Crushed
by Liz Hollow
Summary: "It shouldn't have ended that way." The Champion of Johto had remained so for years; no one could defeat her. So, how could something so simple end her reign so easily? Kotone/Silver.
1. Champion

**Chapter One – Champion**

How did I get here? It seemed like just yesterday I was in my early teens, battling trainers for the thrill of it, meeting new people and growing up. Stopping Team Rocket and becoming Champion of the Johto region had just been part of the fun. Yet it made the adventure even more fun for me, and I never regretted a minute of it. In fact, it opened so many doors for me to meet even more people and become stronger. So, I had to ask again, how did I get here?

It was one in the afternoon on a quiet Monday; the grandfather clock down the hall chimed once, and then the house became silent once more. Hibiki had to be downstairs doing something—what, I had no idea. But there was no noise, nothing to break the silence that clouded our house. Normally I would have been up and about by now, but I would probably not get out of the house today. Or maybe tomorrow.

I had to admit, I was slightly embarrassed to still be living with a roommate at the age of twenty-four. It wasn't my age that embarrassed me, but the fact that poor Hibiki had to cater to my every need bothered me. He had never signed up for this sort of babysitting, and I was ashamed of myself for putting this on him. But whenever I told him that I could move back in with my mother—she would be happy to take care of me—he wouldn't hear of it. If he thought he was helping, he thought wrong. I only felt worse putting him through this.

Nevertheless, I couldn't just up and leave him here by himself. Not only could he not afford rent for our house by himself (as Champion of Johto, I made plenty of money and tried to take most of the rent; once again, he wouldn't hear of it), but I knew a part of him wanted to stay with me. If I left, it would break his heart. Seeing him in that pain… I couldn't do that to him. It was a lose-lose situation for me. There was no middle ground for the two of us.

Then, the silence shattered: the door-bell rang. I could hear voices almost immediately following the ringing. Hibiki's deep voice was alternating with an immature male voice. The voices echoed up the stairs, and despite Hibiki's attempt to be as quiet as possible, I could tell that he was getting annoyed with whoever was at the door; his voice continued to rise dangerously until, once again, silence fell.

My door opened, and Hibiki entered my room carefully, cautiously, not wanting to disturb my "slumber". But I looked at him with opened eyes, and he sighed. He closed the door behind him and sat down at the foot of my bed, just watching me for a moment. I couldn't help but wondering if the boy at the door was still waiting there.

"I didn't realize you were awake. Why didn't you call for me? I would have brought you up something to eat, Kotone." He didn't look annoyed with me, but I could tell that the boy had worn down his temper. Hibiki was just concerned, and he always got all hot and bothered when I didn't eat. But I just wasn't hungry. And I hadn't been for forty-six hours.

"I'm fine," I replied, and Hibiki's eyebrows furrowed.

"You are _not_ fine, Kotone. You need to eat something. When was the last time you ate, anyway?" His fists were clenched, but he looked genuinely concerned. Well, I might not have had an appetite, but I supposed I should eat. I didn't want to worry Hibiki anymore than I had to, after all. "That's it! I'm going to go get you something right now!"

He stood, determined. "Wait!" I called before he got too far. He froze, his hand on the doorknob to my bedroom, and turned back to face me. I was lying flat on my back beneath the covers of my bed, my head supported by two pillows. I snaked my hands up to pull them out of the covers and reached one out to Hibiki.

"Who was at the door?"

"Oh!" He frowned, glancing down at the floor as if he could see straight through it. "Well, you know, it's not really that big a deal. It was just some stupid teenager." I narrowed my eyes, but quickly regretted doing so; I wanted to sleep some more. "Oh, fine. It was just some kid who wanted to challenge you, is all. I told him I would come check with you, but you're clearly not up to it today. You haven't eaten anything in days, and you look worse than usual." He jumped, rubbing the back of his head. "That's not to say that you look bad. You just… usually you're so pretty, and today you're just… Ack! Well, I don't mean that you're not pretty today, but you—"

"Go tell him that I accept his challenge."

This shut Hibiki up. He looked at me as if I had just grown five heads, clear shock written all over his face. "Wha—Kotone, are you crazy? I think you definitely need something to eat. And all this sleeping can't be good for you, either. I know! We can go visit Silver today, what do you think? Oh, no, maybe not. Perhaps he wouldn't mind coming over here, instead. Hmm, I don't know. I'm not sure if Silver will have to—"

I moved my hand to Hibiki's wrist, tugging on it gently to help me sit up. My lungs immediately felt stressed, and Hibiki cried out, putting his free hand behind my back. "Arceus, are you nuts, Kotone? What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to battle him."

"Like hell you are! You can barely get out of bed, never mind going outside and putting your whole soul on the line just for some stupid battle! You would never be able to win, anyway, not like this. You're too weak to battle right now. Can't you just tell him no? I'm sure he wouldn't mind coming back later…"

"No." I forced myself to stand, holding onto Hibiki's shoulders for support. The worst part of my condition was the dependence piece. I could barely do anything without someone's help. I had been so used to being on my own and taking care of myself that it was hard to come back to this. After leaving on my journey at such a young age, I learned all about the joys of independence. And, honestly, I preferred it. As much as I loved my friends, I loved being by myself, with just my Pokémon to keep me company.

Either way, I couldn't change anything now. I was stuck. I always had been one of the lucky ones. Out of the thousands of people who trained Pokémon, I was the one who became Champion. Out of all the people chasing after the Legendary Pokémon, I was the Chosen One. Out of the hundred-thousand people who could have gotten this disease, I was one of the few in my age range to get it. I was always on the short end of the statistics.

"I have to fight him. It's my duty as Champion to accept any challenge. Just because I am sick does not give me an excuse to forgo my responsibilities. I won't give up my title that easily. It would be dishonorable."

Hibiki's eyes widened, and I knew this fight was won. I had gotten my way.

And so I had. He helped me down the stairs and outside to see my challenger, a teenage boy who looked more annoyed than anything else. Though as soon as he saw me, his face dropped, and he only appeared dumbstruck. I did that to people. When people looked at me, I was sure that they expected to see someone stronger. But when I walked out the door, all they could do was stare. I didn't mind. It was probably a big shock to see me when they expected someone better.

"This is the Champion? Are you sure I came to the right place, dude?" The kid pulled himself back together and was staring at Hibiki, who tensed beside me. I held up a hand to stop him from doing anything stupid, though, in all honesty, I knew Hibiki couldn't hurt a fly. That was not to say that he wasn't a good trainer—he did participate in battles on occasion, but if he had the option, he would prefer just hanging out with his Pokémon instead of battling them. Well… now, anyway. He had sort of lost his spirit for battling.

"I apologize for my appearance," I said, and the boy looked back at me. "I haven't had anything to eat in a few days because I have been bedridden. I've attempted to fix myself a little bit whenever I woke, but… well, this was the best I could do. Please do not judge my strength based on what you see before you. I promise that this will be a challenging battle for you. Hibiki will be watching the match and calling the winner. It will be a six versus six battle, no switching allowed."

The boy smirked. "All right, great!" He pulled out a Poké Ball, looking determined. "Well, powerful Champion Kotone, I'm Asa! And you should prepare to lose!"

I smiled, picking out a Poké Ball from the bag that Hibiki had so kindly brought for me. I always wished that I could just let my Pokémon wander around the house freely, but it was too tiny for them. Things often got broken when they were in the house, so I had to keep them in their Balls. I knew they didn't mind; they understood why they couldn't come out in the house. Still, it had to be relaxing for them to come out now.

"Go, Meganium!" I noted to myself not to strain myself too much. I was already tired as it was, and Hibiki was right; I hadn't had anything to eat in a while. I definitely needed some nourishment.

Asa looked particularly smug since he had chosen a fire-type to send out first. I knew his Arcanine would never stand a chance against my Meganium, anyway. This boy was in over his head, skill-wise and attitude-wise. Until he realized that he needed to put more than just strength into his battles, he would never be able to win them.

I hoped he would realize this quickly. My Meganium was far too strong for his poor Arcanine—I would have to get some Super Potions for Asa later, though I hoped he carried some of his own, anyway. Asa, however, didn't look bothered as he recalled his Pokémon to its Poké Ball. He sent out a second one without another thought.

"Ah, so, are you a fire-type trainer, then?" I asked Asa. The look in the Rapidash's eyes matched that of its trainer. They both looked incredibly determined and haughty; I couldn't help but wonder if I had ever looked like that. Ah, but I had known the Champion quite well, so I felt no need to be so smug. I knew Wataru's strength when I entered that battle. I only wanted to prove myself to Wataru and make him proud.

"I'm not telling! I wouldn't want to give you the upper-hand once I defeat this Meganium. This is supposed to be a fair battle!"

I smiled. So, he was indeed a fire-type trainer. "Well, yes, I agree, it is supposed to be a fair battle. And it will be. But telling me your type-specialty won't necessarily give me an upper-hand. So long as you have trained your Pokémon well and treated them nicely, it doesn't matter what type you send out. Yes, the type advantage helps, but my Meganium just defeated your Arcanine, didn't it? It's all about the trust, not just brute strength."

Asa didn't look very happy with my advice. He attacked with that brute force, and I shook my head, disappointed. He could never win this battle.

A wave of heat rushed through my head, and I looked at the Rapidash. It was busy waiting for a command from Asa—nothing had happened. I put a hand to my forehead, quickly pulling it away from the burning. A fever. Well, I would just have to finish this faster. Asa wasn't listening to any of my advice, anyway. What more could he take from a drawn-out battle?

"Kotone!"

Hibiki's voice startled me. I hadn't even noticed that I had fallen to my knees. My chest felt heavy, making it harder to breathe, and my eyelids were ready to close. Maybe if we could just put this battle on hold just so Hibiki could go inside and get me some water and snacks. Once I put something into my body, I was sure I would feel better.

I just couldn't catch my stupid breath!

"Hey, Asa, stop for a minute." Heh, Hibiki sounded pissed.

Asa sounded even more pissed than Hibiki. "What? No, we're in the middle of a battle! If she stops now, she forfeits, and I win! Come on, Rapidash, attack that Meganium! It's not paying attention anymore! Get it while it has its guard down!"

_That kid still has a lot to learn_, I thought.

And I closed my eyes, succumbing to the darkness of unconsciousness.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Just a quick warning—this fanfiction does contain some sensitive themes. But I promise, it is all in good taste. I strive to make everything as realistic as possible while keeping everything appropriate and serious. Also, I explore some interesting topics in this—topics that show up every day, but no one really ever thinks about. We'll get to more of that later.

For the record, what Kotone has is an actual disease. I doubt it will ever be mentioned as to what it is in this fanfiction, for various reasons, but it is a real disease. I had to do some very careful and specific research for this; I did not make up these symptoms. I will not say anymore on the matter, just because I don't want to give anything away.

And, also, I promise that this won't just be an angsty, depressing fanfiction. You'll experience some happy moments, sad moments, angry moments. Like I said, this will be as realistic as possible. I believe many of you will enjoy it. :)

Oh, and I promise there will be some Silver in the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon, alas.


	2. Reign

**Chapter Two – Reign**

Someone was making a lot of noise. I was pretty sure I was back in my room, since whatever I was lying on was soft and warm—I was sweating, dying from heat—but whoever else was in here with me was making a racket. Books slamming shut, fingers on my keyboard rapping away, papers shuffling across other papers. Whoever made all the noise clearly did not care that I was trying to sleep, and I was not amused.

"Oh," a male voice said as I moaned into my pillow, trying to make a point; all this clamor bothered me. "Good. She's waking up finally." I didn't really appreciate the sarcasm that was so evidently dripping from his otherwise flat voice. But, then again, it was no shocker coming from him. Nothing he did or said ever surprised me anymore. I knew him too well. Still, it annoyed me that he was so… blasé with my well-being.

"Kotone!" Hibiki's voice simply added to the already increasing noise level in the room. "Oh, thank Arceus. You know, you need to stop stressing yourself out because then you just get those stupid attacks, and I think you're going to die—I mean… well… you know what I mean. It just makes me really worried. And Silver, too. I had to call him and tell him to come over here because I was really scared, and for some reason he just makes me feel a little better about all of this. I told you that you shouldn't have—"

Silver cleared his throat. I opened my eyes and looked at him; he looked just as annoyed as he sounded. His arms were crossed across his chest, his eyes closed. He was obviously trying to keep his temper and struggling. Hibiki tended to get on Silver's nerves, and I was positive that they didn't like each other very much.

But Silver always came whenever Hibiki called about me.

"You're just adding to her stress level, I'm sure. You should just stop talking. Forever. She might get better that way." I knew that Silver really was joking, but he sounded so serious. Hibiki squeaked, obviously frightened by the threat, and I laughed, coughing a little as I did so. "Hey, seriously, though, don't get so worked up. This attack proves that you're getting worse, not better. So, you just need to take it easy for a while. And you need to get something to eat. Now. Or I'm going to force it down your throat."

"Now, who's stressing her out?" Hibiki asked. He had a point. Silver was freaking me out a bit.

Still, he stayed true to his word: when I told my two friends that I really wasn't hungry—and I wasn't, actually, due to the horrible fever I felt rising in my forehead—they carried me (literally carried me) down to the dining room and made me eat. They sat at the table and watched me take bite after bite of the salad and spaghetti that they made me, and whenever I put my fork down and proclaimed how full I was, they glared at me and forced me to eat more. By the time I had finished everything, I felt worse than before; I had a fever, and I was about to blow up from over eating.

"Do you want to stay down here and do something… or do you want to go back upstairs and sleep some more? You still look really bad." Hibiki's eyes widened, and he waved his hands. "I didn't mean that you look bad! But… I mean, rest hasn't seemed to be helping you get any better since you still fainted and all. You don't look like you've been improving much. It's up to you, though. Whatever you want."

Oh. Yeah. I fainted. What happened to the battle? Where did Asa go?

"Hibi, did you happen to get Asa's number? We still have to finish our battle. I guess I fainted in the middle of it, didn't I? Well, I would have won anyway—that boy needs a lot more training—but it's my duty to finish the battle. He still needs to learn a bit. So, can I get his number?" I looked at Hibiki, and his face instantly fell. Something was clearly wrong. Either he didn't get the number, or he didn't want to tell it to me.

Silver's eyes widened from across the table, and they rested on Hibiki, narrowing into slits. "You didn't tell her yet?" he asked, his voice rising to a dangerous level. Hibiki winced, shoulders hunched. "I can't believe it. She doesn't even know. Way to go."

"Hey!" Hibiki, turning away from me, pointed a finger in Silver's face. His horrified expression had quickly turned into one of intense anger. "Unlike you, I actually care about Kotone's well being. I knew that if I told her, especially after her latest episode, she would just pass out again. I'm not going to risk her health just because of something like this. It can wait—her life can't. So, shut up and go away. You have no right yelling at me about it. Don't you even care about Kotone?"

"Of course, I do, you jackass. How dare you even—"

Man, I was done with this. I didn't even know what was happening anymore. Where did the conversation even start? "Stop it, stop it! Boys, we don't need to fight right now. If you want to fight, do it later when I'm asleep or something. As long as you're not too loud." I paused, looking back and forth between the two boys, who seemed more annoyed now than before. "All right, so can someone please explain what you're not telling me? I promise I won't faint."

"You might want to take back that promise…" Silver muttered, and Hibiki elbowed him in the gut. "Cut it out! She has the right to know!"

"Yeah, and when you put her health in jeopardy because of it—"

"Hey, I told you two to stop it!" I screamed, banging my fist on the table. Both stared at me, clear shock written all over their faces. "In case you haven't noticed, my health isn't in the best of shape already. I'm sick, I want to sleep, I don't want to eat anymore, and I'm currently twenty pounds under the weight I should be." Their expressions didn't change. "So, if you couldn't tell, I couldn't get much worse. So, stop worrying about putting my health in jeopardy—it's already there. Just tell me what you need to tell me."

The only noise following my rant came from Hibiki, who swallowed so loudly that it made an audible 'gulp'.

"Asa is the new Champion," Silver finally said, and my heart nearly stopped beating. Breathing quickly became harder and harder to do; it felt like I had just run a marathon. What did he mean, 'Asa is the new Champion'? How was that possible? The kid hadn't even defeated me. He hadn't even defeated my Meganium.

The tears came before I could stop them.

"Kotone!" Hibiki jumped up from his seat at the table and hurried to my side, kneeling next to me and grabbing my hand. "Breathe normally. Come on, just breathe normally, and you'll be okay! Just get back into that mode, and you'll—"

"What—do—you—mean—he's—the—new—Champ?" The words managed to come, but I still couldn't catch my breath. Hibiki wasn't helping either, although I was squeezing his hand pretty hard to try to control myself.

Silver remained in his seat, looking particularly calm. "Technically speaking, he defeated the old Champion. That would be you. And whenever a Champion is defeated, whether a regulatory match or not, the person who won becomes the new Champion. The only exception would be a double-battle, and in that case, the Champion would remain Champion if defeated."

"I—know—the rules. How?"

Silver understood my question without my needing to add more. I was thankful for that; I didn't know how much more I could say. At this point, I was hyperventilating from crying and not being able to catch my breath. Hibiki was quietly trying to calm me down, but my breathing had become so loud and harsh that I could barely hear him. Besides, I was too focused on Silver's explanation to even care.

"When you passed out, you had to withdraw from the match. That means you forfeited… That also means that you lost. Thus, your reign as Champion has been put to an end, and Asa has taken the title from you."

No… just… no. That couldn't possibly have happened. How was that even fair? How could I lose my title just like that? I hadn't even lost fair and square; I had been cheated out of it all because of a stupid disease and a stupid battle and a stupid boy! How could I no longer be Champion just because I passed out—wasn't there a rule to freeze a battle for medical reasons? How was this fair? How could I lose?

"Most honorable Trainers would choose to have a rematch," Hibiki said, finally coming out of his 'I'm not actually a-doctor, but I'll pretend I am' phase. "But Asa knew what had happened as soon as I called the battle. He knew he had won, and he ran for it. He's long gone. I wanted to chase him down and knock the living daylights out of him, but I needed to take care of you first."

Honor? Wasn't being Champion all about honor? How could Asa be the Champion when he couldn't even be an honorable person? I was. I had been. But now I had been stripped of my honor simply because my body failed me.

Was this the life a Champion was supposed to lead?

"I'm..." I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know what anyone even expected me to do anymore. I had been the Champion for so long that I didn't know how to live without my title. But the way things were going, how could I even live with it? My body was clearly fighting against it. Damn disease.

"Kotone." Hibiki addressed me carefully, cautiously, obviously trying not to hurt me anymore than I already was. "Please, just… you can live without it."

The tears dripping off my face were forming a little pool of water on the table in front of me. But I couldn't stop. I wouldn't stop.

"No." I stood up, trying to catch my breath again. "I can't… I—need—to think."

I ripped my hand from Hibiki's and hurried up the stairs to my room as fast as I could. It just hurt my honor even more to see Silver pass me up those stairs before I even made it up the first step.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I had made up my mind. Silver was still in my room (he had followed me up the previous night to make sure I was okay), but Hibiki was nowhere to be seen. I hadn't expected him to be, but it would be easier telling Silver what I was about to do if Hibi was there. After crying myself to sleep, I woke knowing what I was going to do about my dilemma. Because what kind of Champion would I be if I didn't do anything? Wataru didn't drop off the face of the earth when he lost to me. So, I couldn't stop here.

"I'm going to find him."

Silver put down the book he was reading and looked at me. I couldn't decide whether he was annoyed or angry. The two always seemed to fit together when describing Silver. "Find who?"

"Asa."

"No." There was no argument, no pointless ranting from him. It was just that one word, told to me like a child who wanted candy put wouldn't be getting it. That was that. And yet, I needed to push it. I couldn't just sit here getting worse and worse every day. It wasn't even just my honor that had been taken from me by losing this way; it was my life. I had money saved up, but being Champion was my job (and the only job that I could have while sick—but apparently that hadn't worked out too well). I didn't know anything else. And to lose the way I had, I couldn't move on without my title.

"I'm going to find him," I repeated.

"No. You're too weak to go. How do you expect to find him? You're just going to walk out of the house, and he'll be standing there waiting to have a rematch?" Silver rolled his eyes, turning back to his book. "Hibiki already told you, Asa will have gotten as far away from here as possible. He knows how sick you are, how you won't be able to follow him because you won't make it to him alive. That kid isn't stupid, he's just an asshole. And who says he'll even be Champion when you find him—someone will have defeated him. From what Hibiki said, Asa the Asshole sucks."

I folded my arms across my chest, pouting. Well, it was worth a try, but Silver was having none of it. He wouldn't even look at me anymore. "Oh, come on, ye of little faith! What kind of friend are you? I never expected Asa to be waiting for me. But what kind of ex-Champion would I be if I didn't use this opportunity to the fullest? Just because I'm ill does not mean I should abandon whatever honor I have left. I'm going to find him, and I'm going to succeed. I will be Champion again."

"Let her go."

I jumped, looking at the doorway. Silver looked more annoyed than ever, and he stood up out of his chair and slammed his book down on the table. Hibiki placed a gentle hand on my head as Silver walked towards him, obviously getting ready to fight. But seeing Hibiki touch me, Silver froze, turning his eyes on me with a new fire burning within them.

"How can you even say that? What the hell is wrong with you? You're the one who said yesterday that you didn't want to tell Kotone about this whole fiasco because you were afraid for her health! Yet now you stand here offering her up to the Grim Reaper. Have you lost your mind, or did you never have one to begin with?" Silver thrust a finger into Hibiki's chest, a smirk forming with the last of his comments.

Hibiki didn't get angry easily. He had always been a generally happy guy, always eager to help others and always the first to join in the fun. He was the sunshine on a rainy day, the boy—or man, seeing as he was twenty-four—with the constant smile and kind words. But here he was, looking angrier than I had ever seen him.

"Oh, that's clever," Hibiki scoffed, taking his hand off of my head, "coming from a five-year-old, maybe." He was slowly reaching for a Poké Ball from his belt, I saw. "Look what this news has done to her already. I was right, and you're too immature to admit it. We shouldn't have told her. But your stupidity led her to make this decision; your words were a catalyst for what she is about to do. And she's going to do it. We can't stop her."

"Why not? We can contain her here. She shouldn't be traveling the way she is now. So, why can't we stop her?"

Hibiki unclipped the Ball from his belt, fingers fumbling with it behind his back. "Because of something you would never understand. Her heart has made this decision, and now that it's been made, there's no going back. She will find the strength to go, with or without us. I know Kotone much more than you do." This news seemed to bother Silver the most, his red eyes resting on mine once more. "Though… Silver, you know it would be easier on her if someone went with her."

"What?" I tore my eyes away from Silver's to glance at Hibiki for a moment. He was staring at me, as well, and as I turned on him, he smiled at me. He had been waiting for me to look him in the eyes—but I had been too preoccupied watching him fumble with the Poké Ball and watching Silver that I hadn't. "I'm fine by myself. I couldn't ask either of you to come. I'll just have to stop at the Pokémon Center more often than usual, is all."

"Kotone, you—"

"I'm coming with you."

Silver even appeared shocked as the words came out of his mouth. His eyes were widened, and he wouldn't look at me again. Hibiki, on the other hand, seemed more than satisfied with this, and returned to his normal happy self, clicking his Poké Ball back onto his belt. Perhaps this was all he had needed to hear; just knowing that someone was coming with me was enough for him. No… not just 'someone', I imagined. Hibi wanted it to be Silver, or else he would have offered to come with me.

Once Silver's decision settled with him, his whole body relaxed, and he collapsed onto the foot of my bed. "Kotone, I'm coming with you," he said again. "I'm going to make sure you get your title back."

I nodded. My reign was not over. It was about to begin again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Here's chapter two! So… did anyone see this coming? Asa taking the title, I mean? I think a lot of you might have. I alluded to it a little bit in the first chapter.

A sick ex-Champion and an indifferent rival… out on the road together. What could possible come from this, I wonder? Hmm… ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon! I'm sure the games wouldn't be nearly so fun if I had made them.


	3. Burn

**Chapter Three – Burn**

"I'm carrying your stuff. No arguments."

"Are you crazy? You'll throw your back out! We don't need more than one physically handicapped person on this trip. I'll carry my own bag."

"You're just going to hurt yourself. Again."

"Oh, and you won't? You're not _that_ strong, buddy."

"Shut up."

"No."

"Man, you're annoying. Why am I doing this, again?"

I could already tell that this was going to be the longest trip I had ever been on. Truth be told, I had never actually traveled with another person before. I had always been one to fly solo, to do my own thing, to be independent, but as much as it hurt to admit, I did need someone to come with me. I wasn't sure I would be able to find Asa without someone to help push me along, or perhaps help me whenever I had one of my breathing and eating episodes.

But I didn't need anyone carrying my bag.

Still, it just showed how much Silver cared. As much as it hurt him to admit it—and thus he never would—I was positive that there was a soft spot in his heart for me. There was no other explanation for the many kind things he did for me, and he did them often. Hibiki hadn't specifically asked Silver to come with me, for example. He came by his own accord—and why? He obviously didn't want to see me get hurt. He never had, ever since the day I met him. He just didn't want anything to do with me back then. This had been fine with me… for a while.

No one had ever asked me if I wanted to fall in love with Silver. But then again, no one had asked me if I wanted to give up my title and then go chasing after it. Had I had the option to choose, I would have said no to both; no, I didn't want to fall in love with Silver, and no, I didn't want to lose my title, thank you. And yet both things happened, and I didn't even have a chance to voice my opinion.

I tried to get over my feelings for Silver, but nothing I did seemed to do anything. In fact, I always seemed to feel myself falling harder and harder whenever I saw him sitting in my room looking at all those books. I didn't know what the hell he thought he could do about my condition, but whenever I woke up and saw him sitting there with his eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed, my heart jumped. I felt a strange bit of hope for myself. Not that simply loving a man could cure me of this disease. But I felt like I had a reason for living whenever Silver was around me.

"Then why don't you just go home if you don't want to be here?" I found myself asking, anyway. I covered my mouth with my hand, shocked with myself for even asking such a question. I didn't want Silver to agree and go home. I wanted him to stay with me. I wanted to be dependent on him. I wanted to travel with him. I wanted to have a reason for living. So, why had I even asked him that if I feared his answer?

_Because you want him to say that he'll stay._

Silver stopped in his tracks, and I turned around to face him, trying to keep a straight face. But a hint of worry must have appeared; his face turned from bothered to concern the moment his eyes fell on mine. He didn't move towards me, but he didn't move back, either. Instead, he reached a hand out to me, palm up.

"Just give me your bag, will you? Don't be so stubborn. Let people help you for a change, okay?"

I placed a strap to my bag in his hand, and he swung it over his shoulder, overlapping my straps with those from his backpack. It didn't look particularly comfortable, but he didn't let it show on his face. He just continued walking, brushing past me, our shoulders touching for a brief second before he was steps ahead of me. Standing where I was, I sighed. I had to admit, it felt a lot easier on my body to be rid of that bag. But I wasn't about to let Silver know it.

"I do let people help me." I walked towards Silver, and he slowed down to allow me to catch up with him without pushing myself. He didn't respond to my comment. "Oh, come on, Silver, I do. What do you think you and Hibiki are doing? You're helping me! You're always over at our house trying to take care of me. So, how can you even tell me to let people help me? I already am!"

Silver shook his head, his long red hair whipping around his head with the force. "That doesn't count. We're not helping you; we're taking care of you. There's a difference." I wasn't getting it, and apparently Silver noticed. "Listen. You cannot physically take care of yourself. Whenever you try to, you just end up passing out or hyperventilating or whatever. So, Hibiki and I are just doing what you can't for you. It's not helping. We're just making sure you live."

"Sounds like helping to me," I muttered. Silver's definition of 'help' was very skewed. Didn't 'help' mean to provide strength, to assist, to aid, to give the necessities to live or accomplish a task? Didn't 'help' mean to save? And what Silver and Hibiki were doing for me was definitely saving. I didn't know where Silver had gone to school, or if he ever had, but he definitely didn't know what that one simple word meant.

"Well, it's not. You have to ask for help before it can be given." He crossed his arms and began walking a little faster before suddenly stopping a few feet in front of me. I bumped into him, and he reached back to grab my wrist. "Wait. Do you smell that? It… smells like a fire. But I don't see any smoke, do you?"

I sniffed the air, definitely smelling the telltale burnt smell of a forest burning. Looking around, all I saw were trees and more trees—it just looked like a regular forest. But when I looked up into the sky, a black fog was rolling in, and I gasped.

"Silver, up there! Oh my God, there's a fire! What are we supposed to do? Where is it? Silver—" I didn't get to finish asking my question; Silver pulled on my wrist and made me start walking again. Where he was taking me, I had no idea. But I really hoped that it was toward the fire, if he knew where it was. I needed to do something about it.

"All right, I'm picking you up. I need to get to the police station, but I don't want to force you into one of your episodes." He didn't let me argue, but instead just stopped and scooped me into his arms. I threw an arm around his neck, clinging to him for dear life. How could he even carry me while carrying all of our bags, too? He should have just let me run—no, he was right. I would have just had an episode, and I would be no help at all.

He began sprinted, his legs moving as fast as they could while carrying all this extra weight. Closing my eyes, I prayed that he wouldn't trip over anything, for my sake and his. I could hardly imagine how difficult this was, how strenuous, how terrible. He didn't ask to come… he had volunteered himself to help me. And he was helping, not doing whatever he thought was a better suited word.

"Asa!" Silver suddenly yelled, freezing on the path. A little spark of hope ignited in my gut—was Asa truly here? I could win back my title! But as I looked around, I didn't see anything. So… why had Silver stopped at all?

"Silver—"

"It was him. I doubt he did it on purpose," Silver interrupted, pointing to a tiny piece of fabric on the ground right below us. He kicked it with his shoe, moving it around to get a better look at it. Setting me down, he picked the fabric up—it was an empty lanyard. "He's not an arsonist, as far as I could tell… but he is stupid. And it all fits. He has fire-types, this is his lanyard. It has his name on it, see?"

How the hell had Silver even noticed that while running?

"Asa… well, at least we know that we're heading in the right direction." I took the lanyard from Silver, looking at Asa's name printed across the fabric. "I wonder why the lanyard doesn't have anything on it, though. You'd think if he had accidentally dropped it, it would have had something on it. Especially if he had been carrying it around, it would have had something on it… keys, maybe. So, I don't understand why it's here with nothing on it."

Silver didn't look nearly so concerned with this as I did. He just scooped me back up with no warning and continued to run towards the nearest city. "Hold on to that lanyard. We can use that as evidence. The police won't believe us if we just tell them that there was a fire in the middle of the woods, and we think Asa did it. They'll need proof, and here it is for us. Don't drop it."

It was a few minutes before we reached the city. I couldn't help wondering how much the fire had spread in that short amount of time—we didn't even know how big it was to begin with. Asa had probably been long gone from that forest, seeing as he had left nearly a day before us. So, how long had that fire been burning? And how did it get started to begin with? Why couldn't I get the answers I wanted?

Silver and I explained the situation to the police officer, a young man who recognized me as soon as we had entered the station. I was the Champion, he said, of the Johto region—a heroine to all of the little girls and boys who wanted to be Pokémon Masters—no, an idol! But how could I be an idol when I couldn't even lose with my dignity intact? How could they look up to me when, right now, I was the weakest of all Champions. I was physically and emotionally drained. How could they want to be me? I wouldn't wish that pain upon anyone.

"Thank you for your help," the officer said, anyway, when we finished telling him everything we knew and he had called the forest rangers. He looked at me with shining eyes, never taking them off of me to look at Silver, though he had been the one to do most of the talking. He handed the lanyard back to me, and I clutched it tightly. "We don't need that. The forest rangers have gotten the fire under control, and they said that it was just a wild Pokémon who started it. If you're looking for this person, anyway, you might as well return his lanyard."

"Oh…" I wanted to throw the lanyard on the ground and stomp on it, bury it in the ground, destroy it. The last thing I wanted to do was return the lanyard to the boy who had the audacity to take what was rightfully mine. "Well… All right, I suppose we can do that."

"Kotone!" Silver looked angry. More than angry. He looked pissed. "Asa's the one who started the fire! You can't just leave it at 'it was just a wild Pokémon who started it'."

"We can, and we will." I lowered my voice, pulling Silver closer to me. "Listen, I can't battle Asa if he's incarcerated." He was not pleased, but at least he dropped the subject after that.

"Miss Kotone," the police officer held out a pad of paper and a pen to me, his lip quivering with excitement. Oh, for Arceus' sake. "Could I please have your autograph? My nephew would be so thrilled, he just adores you. He's getting his first Pokémon soon, and he wants to beat all of the Gym Leaders like you did and become Champion. He'd be so happy…"

_No_, I wanted to say. _If you knew anything about me, you wouldn't want him to adore me._ But I didn't say anything. I just took the pad and pen from his grip and signed my name. No one, except maybe Silver and Hibiki, would understand if I said no, anyway.

"Thank you, Miss Kotone! Thank you!" The police officer bowed about a hundred times to me as Silver and I left the station. "You're a hero, you know! Everyone, not just the children, look up to you! I am honored to have met you, dear Kotone!"

Honored? Funny…

"What a loser."

I glanced at Silver, trying to read into his thoughts, but his face was completely stoic. "It's fine that he looks up to you. He just… well, I just think he overdid it a bit. I mean, come on, do you really think he would have asked for your autograph if he knew you weren't Champion anymore? He was just sucking up."

"Oh… Yes, I suppose you're right." My chest was burning now; I was going to have another episode, but I didn't want Silver to get concerned. I continued walking with, albeit a little slower than (which was really fine—Silver wouldn't be able to tell that I was having trouble breathing if he was in front of me), Silver, trying to focus my attention on something other than my breathing. I squeezed the lanyard in my fist instead.

The little lanyard, black with green letters spelling out Asa's name, disgusted me. Just looking at it made me angry. First, Asa stole my title through cheap means… then he ran away like a coward, making me follow him like a pathetic dog. And now… he abandoned a fire that he started in the woods, leaving a little black lanyard behind. And for what? I didn't understand.

Tears came once more, and I stopped, throwing the lanyard on the ground. How could I even be like this? How could I give Asa the satisfaction of following him—how could I go after him? Was that honorable? Was that dignified? Or should I have just stopped and gone down without another thought, even if the way I lost wasn't fair at all?

"Why?" I screamed, my voice rising several octaves. Why would he have abandoned me? Why would he have chosen this victory when he didn't really win? Why was he okay with that? Why did I feel so much hatred towards a fifteen-year-old boy that I didn't even know? Why did my mind burn with fury every single time I thought about him? Why did I have these feelings if I kept telling myself that I had been an honorable Champion? Why—and how—could I hate?

Then, feeling Silver's hand on my shoulder, I ripped myself out of his grip, backing away and shaking my head. "No." I tried to compose myself to speak, and even if I couldn't, I would say what I needed to say. "I will find him. And I will kick his ass." Silver looked particularly taken aback by my word choice. "That kid will regret everything. I… _hate_… him."

"Kotone."

I moved past Silver and picked the lanyard back up, and I turned around to look at the smoke in the sky behind us. It was barely existent anymore, but the hints were there. And it had been Asa that started it and left this lanyard behind.

"I will find out why he left this lanyard behind. It wasn't an accident." I tightened my grip on the lanyard even more, wishing it would just burn with my touch. "He's going to regret it."

My breathing rough and my head heavy, I continued forward, leaving a bewildered Silver behind.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Man, Kotone is ticked. Poor girl. But Asa is the most horrible fifteen-year-old boy in the entire world. He needs to grow up.

The fire (and the lanyard) was not just some random thing. There's some serious symbolism with the fire, as well as with the lanyard. Plus, the lanyard will be even more important later. It most probably will not be mentioned in every chapter. But I can promise that in later chapters, it will be very important.

As annoying as they are in this chapter, I think Silver and Kotone are so darn cute together. I imagine that, even if Kotone was healthy, they would still act really similarly were they traveling together (the whole beginning of this chapter? I could totally see that!).

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Pokemon franchise.


	4. Melt

**Chapter Four – Melt**

I had never seen so many reporters before in my life. But as I entered the next town with Silver, I was swarmed, like Combees to a flower. Unfortunately, I couldn't just swat these reporters away, but I didn't want to talk to them. Even when I first became the Champion, Wataru helped give me full protection from the reporters and all their malicious stories. But now, no longer Champion, they obviously knew something was up.

_But how the hell had they even found me?_

"Miss Kotone! Miss Kotone! Is it true that you are no longer Champion?"

"Miss Kotone, how long has your title been gone?"

"Champion Kotone, what is your relation to the man behind you?"

"Kotone, can you tell us anything about the new Champion?"

They were shouting so many things to me that I could hear only loud murmuring. Yet that last one stuck out to me, the speaker so close to me that it would have been surprising if I couldn't hear her. The woman stuck her microphone in my face, right against my lips (how unsanitary!), her cameraman close behind her. Silver pulled on my shoulder, trying to get me away, but I yanked away. She really wanted to know about the new Champion? Oh, I would tell her, all right…

But Silver scooped me up in his arms and carried me away, brushing right past the reporters without another glance. I stared back at the news reporters and their camera crews, angry with Silver for not letting me answer that lady's question. Because the new Champion? He was the biggest asshole in the entire world. I had never met anyone more immature than Asa.

"What are you doing? Put me down! I need to go back!" I was screaming, thrashing in Silver's arms, acting like a two-year-old instead of a twenty-four-year-old. But how could anyone blame me? How could anyone say that I was wrong? They couldn't. Because I had done nothing wrong but lose my title, and that wasn't right.

"Uh, I don't think so. I can only imagine something ending quite badly if I let you go talk to those reporters. If you want to get your title back, you need to keep your mouth shut. Having the Champion swear her mouth off to a bunch of reporters would probably not be the best way to win over a crowd." Silver wouldn't look at me as he walked with me in his arms, but I could tell that he had a little smile on his face. Jerk. "Anyway, it's getting dark out. We need to take a break and get some rest."

Rest? No, I could keep going; I needed to keep going. But since I had no control over my legs at the moment, seeing as they were being held up by Silver, I had no choice but to silently agree. So, Silver brought us to the Pokémon Center, setting me down upon one of the long couches and chucking our bags down on the ground. Then, with a loud sigh, he collapsed upon the couch, his hair tickling my legs as it brushed against them.

I hadn't realized how exhausted poor Silver was. I never realized it. Even though he was always at my house, searching through books and books while I slept, reading all night, staying awake through the dead of night. I wasn't sure he even slept at his own house; I hadn't actually been to Silver's house before. Generally I was very bedridden, remaining in my house and my room at all times. So, I had never seen his house. But I wondered if he was as much of an insomniac there as he was at my house.

His eyes were shut, and I thought he looked very peaceful. But I could see by the dark patches below his eyes that he was tired, so tired. I brushed some hair away from his face, just staring at the poor man. I had done this? I remembered when we were so young and foolish, so alive and active, and now… this? How had we gone from what we had been to what we had become? How had we completely ruined our lives? No, that wasn't the question. How had I been so selfish as to ruin Silver's life?

"I'm sorry," I whispered, brushing some more fallen hair away from his face.

"Don't be."

I jumped as Silver's eyes opened, having not realized he was still awake, and he looked at me upside down. I didn't pull away from him, despite my mind telling me to. And as he reached a hand up to me, I slipped one of mine into it, my heart melting at his touch. How could he be so nice to me all the time? Sure, we had our little fights, we argued, and sometimes I wanted to yank his hair out… but he always came back to me.

"It shouldn't have ended that way, Kotone." His voice, tired and a little husky, sounded so sure, so angry, so… upset and concerned. "Your reign as Champion, I mean. You should have lost the way Wataru did, or something like that. Not like this." He pulled his hand away from me and let it fall back to his side; his eyes never wavered. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we find Asa. I won't let you down."

_I won't let you down._

_I won't let you down._

"Are you Champion Kotone?" a small voice whispered in my ear, and I turned, seeing a young girl with big eyes staring at me. I couldn't help but feel a little annoyed that she had interrupted what seemed to be an extremely beautiful moment between Silver and I (but perhaps that was my imagination), but her eyes just… how could I be mad at this little girl? She was so darn cute, like a little angel!

"Lie," Silver hissed at me, and I prayed that the little girl didn't hear. But how could I even lie? What was the correct lie? Yes or no?

I nodded at the little girl, and her big brown eyes grew even larger. She reminded me of myself when I was little; her pigtails, her brown eyes, her little nose, her tiny dress and pretty shoes. My mom used to dress me up like a doll, too. And now, here she was, this little girl, looking at me with big eyes like I was some sort of celebrity. I had done that once, too. I had met one of the hosts of my favorite kids' programs on television, and I looked at them the exact same way as this girl was looking at me.

"Oh, oh!" The little girl was bouncing beside me. I wanted to melt, she was so cute! "Champion Kotone! You are on the television, Champion Kotone! Look, look, look!"

She pointed up to the television hanging from the ceiling, and I stared at it, my eyes growing as large as the little girl's, though for an entirely different reason. I was on the television, or, rather, a large picture of me was on the television. I was much younger, much healthier, and I was surprised that the little girl could even tell that was me. Silver sat up next to me, staring at the television with his mouth agape, like he had forgotten what I looked like when I was healthy.

"—rumored that Champion Kotone is, in fact, no longer the Champion of the Johto and Kanto regions. A fifteen-year-old boy, Nakamura Asa, claims to have defeated Champion Kotone in a battle two days ago. There has been no clarification as to whether this is true or not, but when asked, Champion Kotone did not respond."

The screen changed to a video of me being scooped up by Silver and walking away. It was amazing how frightening I looked; to have gone from an average, healthy girl to walking death… it was still amazing (and very scary) to see myself. I often tried not to look in the mirror whenever I went to the bathroom, but every once in a while I would catch a glimpse, only to find myself looking far worse than the time before.

"Champion Kotone has been the Champion of the Johto and Kanto regions for over a decade, having defeated the previous Champion, Wataru." The reporter's face changed, now appearing far more solemn. "Nakamura, along with claiming to be the new Champion, also told reporters that Champion Kotone is 'ill and in bad shape'."

The words flashed on the screen in quotations, and my stomach knotted reading them. Well, thank you, Asa, for going around telling everyone all of my secrets. I had been doing so well preventing anyone from knowing about my disease that didn't need to know. Now the whole world would know—based on that video, anyway.

"This has yet to be confirmed. More to come on Champion Kotone's possible reign conclusion tonight. Now—"

"I don't want anyone to know anything else!" I screamed at the television, standing and pointing a finger, as if the reporter could even hear or see me. The girl beside me jumped, looking at me with those big eyes—but now appearing considerably frightened. Silver stood and grabbed my hand, obviously trying to calm me. I just let my head fall into his chest, forcing myself not to allow any tears out.

"I'm going." My voice was probably being muffled by Silver's chest, and he lifted my chin with his free hand. "Asa is still out there telling the world everything about me—everything that I have been trying to keep secret. He's still out there. I'll never catch up to him at this rate. I need to keep moving, Silver. I need to make it to the next town tonight. I need to get there now."

He looked taken aback, pulling himself a few steps back. "No, are you crazy? It's nearly 10:00. It's dark out. There is no way you can make it to the next city tonight… you'd be lucky to get there by dawn."

I took my hand away from Silver, and picked up my bag from in front of him, stepping around the surprised man to get to the doors of the Pokémon Center. He grabbed my arm as I tried to escape—but I had expected this. "You can't leave, Kotone. You can't just leave at 10:00 at night and expect to make it to the next town safely. Especially in the shape you're in."

"Oh, am I in bad shape?" I hadn't meant to sound so accusing, so mad, but it slipped out that way. And perhaps I was accusing, perhaps I was mad. Watching that reporter announce my biggest secret to the world—not that I was no longer Champion, but that I was ill and in bad shape—was heart-shattering to me. I had always tried to hide my illness from everyone except for my mother and my friends. But since I had gotten sick, I always tried to be strong, to just pass my appearance off by saying I was just tired. It always seemed to work—all of my challengers said nothing about it. And now, in a single moment, my secret was out.

I didn't want to be known at the sick Champion. I didn't want people to see me as someone to pity. I just wanted to be Kotone.

Evidently, that was too much to ask.

I turned back, brushing right past Silver and walking over to my forgotten little friend. "I want to tell you a secret." The girl looked near tears, but she still reminded me so much of myself. "I'm no longer the Champion of the Johto and Kanto regions because I am very sick. But I'm going on an adventure to become the Champion again. The next time I see you, I'll be Champion again. You can continue to call me Champion Kotone, if you want. Or you can just call me Kotone. Okay?"

The little girl nodded, her expression changing once more to something resembling delight; well, then, I wasn't a bad guy, anymore. "Okay, Champion Kotone! Kotone! Okay! I'm gonna tell my mommy and daddy that I met Kotone!"

"Thank you…"

"My name is Chouko! I'm Chouko!"

"Then, thank you, Chouko."

I smiled at the brown-eyed girl, heading back for the door where Silver was waiting. I half expected him to started blocking the exit, but that would prohibit people from entering, as well. Still, he stood there, arms crossed, looking more like a stubborn child than a grown man. Yet it still made my heart pound, and I wondered if I was doing the right thing?

_Isn't getting my title back the right thing?_

"Silver, I'm going. I'm sorry that you don't understand, and I'm sorry that I made you come with me. But this is my life. I need to find Asa."

"Exactly, it's your life!" He uncrossed his arms, reaching out for my shoulders, but I backed away too quickly. "Kotone, you're so stupid. You're just so damn stupid and foolish." He closed his eyes, turning away from me. "Just go. Go and get Asa, but don't come crying back to me when you can't make it."

I gasped, narrowing my eyes. Wasn't he the one who said he wouldn't let me down? What a joke! "Fine, I won't. And don't you come crying back to me when…"

Instead of finishing my sentence, I just walked out of the Pokémon Center. I didn't want my last words to Silver being something I would regret because I would never be able to make it to the next town tonight if all I did was worry about it. So, I just walked away, forcing my legs to move before I ran back to Silver.

Why did he have to be so stubborn?

_I won't let you down._

What a joke.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I love little kids. I wish I was still in elementary school (I'm so old now, you guys!). Those were the good old days. Actually, did you know that I started writing fanfiction in elementary school? My first fanfiction was a Harry Potter fanfiction, and it was quite horrible. I think I still have it somewhere. I drew a cover for it and everything! Haha! (I swear, when I was little, I used to be good at drawing—what happened? I must have used all my artistic ability up writing.)

Anyway, here is another chapter. More was supposed to happen in this chapter, but when I saw how long this was getting, I figured I would just bump the rest onto the next chapter. Which is actually good because it makes this chapter a lot… cleaner. Idea-wise, I mean.

So, I hope you enjoy this chapter! I will try to update soon, okey dokey?

Disclaimer: I own nothing Pokemon related.


	5. Fly

**Chapter Five – Fly**

I underestimated the spookiness of the woods at night. All right, sure, I had been out during the night before, but that was before when I actually had a backbone. Now, even with my Jolteon lighting up the darkness, I was more than frightened by the mysterious forest. Every now and again I would hear something, somewhere, everywhere, making me completely disoriented. And then I would see shadows dancing around me, just trying to taunt me.

Yet I knew it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Who else would be up this late at night? And if it was a Pokémon, well, my Jolteon could take care of that. I didn't want to initiate a battle, anyway. I just wanted to get through these dang woods as quickly as I could without having an episode. My paranoia was not about to slow me down. I needed to keep moving, keep walking, keep heading for Asa.

_Snap!_

No, that was just my imagination again. I needed to busy myself with something else, was all. "Keep walking, Jolt, keep walking." I looked at my Pokémon, biting my lip as it turned its head up to me and tilted its ears back. She heard something, too. "No, we're just hearing things. It's just what we want to think. Well… I don't specifically _want_ to think that I'm hearing things. But you know what I mean, right?"

How long had I been walking through these woods? A few hours, at least, and I forgot that Silver had all the food and water in his bag. My thirst needed to be forgotten. I could wait to get something to drink until I got to the next city. It wouldn't be too long. Silver had been exaggerating when he said I wouldn't be able to make it to the next city before dawn… perhaps he had been the one slowing me down to start with.

Oh, Silver. I tried to convince myself as soon as I had left the Pokémon Center not to think of Silver, but at least thinking about him took my mind off the noises I heard. Though I told myself repeatedly that I said nothing to him that I should regret, I had to admit, I was missing him. I did not enjoy caring my own bag one bit. How had I ever been strong enough back in my teens to go on an adventure with my bag packed to the point of near-exploding? Apparently I had been fit back then. Now, I was just skin and bones. But I blamed that on my illness.

Maybe I had been a tad harsh on him, though. What had he said? _You're just so damn stupid and foolish. Just go. Go and get Asa, but don't come crying back to me when you can't make it._ And I had just agreed and left. Well, that was what he got for not believing in me. I had the Champion spirit, the Champion blood! I could do anything… couldn't I? Couldn't I make it to the next town without him? Well, I would, if only to show Silver that I could.

_I won't let you down._

Why would he say that if he was just going to let me down, anyway? What was the point of saying something when he could so easily go back on it? It was in his head, I was sure, that he was going to let me down, or else he wouldn't have so easily left me. Or I left him? Either way, he must have known that he was lying to me. So, what was the point of lying? It only made me feel worse now—was that the point, then?

_You're just so damn stupid and foolish._

All right, so maybe I was. Foolish, at the least. And maybe Silver was being generous—he could have thrown more words in there… selfish, perhaps. Silver volunteered to come with me. He never wanted to, I was sure. Maybe he felt obligated. Maybe he just needed to. I didn't know. But he never had to come.

And, sure, maybe I shouldn't have walked out on him. Now he was probably sleeping in a Pokémon Center all by himself. But without me, maybe he could get some rest. He looked like he needed it big time. The bags under his eyes, the tired expression. He looked just as sick as I did, and I knew that he wasn't. My disease, as far as I knew, wasn't contagious. For all the time Hibiki and Silver spent around me, they would be just as sick as I was if it was contagious. Silver was just tired. Very, very tired. Of me.

_Snap!_

"Oh, come on! This is just getting ridiculous!" I yelled, turning around. My Jolteon growled, ears bent back, teeth bared. "If you're following us, you might as well just come out now and stop hiding. I assume it's getting difficult, what with all the branches you keep stepping on. So, save yourself from trying to hide and get your butt out here."

Nothing. No response. Nothing. Oh, please, what the hell was going on here? Was I really just talking to no one, or was the person hanging out in the middle of the woods at midnight just afraid of me? I really hoped that I wasn't going insane. My Jolteon heard it, too. So, either both of us were going crazy (unlikely), or the person was too scared to show him or herself (likely).

"First and foremost, I would like to say that if you are stalking someone in the woods, you should probably be brave enough to come face-to-face with them." I didn't know who I was addressing, but they weren't very brave. "Doesn't being scared kind of defeat the purpose of stalking? Just wondering…" I shoved my hands in my shorts' pockets and continued walking, my Jolteon walking close to my side, ears still bent back.

_Snap!_

"Okay, seriously, you are really terrible at this. I could do a better job than you, and honestly, I'm sure your body is much more up to it than mine is." I shook my head, annoyed with myself for even bothering to talk to something that probably didn't exist. "Well, if you are real, and you're not in my head, then could you at least be a bit quieter if you won't come out? I'm sick of hearing snapping branches every two seconds. It's making my heart go a little nuts."

And that it was. My heart beat had increased dramatically, what with my nervousness and all. If the person followed me cared at all—and, of course, I doubted they did—then they would leave me alone so I wouldn't have a panic attack. Because Arceus knew I would, if this continued.

Then, _snap, snap, snap_!

For the love of Arceus.

But I had to admit, those consecutive snaps sounded a bit different… a bit… rushed. I knew for sure I wasn't just making this up. My Jolteon was growling again, her ears now upright, head pointed into the darkness of the forest behind us. There was someone—or something—there, following us. If it was Silver, I would kill him.

"Silver, if that's you, you better run. Because I am not very happy."

No, it couldn't be Silver. He knew about my disease, and, as far as I knew, he cared. He would've come out when he heard me mention my heart. He wasn't cruel, and he didn't play tricks. So… who the hell was following me?

"This isn't funny…"

Damn. In, out, in, out. My chest, once again, had reached its breaking point. Outtake exceeded intake… No breath… couldn't catch it. Damn.

"Asa!" I managed to breathe. My Jolteon cried out, barking at me as I sat down on the ground, head against my knees. Maybe Silver had been right. Maybe I shouldn't have come out here all by myself. And maybe Hibiki had been right. Maybe I did need someone with me. I just couldn't handle it by myself. Even with my team with me, even with my Jolteon guiding the way, I just couldn't handle the pressure.

Even though I was sick, it did make me wonder… how had I done it so long ago? How had I done it when I was so _young?_ I had so much experience now, and yet I had an easier time by myself when I was a mere child. It wasn't just my disease. It wasn't that. There was something I was missing now that I had before. I just couldn't pinpoint it.

"Jolteon…" I reached a hand out to her, and she howled, the light she provided going out until I was left in the pitch-black darkness.

* * *

Well, I was tired of this happening. How had I even gotten to the point that I fainted nearly once a week—twice a week, this time? It only led to more problems for me, more problems for my Pokémon, more problems for Silver and Hibiki. Why couldn't I control my own body anymore? Why was I getting progressively worse each day?

"Kotone! Oh, you're waking up, thank Arceus!"

That voice… it was very familiar to me. I couldn't tell who it was, but I remembered it. It sounded more mature than the last time I had heard it, which was probably a while ago, considering how long I had been bedridden, but I still couldn't tell who it was.

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to clear my vision. Hayato, looking uncharacteristically, at least to me, concerned, was leaning over my face, staring at me as though we were having a staring contest. He backed away from me as I sat up, giving me space, but I couldn't help but wonder what I was doing with him. And… why I was in his gym.

"Sorry, I didn't know where else to take you. I needed to make sure you were all right," he told me, as if reading my mind. "I was going to take you to the Pokémon Center, but I… something told me that you didn't want to go there. Your Jolteon kept poking at me when I tried to take you there first, so I just brought you here. I hope you don't mind. I closed the gym down for today, so no trainers are coming in."

"How did you find me?" His Pidgeot flew over to my side, dropping a water bottle that it had held in its mouth. I picked it up, taking a swig of the delicious liquid—which had never tasted so good before.

"I was flying, and my Pidgeot noticed you passed out on the ground." Hayato reached out and stroked his bird, and I smiled, despite my increasing embarrassment. "He remembers you well, you know. You met him a long time ago, but he knows you." He paused, looking at me now, his eyes searching my face for something. "Is it true?"

"What?" I asked, though I knew exactly what he wanted to know.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm not one to believe or spread rumors, believe me on that. But I can't help but think that they're right. You don't look well, Kotone. How did they word it? 'Ill and in bad shape'? You look like that. So… is everything they have been saying true? Are you ill? And are you no longer Champion? I'm here to listen, not to judge. Please tell me everything."

So, I did.

I told him everything: how a year-and-a-half ago I woke up in the morning with a fever that never seemed to go away, how I went to four different hospitals being tested again and again and again with no success, how I was told that there was no cure for my disease, since they didn't even know what it was, how they said I would probably die before I was thirty—and I was already twenty-two when they said that and was twenty-four now.

I told him how I had been getting worse and worse, having more of my "episodes" than ever before, how I ate less now because I could no longer stomach anything (hence my horrid skinniness and severe lack of energy), how I spent most of my days bedridden because I was too sick to get out, how I wanted to get better so I could just be normal again, how I continued to battle trainers and pretended to be okay.

How I lost to Asa because I fainted mid-battle.

How I was no longer Champion.

How I was going out trying to find Asa, how Silver had come with me, how much I loved him, how I had abandoned Silver (and it had been me, not him, who had walked away) because of my pride, how I was so tired all the time, how I wanted to die a Champion, a _champion_, not a fool, not a loser, not the girl-who-was-Champion, how I wanted to die known as Kotone.

How I didn't want to die at all.

How I woke up every morning starving, but refusing to eat, tired, but not wanting to sleep, lonely, but wanting everyone to just stay away from me. How I knew that Silver was looking for the cure that didn't exist—and that was what he did every night while I slept—and how I just wanted him to stop. How I knew I couldn't continue on alone but was too embarrassed now to call him back.

How unfair my life was.

How I knew Asa had started the fire and how I knew the lanyard he left behind was important, even though no one would believe me if I told them. How I heard noises in the woods and that had scared me. How I suspected Asa was behind it.

How I hated Asa, who was, more likely than not, just a regular, stubborn, selfish fifteen-year-old boy who probably didn't know any better.

How I hated myself more.

I told Hayato all of this, and he sat beside me, listen patiently as I spilled my entire story out for him to see. He never once said a word, never once interrupted, and he only moved to rub my back with a sympathetic hand as I began to cry—weep—bawl. Hearing myself say all of the things aloud, all of the things I had been keeping secret, I couldn't handle it.

It was silent for a while, with no noise in the gym besides that of my crying and hyperventilating (which had triggered some violent breathing issues). Hayato stayed calm through it all, helping me get my breathing back. Nothing I did seemed to scare him away, though I knew I was in a frightening state.

Realizing this only caused me more pain, upset me more, and I cried louder into Hayato's shirt. Yet he only whispered, "It's okay. It's okay, I promise it'll be all right, Kotone."

_Kotone, Kotone, Kotone._

_It's okay._

_Kotone_.

Then, a gust of wind whipped around the gym as the door banged open, startling the two of us. I thought the gym was closed—and I certainly did not want to end my little therapy session. This was the first time I had cried like that, the first time I had someone to talk to about everything I'd been through.

It was the first time anyone had listened.

Yet here we were, being interrupted so rudely.

"Kotone! Can you please kill him for me? You're stronger, and I want him good and dead."

I jumped, hearing this familiar voice, and I turned around (complete with my tear-stained face), watching as Hibiki dragged Silver into the gym by the ear.

* * *

**Author's Note:** All right, so I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow (mostly because I updated yesterday and didn't want to update immediately after that). But I really, really, really liked this chapter. It was so nice to explain some of what happened in Kotone's past (well… relatively… I explained most of the disease part—though I still won't say what the disease is), and I wanted to let you all know that Silver was still there!

Plus, it's my birthday today! (I'm SOOOOO old—18.) So, this is my gift to you for being such supportive readers!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or anything in relation to it.

P.S. Hayato = Falkner


	6. Jump

**Chapter Six – Jump**

"Stronger? Are you talking to the right person?" I choked out, managing to crack a smile at the scene unfolding before me. Silver didn't look particularly comfortable being dragged into the gym by his ear, yet Hibiki seemed to get an immense amount of joy from it. Despite his serious expression, his eyes were lit up with something else that told me that Hibiki was enjoying every moment of Silver's pain.

Hibiki only removed his hand from Silver's ear and proceeded to shove him in front of me, his eyes losing that gleam and changing to a more solemn state. "Yes. Your Pokémon could wipe the floor with this… fool." A certain amount of disgust was thrown out with that last word, and I imagined Hibiki was saving the rest for later. The little smile I had on my face had completely disappeared as quickly as Hibiki's amusement. "Silver, you apologize to Kotone _now_ for abandoning her! You apologize right now! Look at her—she's crying about it!"

"Shut up!" It was barely anything more than a hiss to Hibiki, but I heard Silver say it, anyway. His face turned away from mine, I wondered whether he was too afraid to see me crying or too ashamed to look. But he had nothing to be ashamed about, while I most definitely did. How could I just walk away from him so easily when he was the only one (beside Hibiki, who I understood needed to watch the house) who helped me along the way? I didn't need to confess to Hayato to know this; I just needed the slap in the face to wake up.

"Hey, boys, please stop!" But I was completely ignored, shut down, rejected, my voice too small to be heard. No one even took a glance at me, not even Hayato, and I wondered if they had even heard me at all. Or perhaps I was just a tiny voice in the back of their heads, annoying and almost nonexistent, but still there nonetheless.

"Why should I apologize? Come on, Hibiki; tell me, why the hell should I apologize?" Silver would not look at me, but instead kept his gaze on Hayato—not Hibiki, who he was probably too scared to confront face-to-face—with something like disdain in his eyes. I couldn't tell whether it was focused on Hayato or Hibiki (or even me), but either way, it was there.

I couldn't help but feel a little hurt, a little embarrassed, by what he was saying. While I knew and understood his reasoning, in spite of its being unsaid, it bothered me, anyway. When it came to me, Silver had always been very forgiving, partially due to my knowledge of his past, and also to his severe embarrassment for this small detail. He would forgive and forget my faults if only because he was ashamed to have more (though he never specifically told me this, one could easily infer it).

But not this time. There was not a hint of forgiveness upon his face, not one clue that he wanted to forgive me. I understood his not wanting to apologize; he hadn't done anything wrong, so why should he? And I also understood his not wanting to forgive; he was the one who had been abandoned, and yet he was taking all the blame from Hibiki. Yet I felt hurt that he wouldn't forgive me.

"You're that boy from all those years ago," Hayato commented, standing up and walking towards Silver. "The one that was immensely strong but horribly weak at the same time." It was a statement, a fact, not an opinion. In Silver's doubled-over position, I saw his hands curl against the ground as he let his head sag. "You've grown, but you still have not matured. This young lady opened herself to you, yet you let one very small mistake break her. Why don't you look at her?" This wasn't necessarily a question, but more like a polite command. "Look at her!"

I didn't know if he actually looked. I couldn't face him now, not when he was not choosing to look at me, but being forced to. Hayato seemed much more settled after a few moments, so I imagined Silver must have looked, only to see my avoided gaze. All I could do was glance between Hayato and Hibiki—Hibiki looking more frustrated than I had ever seen him, Hayato just looking a tad annoyed. But it was all directed at Silver, not me.

"Stop it! Please, all of you, just stop it!" I had somehow stopped the tears threatening in my eyes from flowing again, but I could feel my lungs starting to collapse again. Taking as deep a breath as I could muster, I turned my eyes on Silver. "I'm sorry, Silver, it was my fault. They can so easily forget my mistakes… but I think they always give you a harder time. So, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just walked out on you. I've gotten you into some unnecessary trouble, and I feel horribly about it. For this whole stupid thing, I'm sorry!" I paused, but I wasn't waiting for a reaction. "I should have never left home." I paused once more. "I'm just getting worse and worse, and that's a terrible burden for you to carry. It was unfair of me to ask it of you."

I stopped, searching his eyes for a response, a reaction, anything that I knew he wouldn't give, and surely enough, all was blank. He had looked away from me during my apology, turning his eyes to the floor, but that was the only reaction I had received. And that wasn't much; Hayato and Hibiki had also turned their eyes to the floor.

"Did you hear her, _Silver_?" Hayato spoke his name like it was a swear word, something disgusting and forbidden, something that ought not to be said. "Do you hear how she asks for forgiveness? She realizes her wrongdoings, and she understands what she has done wrong. Do you?" Another pause. Silence. "I have a feeling you've been in the picture for quite some time. She told me everything, you know. It sounds like you really care for her well-being, but why do you try so adamantly to hide it from her?"

"Shut up. That's none of your business." Silver stood up now, moving forward and getting right up in Hayato's face. "For your information, she's the one that left me. I have no idea why you're putting all the blame on me. I know what I signed up for when I decided to come with her—and you know absolutely nothing about Kotone. She's an individual; she _likes_ to be alone. She does better alone." His eyes flashed to me, the beginning of a guilty grin on his face. I found a certain amount of joy in seeing that, like he was finally forgiving me.

"I was planning on following her in the morning, anyways, just so I could make sure she was okay by herself. But Hibiki here flew in and pulled me—quite painfully—all the way to this dump." Silver backed away from Hayato and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Said he got an urgent call from you about Kotone."

"You still let her go! It doesn't matter whether you were going to follow her or not, you asshole. _You still let her go!_" I had never heard Hibiki sound so angry before, and I had to admit, it was a little frightening. When he was angry, he was _angry_. His face was turning a violent shade of red, his eyebrows very nearly knitted together. Even his eyes held something dangerous, the grey irises gleaming red.

He continued, and I half-wanted to cover my ears and protect myself from this. "She passed out, for goodness' sake. Again. You would think someone would learn after she did it the first time, right? Kotone even _admitted_ she was getting worse—and you were there when the doctors said she would, so don't you dare act like you didn't know. What if Hayato hadn't found her? Do you want her to die? Well, _do you_?"

Silence. Absolute silence. I couldn't even hear anyone breathing, if only because I was pretty sure no one actually was. Everyone held their breath; Hibiki was evidently too pissed to bother breathing, I was too stunned by Hibiki's yelling, Hayato was staring at Silver waiting for a response, but Silver looked far too scared to speak. The poor boy was probably just as stunned by Hibiki's outburst as I was.

"Of course not," Silver finally said, turning his eyes on me. "How could you even ask—of course I don't want her to—I'm not—what do you think—how dare—"

"Hey, hey, can we please stop putting the blame on him, just for a minute?" I asked, figuring Silver needed some serious saving. "Yes, he let me go, but you weren't there. You don't know the circumstances under which I left. I was a tad… um… well, a tad witchy to him. Secondly, the only reason I passed out was because I thought someone was following me, and it freaked me out a little. No one could have done anything, anyway, so why does it even matter?"

"Great, man, you the one who scared her! You made her pass out, you idiot!" Hibiki stared at Silver with the same hatred that had been on his face nearly a decade ago when I first introduced them to each other.

"I didn't follow her, jerk," Silver muttered, rolling his eyes. "I said I was going to follow her in the morning. I was still at the Pokémon Center when you came, wasn't I? Seriously, who's the idiot now?"

"Well, Kotone told me that she thought this new Champion was the one following her." Hayato rubbed the back of his neck, looking more unsure than I had ever seen him yet today. "Though I'm skeptical about it. Why would _he_ be following _her_, when she was the one following him to begin with? It just doesn't make any sense to me."

Hibiki coughed. "Yes, well, Asa is a hormonal fifteen-year-old boy, and Kotone is an attractive, albeit deathly ill, twenty-four-year-old woman. I think the real question is, why _wouldn't_ he follow her?"

I couldn't help but stare at Hibiki after that comment. But I could see I wasn't alone out of my peripheral vision; Silver and Hayato were also staring at Hibiki, both with reasonably disgusted expressions. I didn't know if I should have been insulted by that, but either way, I was surprised to hear it come from Hibiki's mouth.

"Okay," I said, trying to move the conversation along. "I'm going to have to agree with Hayato. Sorry, Hibiki." I nodded to him, and he shrugged, clearly not impressed by my choice. "I wasn't sure who was following me because they wouldn't come out. But they obviously didn't hurt me after I passed out, and they didn't—wait, where's my bag?"

"Here." Hayato nudged it on the ground, and I sighed, instantly relieved. "I borrowed your PokéGear to call Hibiki; he was listed under your emergency contacts. Your bag was still zipped and everything when I found you. You can check if the person took anything."

He passed the bag over to me, and after a quick examination, I concluded that nothing was taken. All of my potions, all of my Poké Balls, the lanyard, everything was still there. So, maybe I had just been paranoid that entire time. But something in my gut told me otherwise. That something told me to keep being paranoid because I was right. I picked the lanyard out of my bag and shuffled it between my hands, trying to think. There just had to be someone out there.

"So, the person had no intention to hurt Kotone," Silver noted, and I could tell the mental checklist in his mind had started up. "I would say the person was trying to make sure she was okay, but he wouldn't have just left her in the woods after she fainted. And if they were just trying to scare her, well, it worked, but that doesn't seem like a plausible explanation. People don't just do that for the hell of it."

I stared at the lanyard, the blindingly bright green letters spelling Asa's name screaming at me. I didn't know what to think about any of this anymore. Did Asa intentionally start that forest fire? Why did he leave this lanyard behind? Who was the person that followed me in the woods? And why did I have this gut-wrenching feeling that Asa was behind it, even if it didn't make any logical sense?

But then, none of this was really very logical. Why start now?

"I said I wanted to get my title back, and I meant it. Even if I shouldn't have started this journey, I still did, so I'm not about to end it now." All eyes had turned on me, every single pair: red, grey, blue. Each of them held a different unspoken message, but I ignored them and continued. "There are too many unanswered questions, and I need to get the answers. Asa is up to something, and as ex-Champion, I cannot allow it to continue. I'm going, whether Silver wants to come with me or not. I'm going to keep going."

There was no response from Silver. Instead, Hayato stepped forward, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a Poké Ball.

"It may be easier for you if you fly. No one can follow you that way, and you won't have to worry about walking. Plus, you'll get an aerial view—you might be able to spot Asa faster." He held the Ball out to me, gesturing for me to take it, but Silver stepped in front of me.

"No flying," he said, his back to me. "The doctors all said the same thing: no flying. They didn't know what the increasing pressure would do to her body. Plus, if she passed out while she was in the air, she wouldn't survive the fall. Her body is fragile enough as it is."

I could see Hayato put the Ball back in his pocket, though I could not see his expression while doing so. Hibiki, on the other hand, I could see clear as day, and he looked annoyed once again.

"Oh, so now you care about Kotone?" Hibiki asked with a sneer, a certain amount of scorn weaved into his voice.

"I've always cared!"

Silence filled the room once again. My heart jumped, my stomach twirling inside of me, and I wondered whether there was a double-meaning to this. But maybe I was just fooling myself, maybe Silver just liked me—as a friend and only a friend—and didn't want to see me die. What kind of person would want that, anyway?

Still, Hayato and Hibiki must have been sensing something, too, since they both stared at Silver with their eyebrows raised as Silver backed away.

"About her well-being, I mean," Silver corrected, and everything that had moved within me sunk back down, dejected. So, everything had been just a fluke. Who could blame him? Why would he be in love with a girl who found her title more important than her relationship with him? Wasn't that what I was doing? Prioritizing the wrong thing?

Hibiki crossed his arms, looking at me with sympathetic eyes before turning angrily to Silver. "Nice save, asshole."

Silver narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms as well. I could see the beginnings of a brawl happening here, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get involved. Picking my purse up and backing away, I brought myself closer to Hayato, figuring I was safe next to him.

"Thank you for everything. You've done too much to me, and I have no idea how I'll make it up to you. But I will. I promise," I told him, smiling at him with as much thankfulness as I could manage. He had done so much for me, just today alone, and I was very fortunate.

He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, and whatever color I had left to my body all moved to my face. "Don't mention it." He shrugged, a tiny smile on his face as he looked at the staring contest happening in front of us. "You've got a whole lot of people out there who care about you, Kotone. Don't forget that. I wish you luck on your journey; I do hope you get your title back. Someday we can have a rematch, yes?"

"If I'm better," I agreed, but he shook his head.

"When." I raised an eyebrow, and with a quick glance at me, he clarified: "_When_ your better, not _if_."

_Yes,_ I thought, clutching the little lanyard in my hand. _When I'm better. I'll challenge you in my next life, then._

With a quick goodbye to everyone, I started out the door, walking down the road to the nearest store to pick up some food and water. I needed to stock up if I was ever going to find Asa, which at this point was looking unlikely. He was probably towns and towns ahead of me, and I was never going to find him.

"Hey, wait! You forgot something!"

I jumped, startled, and turned around to see Silver running after me, carrying the bag with all the food and water in it. I reached out for it, expecting him to hand it to me, but he shook his head, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

"No," he said, looking at me with something unrecognizable in his eyes. "You forgot me."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Whoo-hoo! I'm so proud of myself for finishing this today, not gonna lie. I was really afraid I wasn't going to, and then I would have felt bad for the rest of the day. Geez, I feel like I just finished a marathon or something (is that pathetic?).

Anyway, I had to clarify something: why Kotone wasn't just flying to all these towns. No one ever mentioned it, but I just wanted to make it known in case you were secretly wondering in the back of your mind. 'Cause we all know that once we get Fly in the games, that's all you do. No more walking for you! But Kotone has to, unfortunately.

Anyhoo, this chapter ended up being longer than I expected. I got to 2,000 words, and I was like, "Darn, this is going to be so short!" But everyone was very talkative! Hehe.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: No Pokemon for me. :(


	7. Freeze

**Chapter Seven – Freeze**

I couldn't help but feel a little bad for Silver. While he had come back and all, things were so terribly awkward that I wasn't sure I wanted him around anymore. Everything had so suddenly changed, just with my one mistake, and I wondered why he had even bothered to follow me. I knew he cared. He just didn't want to. So, why did he even bother?

_You forgot me._

But I didn't forget him. I gave him the choice, was all. And maybe he had made the wrong one by following me. Though I didn't know the circumstances. Perhaps Hibiki and Hayato had forced Silver into following me (closely)—I knew Hibiki would have no problem bullying Silver into coming after his freak out. And perhaps Silver came of his own free will, but he felt obligated to, like the choice was already selected for him. I didn't know what thoughts had been running through his mind, but I did know this: I didn't need to, or want to, know why he came back.

Days passed and passed in this awkward state, but a part of me felt frozen in time, like nothing was proceeding forward. It was the same pattern every single day: we woke up in the morning after stopping either at a Pokémon Center or setting up a camp, ate some breakfast, continued our journey to track Asa (though we weren't even sure where he was at this point, I was praying we were heading in the right direction), ate some lunch (which I refused nearly every day), walked some more in the terrible silence, and then stopped when it got dark and ate dinner.

And then there were my issues. Amidst all that walking and eating, I would usually have one or two episodes, including (but not limited to) my breathing abnormalities, rising fever, and intense fatigue. I felt sorry that Silver had to deal with it, as all of these problems were becoming more frequent with each passing day. I couldn't help but wonder when I would reach my limit, since this seemed bad enough already.

All of my doctors had told me the same story… that they didn't know anything about my disease, but based on the symptoms, I would get worse as I aged. And then one day, when my body couldn't handle it anymore… Well, no one liked to mention it. It was like a dirty word, the one thing that everyone was too afraid to say. But I wasn't.

"Dead. I would be dead."

I didn't know that I had said that aloud until I noticed Silver had frozen in his tracks, staring at me with such a bewildered expression that I felt a little embarrassed. He didn't move from his spot, but the distance seemed to close between us with that shocked stare. I had seen more in that face now than I had seen since we left Hayato's gym. There was actually emotion!

"What?" I wondered, staring at him with a stoic expression, trying to get him to see how nonchalant I was about this. But I was just a good actress. Because in actuality, I was scared. I didn't want to die, I didn't want to leave Silver or Hibiki. I knew that both of them would blame themselves—especially Silver. He worked so hard trying to save me… if I died, he would think he failed. And yet we all knew the day was coming. Because the fact was… I was getting worse, not better.

And everyone knew it.

"Nothing. I thought you just said—"

"That I'm going to die? I did." I shrugged, trying to close the distance between us, but Silver just backed away like I was something poisonous. "We all die, Silver. It's not like it's a big deal. All I need is to go out with a bang. I need my title back. But if we're just going to stand around here and talk, that isn't going to happen, is it?" I flashed him a smile, hoping he would stop looking so shocked, but his face was in a freeze. "Come on."

And then, he shook his head, closing his gaping mouth. "We need to stop." When he saw me glance towards the sky, seeing that it was still fairly light outside, he sighed. "Listen, I just want to take a break. We've been trying to find Asa for, what, a week now? My feet hurt, your feet probably hurt, and I'm not really sure your body is up for these long walks anymore. We just need to stop."

The message was a lot more loaded than that, I could see. We didn't just need to stop walking. We needed to stop pretending like everything was going to be okay, like things were going to go back to normal. Nothing was normal anymore. And we needed to stop all this—everything. But I just couldn't make that promise.

"No."

"Kotone, come on. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't."

I figured it was better for me to succumb than to get into another fight. Silver sounded so damn annoyed and tired that if I tried to fight any further, he would be the one to walk off. So, I nodded, actually managing to close that distance between us. Then, wrapping my arms around him, his body stiffening, I leaned my head against his chest and cried.

Because I really wanted to stop, too.

* * *

"_Please, take a seat."_

_It was the same thing every time. Each time I walked into the little office, the doctor said the same thing. _Please, take a seat. Please sit down. _As though this was something casual, something that was supposed to be happening to me. That was why I hated doctors. They had all begun to think this was easy, normal, a natural thing. But this was the most unnatural thing in the world. Nothing that was happening right now was easy or normal or natural. It was hard, painful, something that should never have happened._

"_All right," the doctor started, flipping through the random paperwork attached to his clipboard. I wanted to rip it out of his hands and throw it against the wall. But when had I started having those feelings? I never used to be so angry all the time. I never used to be so miserable, so unhappy, and I wanted to go back to how I used to be. I wanted to be myself again, not some mutated version of me. Because whatever had changed in me wasn't who I really was. I was the Champion of the Johto and Kanto regions._

"_Let's see…" There was a pregnant pause, and I felt Hibiki squeeze my hand reassuringly. But there was nothing reassuring about being in this office. "So, Miss… Kotone." The doctor glanced up at me through his thick glasses, his eyes magnified to a few times their normal size. "It appears to me that you have been to several other doctors with no luck." He flipped through the paperwork again before staring at me with those abnormally large eyes once more. "No one seems to know what the problem is."_

_Obviously. I wouldn't be in this office if I knew what was wrong with me, would I? I kept my mouth shut, despite my urge to yell at the doctor. This was going to be a complete failure; I could already tell. If the doctor kept this stupidity up, I was going to end up dead before he even got to the tests. All this random testing was probably killing me, anyway. None of the doctors knew what the hell they were doing._

_As though sensing my distress, Hibiki rubbed the top of my hand with his thumb, trying to calm me down. I had to admit, I was thankful that he and Silver were there with me. Hibiki, on my left, was the sensitive, sympathetic one, the one who was so good at pretending that he understood what I was going to that I sometimes believed it. Silver, meanwhile, was the straightforward kind of guy, the one who demanded answers from the doctors when he and I both knew that we weren't going to get them._

"_We were hoping you could help us. The last doctor recommended you. He said you specialized in this kind of stuff," Silver said, and I rolled my eyes. The last doctor knew nothing. So, how was he even qualified to recommend anyone else? It was just a money-making thing, anyway. They didn't have to tell me what was wrong. They didn't even have to try to figure it out. They still got paid._

"_Yes, I've been looking over the symptoms that have written down on this file, and I think I might be able to help you." The doctor flipped, once again, through his paperwork. He avoided my eyes whenever possible, I had noticed, looking at either the paperwork or Silver or Hibiki. But when, in one of those rare moments, he caught my eye, he turned away so quickly that it was like he never even had. I didn't know what his problem was, but I did not like this man._

"_All right, so let us review these symptoms just for a moment. It says here that you have been having trouble breathing. Can you elaborate on your troubles? Has your breathing rate… slowed? Or maybe accelerated? It does not appear to me that you show signs of labored breathing because you appear to be quite fine now, though perhaps it is under different circumstances. Perhaps dyspnea or hyperpnoea?" The doctor chuckled a little, and I glanced at Hibiki. Was this comical? "Well, Kotone, we're just going to run a few tests and see what's going on. It also says that you have acquired a perpetual fever, occasional pruritus, and severe weight loss. We will look at all of that, as well. Now, if you would just come with me…"_

_He stood, expecting me to rise as well, but I remained seated for a moment. I had a few options here: I could get up and go with the doctor, allowing my body to be a living experiment, only to get the results I had already received: none; I could get up and sprint away from here, though I was sure my lungs would collapse before I got very far; or I could sit here and make everyone drag me out. I was tempted to go with the last option, to fight to the finish, to fight the power, but I felt my legs bend and force me up. My heart was all for answers._

_And as I walked out of the room, I stared back at Silver and Hibiki, hoping that one of them would save me from myself. Because I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take._

_

* * *

_

"_Hello, this is Doctor Sasaki calling. May I speak to Kotone?"_

"_Speaking." I moved the phone to my other ear, using my shoulder to keep it in place, so I could resume writing a letter to my mother. I wasn't overly concerned with this phone call. It would just be the same thing as always. Nothing new, nothing interesting. I could completely zone out on this phone call and still know everything he wanted to tell me. No big deal._

"_I have some bad news here." The doctor paused, and I heard papers flipping—even when he wasn't with me, he still needed that damn clipboard. "This disease is unlike anything I am used to dealing with. You may count me with the group of doctors who could not diagnose you. However, I would like to clarify some of your symptoms and work with you from there. If you can get rid of the symptoms, the chances of your living longer may increase dramatically."_

"_Uh-huh," I agreed, though I wasn't really paying attention._

"_All right, so your breathing trouble appears to be dyspnea, and this seems to be triggered when you are under a great deal of stress or when you overwork your body. So, your best bet would be to avoid any and all stress—this will help you in more than one way, guaranteed. The fever, on the other hand, is still a mystery to me. I have no idea where it comes from. Several of the other symptoms were already discussed with you, correct? You know what the other doctors told you?"_

"_Yep," I muttered, popping the 'p' and smiling. I wondered if the doctor could tell that I wasn't taking this seriously at all._

"_I have prescribed you some medicine to take care of some of those symptoms, Miss Kotone. The directions are all on the bottles you will receive. If you could pick up those prescriptions next Tuesday, they will be ready then. You should start taking them immediately, and hopefully you will feel much better. I cannot say that this will rid you of your disease, but you will be more comfortable. All right?"_

_I sighed, scratching out a word in my letter. Well, that was new, at least. No doctor had prescribed me any medicine, yet. And, I had to admit, that seemed like an obvious thing—so, at least this doctor had the common sense to do something like this._

"_I have to tell you, Kotone." The doctor paused, and I could hear him swallow. "You probably won't live to be more than thirty at the rate this disease is moving. Your lungs have already been severely affected by this—all I can do is give you medicine to help calm everything. But… I apologize. If we knew what this was, we would be able to help you, I'm sure. But, please, stop into the office whenever you want. I would be happy to see you."_

_The phone clicked, and I knew Doctor Sasaki had ended the phone call. Thirty? That was it? That was all he expected? Then what good would the medicine do? Why even bother? The other doctors had all told me forty or fifty, at least… that I would live life, at least for a little while. But thirty? That was nothing. That was soon._

_When Hibiki took me to pick up my medicine, I felt bitter, angry, and lonely. How had I ended up being so pathetic when I had started so high? I supposed, at least, that I had gotten all of the good stuff out of the way first. At least I had become Champion early. At least I had some wonderful friends. At least I made it this far. But I couldn't help but feel a little alone—no one understood._

"_Read the instructions. Make sure you take each of those every day. But, see, this one is a morning one, and this one is a nighttime one. So, make sure you keep that straight," Hibiki advised, pointing to the labels as he organized the bottles in my bathroom. Putting the last one in place, he smiled. "There."_

"_Thanks." I returned his smile, though mine wasn't nearly as genuine as his. "I think I'll just look at when I need to take these. You can go do whatever, okay?" And he nodded, looking so sure, so proud of me._

_But as soon as he left, I opened all the bottles and flushed their contents down the toilet._

_

* * *

_

When I woke up, dripping with sweat, I felt so upset that I couldn't even look at Silver. I didn't want to cloud his peaceful sleeping vision with my attitude. Everything just seemed to be going so wrong… how could I have let this happen? How had I let Asa get away in the first place? How could I have messed this whole thing up with Silver?

Silver…

Getting up, I reached into my backpack, grabbing a little piece of paper and a pen. Scribbling a quick message down on it, I sighed, dropping the pen and paper on the ground. This was stupid. What did I think I was doing, anyway?

But I still left the tent, walking to Arceus-knows-where. I just wanted some time to myself. I just needed to breathe.

And it was getting harder all the time.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Is it just me, or was this chapter super angsty? Like, more angsty than normal? Because I think it was. I feel like such a weirdo writing something so... dark. But, at the same time, I kind of like this. I am not sure how many of you would guess, but I am the biggest Goody-Two-Shoes in the entire world (well, maybe not the whole world, but... close!). And I am so… not angsty... But that is just part of the fun, I guess. I enjoy the challenge. :)

Anyway, things slowed down in this chapter a bit. I mean, things still happened, and you learned a little more about Kotone's character, but... I dunno. I have no idea what the heck I am trying to say! LOL.

I love A/Ns. Just saying. XD

Disclaimer: No Pokemon for me... again.


	8. Gone

**Chapter Eight – Gone**

I had discovered this little field after I left the tent, stumbling upon it rather accidentally. My feet were just moving; I didn't necessarily care where I was going, I just wanted to go. But when I found this tiny field of flora, I stopped, feeling a strange sense of nostalgia, though I knew I had never been there before and had no connection to it. But the nostalgia stuck to me, lingering in my chest like a sob waiting to break free.

And then it did. I sat down in the field, curling up, head on my knees, and sighed. Despite all this, I still felt calmer than I had in weeks. My lungs felt fine, my fever wasn't burning with the intensity it had before… everything felt normal. Though, of course, it was not. This was just a fluke.

"Meganium… come on out…" I reached into my bag and pulled out Meganium's Poké Ball, sending out my first Pokémon. Putting the Ball back into my bag as Meganium flopped on the ground beside me, not wanting to be alone but not wanting to be with anyone else. No one, or no person, needed to be with me right now. I was fine being with Meganium and my other Pokémon, just like it had been before.

_Exactly_ like it had been before…

Who was I kidding? This wasn't my life anymore—this peace and quiet and normality. I hadn't known any of those for quite some time. Even the way people treated me wasn't "normal" anymore, though I wondered if I could even remembered what that was like. I never grew up living like a normal girl. Maybe when I was younger, but I couldn't even remember that.

Since I had become Champion, people looked up to me, gave me things I didn't deserve, looked at me like I was important. I wasn't just a normal teenager or young adult… I was a leader. I had been for over a decade, and, honestly, that was all I could remember now. I didn't know how to be a normal person—but I still was "Champion Kotone", whether ex or not. I wouldn't get my normality back, just what I was used to.

Ha. I almost forgot. Just for a split second. _Just what I was used to_. Well, that and being sick. The peace in this field would be left here, even after getting my title back from Asa. I would be Champion again, sure, but I would still be sick. That wasn't going away any time soon, even though it felt like it now. All this was… it was just a trick, my mind fooling myself into believing that I was fine, when I so clearly wasn't.

I stood up, looking around the field. Meganium stirred beside me, its eyes closed like it was sleeping. Even the field gave my Meganium a sense of peace; it probably liked being out of its Poké Ball. Ever since I had gotten sick, none of my Pokémon got much time to be outside, but I was hoping they all understood. Jolteon hadn't seemed angry at me that time in the woods. It still did everything I said without a problem.

That said, I still felt bad about the whole situation. I never meant for them to get caught up in this mess, to be the ones harmed by my own problem, but I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't expect Hibiki to care for my Pokémon every single day; they came out only to be fed and quickly play around, but their time outside their Balls was brief. Very brief.

I touched Meganium's head, and it opened its eyes, looking at me with such a beautiful expression. Perhaps all of my Pokémon did understand. Maybe they just wanted to help me.

Then, falling to the ground once more, I hugged Meganium, hoping that, even if it didn't understand, it would forgive me for everything. I hadn't been the best trainer in the world—I was hypocritical to think that Asa had a lot to learn; I had much more to learn, as well. But all of this was a learning experience. Life was one, wasn't it?

Hearing the crunching of the grass and flowers behind me, I smiled. "Did you get my note, then, Silver?" I asked, rising to my feet again and turning around, the smile falling off my lips. But my legs suddenly felt like jelly, like there were no bones or muscles helping me stand, and I fell back down. My heart beat rose so quickly that my chest hurt, and I tried to control my breathing before it got out of hand, though I could tell it already was.

"That was so touching! You're such a girl." Asa shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked out further into the field, looking down at me. Then, running a hand through his dark hair, he sighed, stopping a few feet away from me. "I have to admit, you have a good relationship with your Pokémon. They love you—your Jolteon, your Meganium. And they're very strong, too." He paused, looking at me with a weird expression. "Too bad you're not."

"Shut up!" I screamed, forcing myself to my feet and reaching out to Asa, wanting to get rid of him, destroy him. But he just took a step back as I fell again, coughing into the ground. My Meganium had risen to its feet, waiting for any command; perhaps I had trained it _too_ well. Now it waited for commands—but I couldn't give them.

Then, something clicked in my head, and I stared up at Asa, my eyes narrowed into such tiny slits that I could only see his face. "You're the one who followed me that time in the woods. You're the one who was trying to scare me. Why were you following me? What was the point? I was just trying to find you—but you had fallen behind me. I would have kept going, you know."

He smiled, a cocky grin suitable for the personality I disliked more and more with each second. "I didn't fall behind you. I was just taking a break. Believe me, Kotone," he hissed, and I was disgusted by his saying my name, "it is phenomenally easy to pass you. You move at a snail's pace. Then again, I suppose that can't be helped. You are… _sick_." He coughed, one of those fake girly ones, and proceeded to laugh at me.

Man, I wanted to battle him and get my title back.

"You're hilarious…" I reached into my pocket, pulling out the lanyard. "Hey, by the way, nice fire you started. But you left some evidence." I dangled it in my fingers, and his eyes widened, but not with shock or regret or anything like that. Something else flashed through his eyes, and I pulled the lanyard back, stuffing it into my pocket once more, utterly confused by what I just saw. I had no idea what was happening.

"Oh, no big deal. You can keep that, okay? I don't want it back now that you've touched it. Your illness might be contagious." He laughed again, running a hand through his hair once more. "Still, it's funny that we met up here. I found this place when I was twelve. My mom had given me my first Pokémon—my Growlithe—and I wanted to come train it. Then, I found this place! Nice, right? But I've never seen anyone else here until now."

I immediately took back all thoughts I had about this place feeling peaceful and quiet and normal. Because now it felt dirty, evil, anything but normal. And now that I knew Asa had claimed this spot as his own, I didn't want to be affiliated with it anymore. I felt disgusting touching the ground that Asa had walked on, but I couldn't get up. I wouldn't… not again.

"Asa, I want to battle. We need to have a fair fight—one that I don't pass out during. Do you really feel that you deserve to be Champion when you didn't actually win the battle? You got lucky. That's all you did. So, come on, right here, battle me. We can see who really deserves to be the Champion, okay?" I sat on my knees, preparing to fight from the ground, snapping my fingers. My Meganium jumped up, looking ready.

But Asa didn't move. He looked so careless, so indifferent, and finally, after a moment, he just shrugged. "Not right now."

"What?" I demanded, gritting my teeth. As a Champion, he couldn't deny a battle—though he could put it off, which was exactly what he was doing. What if he kept pushing it off? What if I never became Champion again? I hadn't been expecting this. But as just a trainer, not a Champion, I had to listen to him. I couldn't force him to battle, however much I wanted to. I had to uphold my diminishing honor.

"Not. Right. Now." Then, he smiled, shoving his hands back in his pockets. "I don't want to battle right now. Get over it. Oh—" He looked over his shoulder, and I glanced with him, seeing Silver enter the field. "Look who's here. Is this chump your boyfriend? Really, Kotone, I always thought you'd go with a good boy, someone who would listen to all of your orders. Huh, but… you know, it kind of looks like you've got him wrapped around your finger, anyway."

"Silver!" I called out, and he ran over to me, brushing right past Asa and helping me stand. I half expected him to take Asa out on his way over to me, but I suspected he knew he would get in serious trouble if he knocked out a fifteen-year-old boy. That sort of self-control was amazing; the only reason I had any self-control was because I wasn't physically able to do anything. Pity.

"You leave him alone, Asa." Meganium walked over to my side, eyes narrowed at Asa. "He has nothing to do with this. It's just you and me. Don't ever bring him up again, got it? Or else—"

"Or else what? What could you possibly do to me? You're weak. You're dying. Heck, you can't even stand by yourself anymore." Asa smiled, that same stupid cocky smile, and laughed once more. "I would love to see what you could possibly do… it would be hilarious." Then, looking at Silver, he laughed again. "Man, she _does_ have you wrapped around her finger. You know, that's just sad. What kind of man are you?"

Silver's body tensed, and I squeezed his shoulder, trying to help keep him in control. Because while I didn't mind getting in trouble, I would mind if Silver did. I didn't want him to do anything he would regret later.

Asa must have noticed this, since he removed his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms instead, looking annoyed. "This is boring," he said, shaking his head. "I was hoping to see some arguing, some breaking up. I mean, come on, no man wants to listen to his girl, right? They want to be free. Isn't she limiting you? Seriously, you had to follow her all this way. And she's been holding the reins this whole time. So… what happens when she doesn't need you anymore? She's just dispose of you, right?"

"Hey, stop it! You don't know anything!" I yelled, but Asa just rolled his eyes.

"Be quiet. You're too loud." Asa looked more annoyed than ever, rubbing one of his temples. "You're making this so not fun. I was hoping it would get even more exciting once this guy arrived, but… well, he's no fun. Come on! Where's the fighting? Do you not mind being under her control? That's just sad. You're not a real man at all. I'm only fifteen, and I'm more of a man than you are. How pathetic is that?"

My hands curled into fists, and it was getting hard not to break out of Silver's grasp. "Why are you such a jerk? Why do you do this?"

Asa shrugged, turning around and walking a few steps away. I wondered if he was just putting distance between us… or maybe he was just a coward. Then, pulling a Poké Ball off his belt, he threw it up in the air, a Rapidash popping out of it. Putting the Ball back on his belt, he looked at me, a smile on his face once more.

Finally!

"Meganium, go! Petal Dance!" I pointed forward, and Meganium hurried forward, ready to attack. But I had missed something. Asa wasn't battling. He didn't want to. This was just a trick. How had I fallen for it?

Asa had climbed onto his Rapidash so fast that I had barely noticed. And in an instant, he was gone, leaving nothing but the smoky smell of his Rapidash behind. He had left, escaped, and I had been so close to becoming Champion again. I had been _so close_! How had I allowed this to happen? How had I allowed myself to be tricked?

Just like that, he was gone.

Again.

"I was right," I muttered, and I felt Silver's eyes on me, though I wouldn't look at him. "Asa had been the one to follow me in the woods. I still don't really understand why… he wouldn't give me an answer. But I was right. So… it _has_ been Asa all along. Doing everything. Oh my gosh, how could I be so stupid? This kid is a freaking genius!"

"Genius?" Silver looked skeptical. "More like evil mastermind."

"Either way… this kid is a lot smarter than we gave him credit for. And we need to get rid of him. Having someone like that as Champion is dangerous. As long as Asa doesn't remain Champion, I'll be happy. It's my duty as ex-Champion of the Johto and Kanto regions to make sure that the title is held by an honorable person."

I looked at Silver, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the lanyard again. "And thanks," I said, just a general thanks for everything.

And he just nodded before walking back towards the tent. "You're welcome."

* * *

**Author's Note: **(Sorry for the long A/N.)

I have to say, I'm surprised no one has picked Asa as their favorite character in my poll. XD Just kidding, I didn't expect anyone to. ESPECIALLY after this chapter. I mean, I'm thinking that if you didn't hate Asa yet, now you do. Right? :D

I need a new poll. I was considering asking who the least favorite character was, but I think that should be obvious, yes? I shall think about it. First, a quick, impromptu poll that has nothing to do with anything: _do you actually read A/Ns?_

BTW, I really wish I could respond to anonymous reviews! I feel bad when I can't. And it's not the place to respond within an A/N, so, I suppose I'll leave it.

I must say, though, that this is one of the hardest fanfictions I have ever written. The characterization is incredibly difficult (my weakest point—and it doesn't help that a lot of this is very stream of consciousness-ish), the plot is hard to write well, and I sometimes feel uncomfortable writing stuff like this. I apologize for any and all egregious errors (or just things that bother you). But please know this… I'm still an experimental writer. I write for fun, and if stuff happens to get published (and it has), then great. Any imperfections are just learning tools for me. Please remember, I am only eighteen. I may have taken college-level writing courses already, but my writing still has an incredible amount of room for improvement. If you have ANY complaints (constructive, please—no flaming), I want to know. How else can I improve?

And, my flaws in writing aside, everything else is part of the plan. I don't write blindly. Keep that in mind. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Pokemon related.


	9. Done

**Chapter Nine – Done**

As Silver and I walked together through the next town, stopping briefly to buy some more food, I couldn't help but think that my behavior thus far had been immature. Maybe Asa had been right when he said I had Silver wrapped around my finger. Honestly, Silver did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, making no complaint of it. So, perhaps Asa hit the nail right on the head, and I was the villain here.

I had been completely selfish thus far. How dare I take advantage of Silver's kindness like this? Everything I did (i.e. my whining, my complaining, my passing out) was out of line. Sure, I couldn't necessarily control all of it, like the passing out, but most of that was triggered by incessant stress on my part, stress that I had caused on my own. I made a big deal out of small things, and I probably added so much stress to Silver's life, too. The two of us were just tanks of stress ready to burst, mine just general annoyances caused by my own stupidity, his just my stress moving onto him.

It wasn't just that, either. It wasn't just my selfish attitude or my immature behavior affecting Silver. I was sure that I had caused trouble for people all over the place. Like Hayato, for example, and Hibiki. The two of them went out of their way to make sure I was okay. But did I act grateful? Yes, I might have thanked them. But I never did anything to make it up to them. I never did a single thing to make up for their time spent. Because they weren't getting that time back.

And poor Hibiki. He had spent so much of his life dealing with me. We started rooming together when we were eighteen, and we had practically been inseparable ever since—especially since I got sick. No wonder he wanted to send me off with Silver. It wasn't so he could take care of the house; it was to get away from me.

Who could blame him? I wasn't the best roommate in the entire world, and I never had been. Ever since we began rooming together, I had strangers go out of their way to find our house just to battle me. Random people who we had to accommodate just because I was Champion. And I was so selfish, caught up in being the Champion, that I completely ignored Hibiki's feelings on the matter. I loved being the Champion. I really did. But Hibiki probably hated it, and I imagined he was probably thankful that I no longer was.

That didn't mean I wouldn't still try to get my title back. Yes, I knew how much I was hurting everyone by going on this journey, and yes, I knew how much Hibiki probably wanted me to just forget about being Champion. But I realized my flaws, right? So, couldn't I make myself a better Champion after getting my title back? I wouldn't be the same person after this adventure, that was for sure.

I had to admit, it bothered me a little that Asa was the one to make me realize all of this. But, at the same time, I was so thankful that he had. If he hadn't pointed out how much control I had over Silver, I honestly would not have noticed. And I saw that Silver never denied it. So, how was that fair? Did he just expect me to continue walking all over him, no questions asked. And if so, why? I didn't understand.

Maybe Asa was right. About everything.

"Excuse me, Miss, excuse me!" I looked up, seeing a young man, possibly in his teens, waving at me. Silver and I had just entered the next town, and it was nearing dusk. Knowing Asa wasn't far ahead of us, and knowing that he would most likely pull some stunt that would bring him back to us, we were going to stop in the Pokémon Center for the night. I wasn't particularly concerned with keeping up with Asa anymore; something in my gut told me I would see him again soon, anyway.

But this guy seemed to want to speak with us—or, rather, me—before we could even get to the Pokémon Center. I glanced back at Silver, who just shrugged like he could care less, and then returned my gaze to the awkward boy. He continued waving at me, and it wasn't until I waved back that he stopped. It was all I could do to not look at Silver again and beg him to take me past this boy. I was confused enough as it was.

"Excuse me, Miss!" he shouted again, despite the fact that I was about two feet away from him. "Are you Champion Kotone?" I nodded, raising my eyebrows. I wasn't surprised that he knew me—I was surprised that he was alone. "Leader Matsuba said that you would be coming through here shortly. He would like for you to come to the gym, now, if it is all right with you, Miss? He would have come to get you himself, but he has a guest…"

"Matsuba!" I had stopped listening after the boy said Matsuba's name. It had been a long while since I had seen him… perhaps the last time was even before I got sick. "Oh, please, take me to him! I don't mind at all. It's been quite some time, I would love to catch up with him." Then, I paused, registering what the boy said. "But if he has a guest, why would he want me to come to the gym now?"

The boy just smiled at me and started leading me to the gym, pretending that he didn't hear me, when I clearly could see that he had. Something in my gut, though I couldn't tell just what it was, felt wrong. Oh, I didn't doubt that this boy was taking me to Matsuba. But there was something else that was bothering me. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

Yet when we entered the gym, and I saw who was standing beside Matsuba, I could tell exactly why I had that feeling. I gaped, and I felt Silver stiffen beside me, like this was some big shock. It wasn't a surprise, really… not when I put all the pieces together. And I figured that I would be seeing more and more of this kid after the latest episode in the field.

"Hey, Kotone! How's it going?" Asa asked, waving with the same enthusiasm as the boy who brought us here. I could tell that he was making fun of the kid, but the poor boy didn't seem to even notice. So, I just narrowed my eyes, putting my hands on my hips and stopping short in the doorway. I wasn't walking any closer if Asa was there; Matsuba would have to come to me if he wanted to talk, or perhaps he could just shout like this immature teenager.

But, being the mature man Matsuba was, he came over to me, reaching for my hand and bestowing a kiss on it (all the while Asa wolf-whistled). "It is wonderful, as always, to see you, Kotone. It has been too long." Turning to Silver, he bowed, looking much less thrilled to see him than he had to see me. "Welcome."

"Matsuba, I don't mean to sound rude, but what is Asa doing here?" Actually, I did mean to sound rude, but it wasn't directed at Matsuba. I was just hoping that Asa would hear me and be a little insulted. When I glanced over at him, though, he just smirked and waved obnoxiously again. That kid had some serious psychological dysfunctions.

"Well…" Matsuba glanced back over at Asa, and Asa immediately ceased waving, putting on a straight face. "I have a feeling he's going around to all of the Gym Leaders and telling them that he's the new Champion, that he _beat_ you. Which…" He stared back at me, and I nodded. "Well, I guess that's true."

"Technically," Silver inputted, and Matsuba looked at him, a question mark on his face. "Kotone passed out in the middle of the battle because the kid was tormenting her. She's ailing, and he goes out of his way to bother her." He pauses, his voice rising dangerously, and takes a deep breath. "Well, technically, she was winning the battle, but because she fainted, she was unable to battle. And so he won and became the Champion, however unfair it was."

"But why is he still here? He's obviously told you. So, why doesn't he leave?" I returned my gaze to Asa, and for a moment—a brief moment that seemed so surreal that I couldn't believe it even happened—he looked so much like a normal fifteen-year-old; he looked bored, innocent, lonely, and just so vulnerable. But in an instant, as soon as he caught my eye, it disappeared, and a glimmer of regret flickered on his face, like he was embarrassed that I had seen that vulnerability, before returning to the smirk I had grown accustom to. But that vulnerability… there was something to it, and…

Wait, was I feeling _sorry_ for Asa?

_Maybe Asa was right_.

"He was waiting for you to come. He's the one who told me that you would be coming through here in a little while, so I sent Ken to go wait for you." He pointed over to the boy from early, who smiled at the attention. "I think he wanted you verify that what he was saying was true because, I have to admit, I didn't believe him. Doesn't really seem like the type that would actually beat you… I never thought anyone would, actually."

"Yeah," I muttered, shrugging, "well, things change."

Matsuba, Silver, and I stood silently for a moment, all glancing between each other, waiting for something to happen. Finally, Matsuba sighed, shaking his head. "I must say, this boy does not look familiar to me. Kotone, do you know if Asa has ever taken the League challenge? Has he ever fought any of the Gym Leaders, or did he go straight for you? Because I am positive that I have never fought him."

I _didn't_ know. Asa had never mentioned anything of the sort, but Hayato didn't seem all that well-acquainted with Asa, either. But it didn't really make a difference—so long as he beat me, which he technically did, he was still the Champion. He didn't have to battle the Gym Leaders to be officially Champion. That was only necessary to go to the Indigo Plateau. But since I was at home when he found me…

"Well, it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to beat the Gym Leaders, Matsuba." I bit my lip, trying to think of something. But… the answer was so very obvious. "He's weak. Asa isn't a very powerful trainer at all, and he has very little experience. I was beating him, and he had the type advantage. I mean, I know I'm the Champion, and I'm _supposed_ to be good… but he didn't have a good relationship with his Pokémon." I stared at Matsuba, begging, pleading, hoping that he would help me. "Matsuba, I want you to challenge him. You could easily defeat him. He won't battle me, I've already tried asking. But he might battle you. Then, you could be Champion. As long as Asa isn't, I don't care who is. And you would be a great Champion."

When I first mentioned it, he looked unsure, but after thinking about it, glancing between Asa and me, he nodded. "Fine, I will challenge him." And with that, he walked back over to Asa, who looked so terribly bored once again.

"Asa, I challenge you to a battle. Do you accept?"

Asa looked so excited that I wondered how bored he really was. He didn't seem all that thrilled at my demand to battle. And I was even more surprised how quickly he accepted Matsuba's challenge. There was a new hop in his step as he and Matsuba went out to the stadium, while Silver and I climbed into the stands to watch. I was seriously hoping that this would be a quick battle. I couldn't handle any suspense tonight.

"All right, this will be a quick three-on-three battle! No switching is allowed!" Matsuba called, and Asa nodded. He looked a little cocky, but Matsuba was in much better shape than I was. Asa couldn't get lucky and make Matsuba faint. He would actually have to try.

"Go, Arcanine!"

"Come on, Gengar!"

There was no type advantage here, and even when Asa had the type advantage over me, he couldn't beat my Meganium. Sure, I was a lot stronger than Matsuba, and I had beaten him many times. But there was no way that Matsuba could lose.

So, when Arcanine took out Gengar, I was completely flabbergasted.

"That's all right, Gengar. You take it, Dusknoir!" Matsuba didn't look phased by his Gengar's defeat, but I was shocked enough for the two of us. And when Arcanine took out Dusknoir, too, I was even more shocked.

And Matsuba's shock was clearly displayed on his face, as well.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded, looking at Silver as though he could give me the answer. But he was staring out at the field, watching as Matsuba sent out his final Pokémon, Mismagius. I was feeling uncomfortable now, moving around in my seat because I could not settle down. It wasn't until Silver put a hand on my shoulder that I stopped moving, and even then, I kept tapping my feet against the ground out of pure nervousness.

"Mismagius, use Hypnosis!" The Mismagius wasn't nearly as fast as Arcanine, but the attack hit square on. Arcanine froze in its spot, completely taken over by Mismagius' attack. "Now, use Dream Eater!"

"Arcanine, Sleep Talk!" Asa called, and the Arcanine rose to its feet, sending out a blast of fire to wherever it could, thrashing about with its flame blowing at full force. And as soon as I saw it near Mismagius, mid-attack, I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see this; I didn't want to believe it. But as Mismagius fell to the ground, so completely unable to battle, I opened my eyes and shook my head. That didn't—couldn't have—just happened.

_Maybe Asa was right._

"I win!" Asa declared, pretending to dust off his hands and looking over at me with that same smirk on his face.

"Silver… please tell me what just happened…" I looked over at Silver, only to find him in the same state of shock that I was.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I stayed up late writing this, everyone. I might be tired on my trip tomorrow, but I wanted to make sure I got this out, even if it was an update immediately after a previous one. But I'm going to Canada tomorrow morning for a few days, so I probably won't have another update for a week (probably a little less but better safe than sorry).

And I'm sorry this update is a little shorter. I guess it just worked out that way… just the way I cut it off. Because this'll carry over to the next chapter, and… I dunno. None of you probably care all that much. XD

So, have a great weekend everyone! I shall update in a few days! (I'll try to write while I'm in Canada, but don't hate me if I don't—I'm there for vacation! :D).

Disclaimer: Would you really want me to own anything Pokemon-related? I didn't think so. It wouldn't be nearly so fun. Just look at my lame battle scenes! XD


	10. Man

**Chapter Ten – Man**

I stood up from the stands, running down to the field as Matsuba reached a hand out to Asa, losing gracefully. Asa stared at the hand for moments, but just as Matsuba started to pull away, Asa gripped it, shaking it like the gentleman I knew he was not. Even Matsuba appeared surprised by this action, like he had anticipated Asa's cheek instead of his charm, but a tiny smile grew on his face as he said something to Asa.

… I didn't understand.

But as Asa laughed and said something in return, the corner of his eye looking in my direction, I knew that Matsuba thought I was mistaken. He didn't believe us. Not after that battle, not after shaking hands with Asa. Even though he had known me longer, a decade or more, even though he knew Silver (despite seeming to not particularly like him)… he chose Asa. Even though he _knew_ me, he still chose Asa, not me.

So, as I walked out onto the field, trying to keep my temper under control—trying to remain the mature one here—I headed for Matsuba, not Asa, directing all of my pain and anger at him. Because there was no reason for him to pick Asa. I never lied. I never cheated. I never stole anything. I never tormented people just because I found it amusing. Asa was the one who had done all of that. Not me. So, how could Matsuba not believe me?

"He cheated!" I yelled, pointing at Asa but shouting at Matsuba. His eyes flickered towards mine for a moment before returning to Asa, and I noted the regret lingering in them. Regret for what, I wasn't particularly sure. "There is no way that this… _boy_ could have won a battle against a Gym Leader like you without cheating. He was nowhere near that skill level when I battled him. I took out his Arcanine in seconds!"

Matsuba sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, while Asa crossed his arms, looking more annoyed than anything. "Kotone," Matsuba started, "I think you need to rest. You're getting too worked up about this. Asa won fair and square. He is a lot more powerful than I think you give him credit for. You may have been able to take out his Arcanine…" He paused, looking at me with pained eyes. "But he won the battle, didn't he? He's the new Champion. I would be worried if he didn't beat me."

"What?" I turned back to face Silver, who had followed me into the arena. "Silver, are you hearing this?" I put my face in my hand, closing my eyes and trying to think, but nothing was coming to me. "Matsuba, he's only Champion because he won the battle by taking advantage of my illness. There was no strength to it. I would have won the battle. I would still be Champion. I would have won against you just then without having to cheat. 'Fair and square', my ass. There is no way he won that fair and square." Then, lifting my head, I turned to Asa. "How did you win that?"

Asa shrugged, all three sets of eyes on him. "Same way I always do."

"So, you did cheat?" I smirked, gesturing to Asa as I turned my eyes back on Matsuba. But he didn't look very convinced. "Oh, come on. Are you trying to tell me that Asa, the boy who _stole_ my title from me, the boy who set fire to a forest, the boy who stalks me in the middle of the freaking woods, the boy who is too scared to battle me because he know he'd lose, won that battle without cheating? I mean, that's ridiculous. It doesn't even sound plausible."

"I don't _stalk_ you," Asa said, rolling his eyes as if this was some boring conversation. "And what the heck do you think I've been doing? I've been training, Kotone. Just because I beat Matsuba, here, does not mean that I cheated to do it. I trained. Hard. I have been training since the moment I _beat_ you. Because when we finally battle, I am going to win for sure. There is no way you'll ever beat me. What you saw just now is only a preview."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. This whole conversation was just stupid. There was no way Asa would ever be able to beat me. And if this was a preview, then I knew exactly what to expect when we finally did battle (and, I had to admit, I was glad to hear Asa say that we would). None of Asa's silly tricks would get the best of me when we battled. That Arcanine—

_Arcanine_. _Growlithe._

Maybe Asa _had_ won the battle without training. Maybe I was just being completely immature. There was something special about that Arcanine. Sure, I had taken it out with my Meganium easily, no problem, but Asa did say he had been training. And Matsuba was significantly weaker than I was. And my Meganium was a hundred times stronger than any of Matsuba's Pokémon. We had a bond together that no one else had.

Except maybe Asa with his Arcanine.

"Asa, I apologize." I could feel Silver move closer to me, and I could feel everyone's eyes on me, even though I could only look at Asa, his young features seeming even younger with the surprise on his face. "I understand now that you did win fair and square. That Arcanine of yours… it evolved from a Growlithe, which was, no doubt, the one you received from your mother?" This was more of a statement than a question; I knew that I was correct. "This Arcanine was your first Pokémon."

Asa glanced down at the Ball in his left hand that now held his Pokémon. Something passed through his face, lingering even as he nodded. "Yeah, he was my first. And, yeah, my mom gave him to me… for my twelfth birthday. That was when I found that field and started training him. I evolved it into Arcanine only recently. Right before I battled you, actually."

_That was why he lost so easily to my Meganium_.

"You really love your Arcanine." I smiled, thinking of my Meganium. I knew how Asa felt. Like my Meganium was more than just a Pokémon, more than just a tool for battling. We didn't battle together for the hell of it. We battled because we were connected, bonded, and feeling that rush of battle was something we enjoyed together. I loved my Meganium, too. And I knew Asa felt that same connection, bond, rush with his Arcanine.

Asa smiled, too, cradling the Ball between both of his hands now. "Yeah." I was getting to him, reaching that part of him that I had seen before: the boyish, vulnerable part. I knew a certain redhead that was just like him once. And I was just like him now. "I do. And I loved him as Growlithe, too. But we both wanted to be stronger to defeat you."

I nodded. "I know." Then, taking a deep breath, I took my eyes off of his Arcanine and stared right into his eyes. "Asa, you would have lost the battle to Matsuba if you had used any other Pokémon. Isn't that right?"

"What? No way! I still would have won. I was training all of my other Pokémon, too!" And just like that, after working so hard to get deeper into Asa's mind, I was tossed right back out, prevented from moving any further. But I had gotten enough insight to know the truth. He would have lost. Arcanine was his first choice every time. If he couldn't win with it, he couldn't win at all. It was the same way with my Meganium.

"No," I said, calmly, quietly, "you wouldn't have. If your Arcanine had lost to any of Matsuba's Pokémon, you would have lost the whole battle. Because you have something with your Arcanine that I haven't seen with your Rapidash—and I've never seen you use any other Pokémon. Your Arcanine is your only hope. And the only reason he is…" I paused, wondering if I was going too far. "… Is because of your mother."

"You don't know what you're talking about." He glanced around the group, eyes darting from Matsuba to me to Silver and back to Matsuba, like he was begging for something. "You have no idea what the hell you're talking about. I could win with any of my Pokémon. This woman is _really_ sick. She's delusional!"

"I'm not delusional, but you are right about one thing: I don't know what I'm talking about. I know nothing about your mother. I don't know a single thing. And, honestly, all of this has been just my guessing. I don't know anything for sure. But… there's just something about your Arcanine. He's very special to you. And it's not because he was your first Pokémon. It was because your mother gave him to you. So, why is she so important?"

"Shut up! My mom has nothing to do with this!"

I noticed Asa's eyes, sparkling with something that looked an awful lot like tears. "But she does. Or else you wouldn't be getting so worked up about this. Asa…" I sighed, feeling terribly torn and conflicted. I hated him. I more than hated him. I _despised_ Asa. He had done terrible things to me, and I really, seriously, _hated_ him. And a part of me enjoyed this. But another part of me, the one that knew pain, just couldn't. "What happened?"

"You. Don't. Know. _Anything_." Asa clutched the Poké Ball in one hand again, looking shaken, but he still managed a glare at me. "Leave me alone."

He started to run out of the gym, but I wasn't done here. I was far from it. Looking at Matsuba, I gave him an apologetic look—though, deep down, I was anything but apologetic—and followed after Asa. I didn't even feel like my lungs were burning until I caught Asa, grabbing his arm and forcing him to stop.

_Then,_ I felt the burn.

"I told you to leave me alone!" Asa yelled, ripping himself out of my grip. But Silver had followed right behind me, and he stopped Asa for me, grabbing his arms and holding him in front of me. Even as Asa struggled, Silver didn't loosen his grip.

But I needed him to. "Silver, stop." And Silver loosened his grip, letting Asa go, but—just as expected—Asa didn't move. He just stared at me, with burning hatred in his eyes. This was also expected.

"Leave me alone, Kotone!"

I cleared my throat, managing to catch my breath back. "First of all," I began, narrowing my eyes, "you're the one who should leave me alone. You're the one who has been bothering me all this time. But neither of us will leave each other alone because we need something from each other. I need to battle you. And I have no idea what you want from me. But you do want something. Or else you would have stopped _stalking_ me by now." I crossed my arms, waiting for the denial that never came.

"Second… how dare you?" I shook my head, all of the sympathy that I had started to feel for Asa having completely gone since he ran out that door. "You have the audacity to tell Silver that he is less than a man, when you have no idea what being a man is like. Because you are certainly not one. It is clear after what you have just done. You are horribly immature, incredibly selfish, and unforgivably rude. You ran out that door. You _ran away_. How is that manly?" I uncrossed my arms, pointing at Silver. "How dare you speak to Silver like that? I never properly scolded you before, but now, I want you to apologize."

"Bite me," Asa snapped, and I chuckled.

"I figured as much," I continued, not bothering to make him apologize anymore—if he didn't do it then, he wouldn't do it now. It wasn't like it would be genuine, anyway. "Asa, there's a part of you that you don't want anyone to see. But I saw it. You are just a _lonely_, immature fifteen-year-old boy. You hide that from everyone, and you put on this whole 'tough guy' guise. But you are just a silly little boy."

I turned to Silver, shaking my head, knowing that I would return to him later. Because there was something I would need to say to him someday. As soon as he told me what I wanted—and prayed—to hear, I would say it. He needed to be told. But right now, my focus was on Asa, who was so annoyed with me that I was surprised he hadn't run away again.

"You are not a man, Asa. Hiding your feelings does not make you a man. And there is something that you are still hiding, that you don't want anyone to know. And I know that I'm going to find out about it. You're not good about keeping your guard up." Asa looked particularly bothered by this statement, as I knew he would. "I think there is something about your strength that you don't want anyone to know. Your mother has something to do with it." I paused once more, sighing. "Asa… if there is anyone out there that could understand, I would be that person."

"No. I don't need you. Stay the hell away from me!"

And Asa took off again, sprinting as fast as he could out into the distance. I knew that this wouldn't be the last time I saw him. We still needed to battle, and Asa _had_ said that we would get to it. Besides, I needed a good battle. The last decent one I had was with Silver years ago, who had long given up battling. And I had a feeling that Asa would be even stronger after this conversation—because I bothered to bring up his mother.

As much as I hated the kid, I saw a lot of Silver and myself in him. My immaturity, Silver's denial and unforgivable nature. There was something in Asa that I could see, just barely glimpse, and I wondered how much of it had to do with his mother. Every time I mentioned her, he got upset and flustered. So, obviously there was something to this. I wanted to know what that something was.

I didn't feel bad for him. Empathetic, maybe. But the two were different, right? It was one thing to feel sympathy but another thing to feel empathy. I felt _with_ him. Because I knew that there was something more to his bond with his Arcanine, and I knew that his mother had something to do with it.

And I knew that it probably wasn't good.

"Kotone, what did you just do? What the hell were you even thinking?" Silver sounded completely beside himself, and as I turned to look at him, I could see that he was, too. "Seriously, Kotone, what have you done? And why are you trying to understand him? He's the bad guy here, not the good guy? He's the evil mastermind, the antagonist! He's not the freaking protagonist that you're trying to make him out to be!"

"I'm not. I still think he is an evil genius and stuff. And I'm not trying to _understand_ him in the way you're thinking. Whatever I can get from him I can use to my advantage, right? If I figure out where his strength comes from, I can beat him even more easily. My beating his Arcanine the first time could have been a fluke. He had just evolved his Growlithe into the Arcanine. The bond was down… So, I need to figure out where that bond comes from."

Silver sighed, rolling his eyes. "Then, why do you sound like you cared when you were asking about his mother?"

"I don't care…" I tried to repeat that to myself over and over. I didn't care. I couldn't possibly. _I don't care, I don't care, I don't care_. "I just… I think I know how he's feeling. And I think it's a feeling I know all too well." I rolled my eyes. "I don't care, Silver. This boy is the root of all evil. He's the one who started this. I don't care."

Silver wasn't buying it, but it was a fact: I didn't care. "What are you trying to do, Kotone?" he wondered, staring at me with something in his eyes that I hadn't seen in a long time. "You change your mind like… like you did when we were younger. Is this the new you? Is this what Asa has done to you?"

I froze. "What?"

"You act like a child. And this is not the Kotone I know. You've always been so level-headed, so sure about everything. But now you seem like a buoy during a storm. You're going up and down, up and down, back and forth. You can't seem to make up your mind. Ever since you lost to Asa, you've been like a tornado, changing emotions every two seconds."

And then, just as I was sure he predicted, based on his _analysis_ of my actions, I was angry. "Yeah, well, do you think that this is fair? Do you think that it's fair that all of this happened to me? Why couldn't it have happened to someone else? Why did I have to get sick?"

Silver laughed, rather sarcastically, and I narrowed my eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, life isn't fair. At all. My life was never fair, but I don't go around complaining about it all the time like you do!"

"Silver!" I was more shocked by this than Asa's victory over Matsuba. And hurt. "How… how…"

"I…" Silver looked down at the ground, and I held my breath, waiting for whatever punch he was going to throw. Because words always hurt more than anything else. "Kotone, I… Arceus, why is it so damn hard to say? I love you, Kotone, okay? But I can't handle this." That was it. That was exactly what hit hardest. "I want you to go back to the Kotone I knew before…"

I couldn't move. Not anymore. And I wasn't sure this was the time to tell him that I loved him back, that he was the person I fought for, that he was the person that gave me the bond with my Meganium. I would eventually. But the time wasn't now.

"Silver, I'm sorry."

And that was all I could say for now. I had more to say later, tomorrow maybe, but for now, I couldn't. Silver looked back up at me, waiting for the words I wouldn't say, and I stared back at him, waiting for him to walk away and leave me.

But he didn't walk away. He just sighed, looking more exasperated than I had ever seen him, and reached a hand out to me. I slipped mine into his, wondering what he was doing as we walked hand in hand to the Pokémon Center.

Maybe it was something like empathy that kept him here. But it sure as hell wasn't sympathy.

And yet, when we reached the Pokémon Center, and I was just falling asleep, I heard Silver whisper, "It's all right."

As if it was.

* * *

**Author's Note:** A ton of different things happened in this chapter. Like... a lot of things. I am very surprised so much could happen in just 3,000 words (approximately). It was a really important chapter. I mean, not just because of the end. But everything that happened with Asa is super important.

There is so much more to Asa than we have seen thus far. He is actually one of the most complex characters I have ever written. Very evil boy. But his character is a little deeper than that. And I am glad to hear that so many of you hate him. It means I have been doing what I have wanted to thus far. :)

Anyway, I will be going away (yes, again) on Friday. I probably will not be able to squeeze in another update before then, so, unfortunately, you won't get one for a while (a week or so, probably). But I left you with this, so hopefully you won't mind, right? XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.


	11. Silver

**Chapter Eleven – Silver**

I remained awake during much of the night, despite feeling so unbearably tired. The couch I was attempting to sleep on wasn't particularly comfy, but that wasn't what was keeping me from sleeping. Even Silver's light snoring, which could typically lull me to sleep without a problem, wasn't as reassuring as it had been. Having him be so near to me was keeping me awake; although I knew it was silly, I was worried that I had hurt him by not confessing my own feelings to him. Or confessing anything, really. I didn't say anything.

_Silver, I'm sorry_. Was that all I could say? Was that all? And yet, that was exactly what I had been waiting for him to say. I had so much I needed to tell him, but I had to hear everything from him first. Perhaps that was why I had apologized. Not because I was sorry that he had suffered and I had been the one complaining… but because I had made him wait, because I hadn't taken the first step, because I still had to do something else.

I knew I shouldn't have been so preoccupied with this. I was positive that he hadn't meant to tell me yet, anyway. Sure, I could certainly tell that he had been thinking it through as he went along. I could also tell, however, that he regretted saying anything. As soon as we had reached the Pokémon Center, he had gotten ready for bed without saying anything else to me. And a simple "good night" was all I received when he finally went to sleep. If he wasn't regretful, why wouldn't he say anything?

Well, I suppose it didn't help that I didn't even respond to his confession. But that was beside the point.

I spent the night just staring at the white ceiling and the white walls and white floors of the Pokémon Center. I felt so guilty… I was like a blemish in this pure atmosphere. But what did he want from me? Did Silver really want for me to respond to his saying he loved me right then and there? It had been so… random. He was frustrated; he didn't want it to slip out, but it did. I would feel even guiltier if I had said anything in return.

I had some things I needed to say to him, anyhow, and that hadn't been the place nor the time to say them. Watching Asa leave, when I had been so close to getting a battle with him, had really put a damper on both of our moods, as clearly seen from Silver's outburst. If I had said the things I needed to say _then_… well, Silver wouldn't be sleeping on that couch beside me. He would have been long gone.

Not that what I was going to tell him was all that bad. But I had a feeling he wouldn't like all of what I would be saying to him. So, why would I even bother saying any of it? Because I had said all I needed to say to Asa. At least for now. And if I could say what I needed to say to Asa, shouldn't I be able to say what I needed to say to Silver?

When morning came, I was even more tired than I usually was (and fatigue was something I felt most days). Silver seemed to notice since he got me an extra cup of tea to go with our breakfast, but he never commented on it. No, "Why are you so tired?" or "Did you not sleep well last night?". I could tell that Silver was even more bothered by yesterday's comments than he had been last night, and we sat in silence for all of breakfast.

And Silver used to be the talkative one…

"Silver," I started, figuring I might as well get the conversation started sooner rather than later. I wasn't sure how long I could handle the silence, now that it had carried over to our actual walking. "I want to talk to you about yesterday." He winced but didn't say anything. "And about a few other things. But mostly yesterday. I was just, uh… I was just wondering… you didn't mean to tell me how you felt, did you? You just let it slip."

None of it was really a question because I knew I was right. But I figured I might as well ask, get his opinion on the matter.

His lack of a response just clarified it for me.

"So, um, why is it such a big deal for you to tell me how you feel?" I was being a hypocrite, I knew, since it wasn't like I had ever told him how I felt. I loved him a lot. I truly did. It was just… I had at least told him how much he had meant to me before. I had told him that he was one of my best friends. Silver never told me any of that. He never told me anything. And the fact that he hadn't wanted to say anything yesterday bothered me.

But that had been exactly what I had been waiting for.

"Why didn't you want to tell me that you _love_ me?" I emphasized it, if only to trigger some sort of response, but he just furrowed his eyebrows, looking more annoyed than upset now. "If you love me, then why didn't you want to let me know? Because maybe I feel the same way." I wasn't going to clarify—not yet, anyway—but this did make him look at me. I just shrugged. "But you wouldn't know unless you said something, right? Or if I said something first."

Now he stopped, feet planted to the ground, and I stopped just in front of him, not bothering to turn around and look at his face. "Then why didn't you?" he asked, and I smiled—not that he could see. "Why didn't you say something first? What is the point of chastising me about it when you haven't said anything to me."

I turned around now, crossing my arms. "I didn't say I did feel the same way!" Then, seeing the hurt in his eyes, I uncrossed my arms and stepped towards him. "Silver, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I'm just as guilty as you are. Because I love you, too. I have for a really long time…" I felt all the blood in my body move to my face, and I couldn't make eye contact with Silver anymore. "But… I was waiting for you to tell me first."

"Why?" His voice didn't sound any softer, any less annoyed, but there was something else in it that brought another smile to my face. My cheeks still warm with embarrassment, I turned away again, taking a few steps forward to put some distance between us.

"Allow me to answer your question with a question, Silver." I didn't bother waiting for a response. However unfair it was, I was going to answer with a question, anyway. And I didn't necessarily want a reply from him. Because that was the point of answering his question with a question. "Why were you waiting for me to say something first?"

And, as expected, he didn't say anything. I spun on my heel, placing my hands on my hips and leaning towards Silver. "Let me ask another question. Not rhetorical. And I expect you to answering honestly, all right? Don't give me some silly excuse, Silver!" I was partially teasing him, however serious I was. I _did_ expect him to answer honestly. "I yelled at Asa yesterday about teasing you about the whole 'manly' business. But that really bothered you, didn't it? You didn't want me to notice, but you hated that Asa said all that stuff about you, didn't you?"

"I—what?" He crossed his arms, looking at me with his red eyes glowing. "You're crazy, Kotone. I wouldn't let what some little fifteen-year-old boy said bother me. Seriously, I have other things to worry about. That didn't bother me, Kotone, so don't waste your time yelling at Asa about it. And speaking of Asa, shouldn't we get moving if you want to find him?"

I nodded, and we began walking again, side by side. That hadn't been the answer I wanted, and I knew he had to be lying. Because I could see it in his eyes. Even that first time Asa said anything in the field, Silver's eyes betrayed him. Asa's words did bother him. Even if Asa was just a fifteen-year-old boy, I was sure that Silver had been hurt by the comments. He wasn't a _robot_. He had feelings.

"I wasn't actually going to yell at Asa about it anymore," I clarified, shifting my bag from one shoulder to my other. "I was actually going to talk to you about it a little bit. I know it bothered you, Silver, so don't try to deny it. Asa may just be a little fifteen-year-old, but you see a lot of yourself in him… so it _did_ bother you." Silver began to interrupt, but I shook my head, silencing him. "Please, just save it. I may be sick, but I'm not stupid. And I don't want to pick a fight about it."

"Then, why are we even talking about it?"

I ignored him, twisting the strap on my bag until Silver finally yanked it away from me, throwing it over his shoulder. "Hey, I can carry—"

"I'll carry it."

I sighed, shaking my head. I was still feeling tired, anyway. Perhaps letting Silver carry it for a little while would be okay. But, then again, wasn't that just my taking advantage of him again? Was Asa really right? No, Silver was just being nice. He loved me, right? So… yeah, he was just being nice to me.

But… he didn't even say anything about my confessing to him. This was the most messed up romance I had ever seen. We had to be the most awkward non-couple-yet-still-in-love-couple in the entire world. What the hell was up with that?

So, maybe Asa _was_ right.

"I disagree with Asa," I said, looking at Silver. "I think you're very manly… in a way. You're manly in accordance with a textbook. You're strong, focused, brave, serious, and afraid to admit your feelings to anyone. You're the perfect man, right?"

Well, maybe that was a little harsh. I didn't mean for it to come out sounding so sarcastic. I had meant for it to sound helpful, and it didn't. At all. In fact, the whole "afraid to admit your feelings to anyone" was probably a bit too much. And when he looked over at me with narrowed eyes, I could tell I _had_ gone too far.

Might as well continue…

"You could be a model for a textbook… picture this: the perfect man—with a picture of you! If Asa was thinking of a textbook definite for 'man', he was so wrong on that one." I smiled, trying to lighten the whole mood, but I really had gone too far. I probably should've stopped while I was ahead. Oops. "But maybe if he was looking at it another way…" I frowned, trying to decide how to word this nicely. "Please explain this to me since you're the guy here: why do men need to be so stoical? Why are they so afraid to admit their feelings? How is that manly?"

Silver just opened and shut his mouth, looking so annoyed now that I was embarrassed I had even brought the topic up. I was really sending our whole non-couple-yet-still-in-love-couple relationship down a broken pathway.

"You were afraid to tell me that you love me. And that was why I waited to say anything to you. _Because_ you were afraid. And you're still afraid. But why? I _know_ you care about me. But you're so scared to show me." I paused, shaking my head and whipping my hair around my face. "I know what you've been doing for me. Back at home, whenever you come over to my house, you always do research on how to cure my illness when you think I'm asleep."

I was pretty sure I saw Silver mouth, "Hibiki." I figured I would save Hibiki's life.

"Hibiki didn't tell me, I swear. I just noticed you reading all these books and stuff when I was 'sleeping'." I gave the word air quotes, and Silver winced, looking more defeated then than he ever had. "And you were always so careful to not let me see those books. I don't really understand why hiding that stuff is so important. Why didn't you want to show me you care? What could you accomplish by doing that?"

"What? It wasn't that I didn't want you to know that I cared. That was never it. And what's wrong with being scared to tell someone how you feel about them? What if you hadn't felt the same? That would have changed everything, right?" Now he moved the bag from one shoulder to the other, twisting the strap the same way I had.

"That's what I'm saying," I said, though I wasn't quite sure it had ever come out that way. I hadn't been particularly clear with anything. "There's nothing wrong with being scared. But men always try to be so brave and emotionless. You don't need to be. That doesn't define a man for me. Being vulnerable and scared and all those other things… it's okay. You shouldn't have been bothered by what Asa said. But you were."

The silence that had been so familiar to me earlier filled the space between us again. The only noises I could hear were the rustling of leaves on the trees and the brushing of fabric against fabric as Silver twisted the strap to the bag. Then, he moved the bag back to his other shoulder, settling it under his arm between the two of us.

And reaching a hand out, I gestured to the bag, ready to take it back. As he placed the strap in my hand, we brushed hands, skin against skin, and the two of us stopped, staring at the frozen exchange between us. The strap still halfway between my hand and his, no one taking full claim of it yet. I finally wrapped my fingers around the strap and flung it back over my shoulder, and time proceeded again.

"It's not really in my nature to be scared," Silver finally said, and I smiled, chuckling a little bit under my breath. "Hey, Kotone, don't laugh at me!"

"You're funny, Silver. You've always been so serious about stuff like this. Well, not really stuff like _this_, but about stuff in general. Remember when I was at the Goldenrod Radio Station, and I was disguised as a Team Rocket member? Oh, you were _so_ mad at me. But I think you were just scared then, too."

"Not. Funny," Silver muttered through gritted teeth. I wasn't really trying to joke around. I was serious. He _had_ been scared back then, I was sure. Why else would he have… well, never mind. It was just kind of funny that he was so hypocritical back then. He always complained about weak people being so scared and meek. But wasn't he just the same?

Of course.

Trying to become as serious as possible, I put on a straight face, looking right into Silver's eyes. "Silver, don't feel afraid to admit your feelings to me, all right? You don't have to live up to that textbook definition."

A flicker of a smile flashed on his face, but it never truly formed. Instead, he just nodded, just as serious as ever. "I wasn't planning on it."

Then, cupping my face in his hands, he leaned in and kissed me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Bad news. Please do not hate me. I'm going away (AGAIN!) this weekend.

I feel as though I should explain myself. I never planned for this to be a regular occurrence. The good news is that I shouldn't be going on any more vacations after that (or is that bad news?).

Anyway, the first time I went away, I was going to Canada with my friends. We had been planning this for a while. I knew about that. Last weekend I went away for the 4th of July. I knew about this, as well, but I did not know how long I would be gone. Next weekend I am attending a bridal shower. I was informed of this a few days ago. But oh well. It should be fun, anyhow. So, I just thought I would explain myself to you all. I am sorry. I really am.

So, anyway… this was my favorite chapter. Well… it was supposed to be (it actually turned out really terrible). I actually liked the last chapter better. But this was actually one of the first things I thought of when the idea for this fanfiction first came into my head. This is a huge sociological thing… the whole idea of being a "man". I've mentioned it a billion times throughout this, but here Kotone really chastises Silver for taken Asa's words to heart. Well, this didn't turn out as nice as I wanted it to; it was horrible. Horribly written, horribly explained… it was just horrible. I hate when things are so good in your head and then they're written and it's, like, BLAH.

And the kiss. HOW LAME!

Don't hate me. Please.

Disclaimer: Pokémon does not belong to me.


	12. Asa

**Chapter Twelve – Asa**

Of course I would ruin things right away by bringing Asa up.

Although, what "thing" I was ruining wasn't particularly clear. I had no idea what Silver and I were now. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Friends with benefits? Just friends? Well, either way, nothing really seemed to have changed since we admitted our feelings to each other. And kissed—but only once (so, I supposed that could rule out the whole "friends with benefits" option). I didn't mind that much. The kiss was short, sweet, soft, and perfect in every way. I could die happy after that.

I just wished that Silver would give me some sort of clue as to what he thought we were, since I had no idea what to think. But he talked to be exactly the same way he talked to me before. He walked with his arms crossed, just so we wouldn't touch hands. He looked me in the eyes but had the same expression as before. Nothing had changed at all.

Even immediately after we kissed he just continued walking, determined to get to the next town before nightfall. And when I tried to stop him, he just shrugged and continued on his way. Then, when we finally made it to the next town—not before nightfall but before midnight, at least—he went straight to sleep like he always did. A simple "good night" was all I got—just like every single other night.

Having not slept at all the previous night, I fell asleep without issue despite my assuming otherwise. I had to admit, when I woke up, I was surprised that I had slept at all. My heart was still heavy in my chest, my head aching with confusion, but I definitely felt more awake than yesterday. I had slept longer than Silver, who was at the microwave heating up our food, though that was no surprise. I was used to sleeping longer than most people, having been bedridden and tired all the time. Still, I did feel less tired than usual but just as achy.

"Hey, Kotone," Silver greeted as he came back over carrying two plates with our breakfast on it. "I just have to go back and grab the tea…" He set the plates down on the coffee table in front of us and hurried away again. I sat up, watching him pour the hot water into the teacups and walk carefully back over to me. Spilling a little on the table as he set the cups down, he just sat down on the couch. "Sorry. I'll take that one."

"Oh, no, it's fine. I can take that one. I don't want too much tea today, anyway." I reached for the cup, half expecting Silver to take the cup instead, but he didn't. Not that I was testing him or anything… because I wasn't… I just thought he would try to act all manly and chivalrous. I was glad to see that my words had an effect on him, at least.

"So, Silver, why do yo—" I stopped, seeing the familiar black and green lanyard on the floor near his feet. I kept that in my bag, safe and secure, so it shouldn't have been on the floor. And surely if Silver had been looking at it he would have put it back in the bag. I pointed to the floor, raising an eyebrow. "Um, Silver, were you looking at the lanyard?"

Silver just looked at me, confused, before glancing down to where I was pointing and picking up the lanyard. "Oh, are you talking about this? Isn't this Asa's lanyard?" He handed it to me, and I stared at the green lettering spelling Asa's name, nodding. "I wasn't looking at it. Trust me, I don't want to have to see that kid or his name anymore than I need to. Maybe you just dropped it when you were getting ready to go to sleep."

I shook my head, positive that it hadn't fallen out of my bag—and I wouldn't have dropped it because I wouldn't have taken it out of my bag. "No, I didn't drop it. I keep it in a separate compartment from all of the stuff I use to get ready for bed. Someone must have gone through my stuff."

I bent down to look at my bag, and, sure enough, the compartment that I kept the lanyard in was wide open. The flap that was usually zippered shut was undone, but I had no other evidence than that—I never kept anything else in there with the lanyard. Still, that was enough to assure me that someone had been through my bag to take out the lanyard. But why would they leave it behind after going through the trouble to try and take it?

"No one went through your stuff. Wouldn't we have heard them if they had? I mean, come on, the bag is right in front of you. Wouldn't you have heard if someone was practically breathing down your neck trying to take a _lanyard_?" Silver scoffed, and I crossed my arms. Something about how he said "lanyard" bothered me; it was like he was making fun of me—or maybe my obsession with it. He just didn't understand.

"How could we have heard them? Sure, they would have been right in front of my nose, but people are _always_ coming in and out of the Pokémon Center. People are _always_ making lots of noise. And we _always_ sleep right through it. So, if they were being quiet about it, it would have relatively been the same volume as the noise we're used to—meaning we wouldn't have woken up, right?" I tried to sound more confident than I was, but, since my voice was starting to shake as I got nervous, my attempt failed. "So, someone came in here and tried to take it. But I'm confused as to why they left it here."

Silver feigned looking thoughtful. "Hmm. Maybe because it's just a _lanyard_? It doesn't have any significance to anyone—except maybe you. Even Asa doesn't want it anymore. So, why don't you just dump it? I mean… Kotone, it's just a lanyard." He shrugged, and I shook my head, biting my lip to fight back harsh words.

"It's not just a lanyard, Silver. I swear, there's something to it." I put the lanyard back into the pocket of my bag, zipping it up. "I don't expect you to understand it because I don't. But I just know that Asa wouldn't have just left this in the woods. And why would he just let me keep it? I… I…"

I coughed, my lungs going out of control for what felt like the first time in days, even if it had been only a couple. Still, that was a long time for me—I hadn't even realized it. I had been feeling different lately. Yes, I was still tired, feeling fatigue that a normal person shouldn't, and yes, I still didn't have much of an appetite. But my breathing episodes hadn't been quite so frequent.

Maybe that was because I hadn't been under so much stress or tension. I guessed that Asa had been causing me quite a bit of worry, but ever since I saw him beat Matsuba, I felt a bit more… at ease. I still hated him and all, but since learning how insecure the kid was, I didn't feel as threatened. And, who knew, maybe all this fresh air was helping me, too, since it wasn't like Asa had been around before to make me sick (and I couldn't put _all_ the blame on him).

But now, here I was, getting all worked up again over a stupid lanyard.

"Hey, it's okay, don't worry about it, Kotone!" Silver looked genuinely confused now, like he had no idea what I was freaking out about. But it was so frustrating that he didn't believe me—and it was even more frustrating that we had both told each other that we were in love, yet nothing had changed. I was just _so frustrated_. "It's just a lanyard!"

"Stop saying that," I huffed, trying to catch my breath but feeling myself losing grip of control. Because it wasn't _just a lanyard_. There was something to it, something that Silver obviously couldn't see. And it was funny that he couldn't—he had lost all of his family, and he couldn't understand Asa at all. But… I lost my dad. I knew what that was like. I might have been young when he vanished forever, but I remembered. And I knew how Asa felt.

And I knew what it was like to feel attachment to something when that person left. When my dad had gone—left, really—he forgot one of his old hats. I wore it every day until my mom threw it out when I was nine and bought me a new one. I was absolutely heartbroken when the hat was gone, but it wasn't like I remembered too much about my dad, anyway. I just remembered the look on his face and the suitcase in his hand when he walked out the door. Then… the hat—that was just like me: forgotten.

But since my mom bought me that new hat, I cherished that one, as well. I knew my mom loved me—and even though I was mad that she threw out the old, dirty, ratty hat that my dad forgot, at least she remembered me. I loved both hats… and whenever my mom bought me another hat, I would wear that one again and again until she got me a new one.

Maybe that was what Asa was doing. Cherishing an item. He cherished that Arcanine of his… maybe this lanyard was something he held dear before. It had clearly been loved; parts of it had started to fray. So, maybe he gave up on this when he got something new. But it was still a clue, right? Still evidence into something?

"I need to find out what happened to Asa's mother," I finally said, controlling my breath, allowing it to return back to normal. "This isn't just a lanyard. I know it doesn't seem like much to you, but Asa left it behind on purpose. I'm going to find out why. And I'm going to be Champion again. Can't I do both?"

"No," Silver retorted, looking more frustrated than I felt, "you can't. Kotone, you are getting way too emotionally attached to this whole thing. This kid has a… an oedipal complex or something. Leave it at that and go kick his ass."

I crossed my arms, disappointed. "He doesn't have an oedipal complex. Obviously something has scarred him or bothered him. Just because it's related to his mother doesn't mean he has an oedipal complex, you jerk." I sighed, trying to control my anger with Silver. I didn't want to make things worse—I wanted to make them better. "Listen, I _know_ something happened to Asa. I don't know what happened to his mother, but… something _did_. So, why can't I do both? Why can't I win and find out what happened?"

"Like I said, you're too emotionally attached now. There is no way you can ever win if you continue searching for the answers that you're never going to get. Asa is just a twisted teenage boy. Why can't you just leave it at that? Why do you have to solve everyone's problems? He never asked for your help, and frankly, he doesn't deserve it. Did you forget everything he's done to you? Did you put that out of your mind because you want to help him? Damn it, Kotone, you can't help him!"

Silver pounded a fist on the coffee table, making the tea splatter all over it. Several people turned to look at us, but I just sat there as several people wandered over to us with napkins and towels to clean up the mess. All I could do was stare at Silver, so terribly confused that even as I went over his words over and over in my head, I couldn't figure him out.

"Why not?" I asked when all the people cleaning up our mess—which we should have helped with but didn't—left. "Why can't I help him?"

"It isn't your duty to save the world. You're not the Champion anymore. And even the Champion doesn't have to save the world."

I furrowed my eyebrows, sighing. "Wataru did. He stopped that radio signal all those years ago that forced Pokémon to evolve. Sure, I helped, but I wouldn't have even known if he didn't tell me. And I stopped Team Rocket at the Radio Tower… I wouldn't just let them do what they want, right?"

Silver didn't respond. He just pursed his lips, clearly done with this conversation, determined I was wrong.

I would just have to prove myself right.

"It's not that we have to save the world. It's not that I have to save a teenage boy who is clearly lost. It's not about saving anyone… or about obligation. It's about doing the right thing, Silver. And what do you think is the right thing? Letting this fifteen-year-old wander the streets when there is clearly something wrong—when he should be somewhere else? Is that the right thing?" I rubbed my neck, feeling so emotionally drained that I wanted to go back to sleep. "Silver, there is so much more to Asa than we know. I think he battled me for a reason that day. And he dropped this lanyard on purpose. He's been following me for a reason, poking fun at you for a reason, and _training_ for a reason."

"Training?" Silver noted, and I rolled my eyes. Of course that would get him interested in the conversation again.

"Yes. Nothing that Asa has done has been random, though I do think the fire in the woods was an accident. But everything else has been planned." It wasn't as though I had much time to think all of this through, and, I had to admit, I came up with most of this on the spot. It made sense, though, right? The more I thought about it, the more I knew I was right about everything. "Asa has thought everything through. And we're going to be seeing him again very shortly."

Silver shook his head, obviously disagreeing with me once again. "He didn't expect you to call him out on his Arcanine. That wasn't in his plan. So, you can't know that we'll see him again soon because you threw him off his course."

"Nope, he'll be back soon. He'll be waiting for us." I got the lanyard back out of my bag—after all that trouble putting it back in—and showed it to Silver. "Maybe he already has come back."

"You think he came in here, went into your bag, found his lanyard, and then left it on the floor?"

Well, when he put it like that, it did sound a little crazy. But, honestly, it was the only reasonable explanation. Who else would do exactly what Silver described? Any other person would have taken valuables or something worth more than a lanyard, and they wouldn't have left it behind after doing so.

"Do you think maybe one of the nurses saw the person taking stuff from your bag, and they ran off? Isn't that more reasonable?"

Damn. Touché.

Oh, I knew what to say. Silver couldn't win this one—why I was even fighting him, I didn't know. This was moving things backwards. "Wouldn't the nurses have talked to us this morning about it if that had happened? I don't think so, Silver. Asa got by them, took the lanyard, and then left it behind. He left it behind once. Why wouldn't he do it again?"

Silver just sighed, waving a hand and picking up one of the now-damp plates. Handing it to me, he nodded. "Whatever, Kotone. You do what you want. You're the one who has to beat Asa, since apparently no one else can."

I didn't eat. I wasn't feeling very hungry anymore—well, I hadn't ever, but I had even less of an appetite now.

I might have been in love with Silver, but I didn't agree with what he was saying. And he might have loved me back, but clearly he didn't agree with me, either. But Silver was smart enough to drop the subject when we were entering too dangerous a zone.

Yet…

"I _can_ do both, Silver." I put my untouched plate of food back down on the coffee table before slipping the lanyard back into my bag. Then, throwing the bag over my shoulder to go get ready in the girls' bathroom, I looked back at Silver. "I can beat him and figure out what happened. Why do you think I can't?"

"Kotone," he said, putting his empty plate down beside mine on the table, "why do you think you _can_?"

"Because I just can." I felt like a child answering the question that way and then storming off to the bathroom. But someone had to have faith, right? And if I was the only one who did, then… fine. It just hurt that he didn't have any.

Of course I would ruin things. Of course.

Thanks a lot, Asa.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yay, I can update and not have to say that I'm going away! Because I'm not! I don't think I will be going on anymore vacations for a while. In the last three weeks, I have been sitting in a car for over 40 hours. We had to drive to all these vacations. There, back, there, back. I think I need a vacation from all these vacations.

Anyway, here is the update, as promised. I don't have much to say about this chapter. But who do you agree with, here? Kotone or Silver? Because I think both of them make good points. Silver is being a bit more logical, but Kotone has a bit more insight into Asa's situation than Silver does. So, who do you agree with?

One more question: do you prefer receiving responses from author's/artists when you make a comment or review? I prefer it. I like knowing that the artist has taken the time to read your comment and stuff. You know what I mean? I always try to reply to reviews and comments, too. But what do you prefer?

Just something to think about. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Pokemon related.


	13. Research

**Chapter Thirteen – Research**

I had to admit, there was a certain irony to the whole situation; Silver was right about that. But did he really just expect me to keep chasing the boy around until I caught him and got my title back? And then what? Go home and get back into bed, refuse to eat anything, get sicker? Wait to die? That didn't really seem like all that great a plan to me.

Well, that wasn't true. Part of it sounded like a wonderful plan. I wanted to be Champion again, to die a Champion, and I would chase Asa into the depths of Hell if it meant getting it back. Yet… I had recently started to think that I was being selfish. I had been the League Champion for so long, and no one could beat me. Theoretically, I was the strongest Trainer in Johto and Kanto—maybe Hoenn and Sinnoh and every other region, too. But… I had held onto my title even while I couldn't even participate in events that a Champion should; I had remained Champion while I was ill and bedridden.

Maybe it was a good thing that Asa had stolen my title, then. Maybe it was time that there was a new League Champion (though it seemed odd to think of him as that when he didn't even have any badges). Maybe it was time for me to move on and go do something else with my life while I could still live it. I honestly felt significantly better than I had back at my home with Hibiki. Why would I get my title back and just return to that? Because wouldn't that be exactly what would happen? I would become Champion again and go back home.

What else could I do? What else did I know how to do? Being Champion was what I did best, right? It wasn't like I could just go back home, without my title. That was hardly fair to Hibiki, and adding something else that wasn't fair to the list would be horribly rude of me. I supposed I could always go the path Wataru did and save the world one Pokémon at a time (but my body surely was not up to that). Plus, he actually did stuff with the Elite Four and Blackthorn, too. He was practically the superhero of Johto.

Me, not so much.

Anyway, this was a matter of my dignity, not just being Champion. Asa had robbed me of my honor, and I needed to get it back. Hadn't that been what I wanted all along? Hadn't that been what I was so mad about when I first started this journey with Silver? And hadn't I been upset that Asa had no honor, and that was another reason why I needed to be Champion again? When had my ideals changed?

Maybe Silver was right. I needed to get my head back on straight. Whatever had happened with Asa's mother wasn't any of my business. I didn't need to save everyone; I wasn't obligated to, and I wasn't Champion anymore, anyway. I didn't need to put my nose where it didn't belong, and Asa had clearly indicated that I was in the wrong when he ran away. So, maybe I should have given up with the whole thing. I just needed to beat Asa, and that was that. End of subject, case closed. Beat Asa, beat Asa, beat Asa.

Besides, I had been getting better. Even as we continued walking today, I didn't feel nearly as worn out as I would have when Silver and I first started out, and I wasn't having random breathing episodes. I couldn't tell why I was getting better; I just knew that I was. And I didn't want to jeopardize my health by stressing over someone else's problems. Especially when Asa didn't even deserve my help.

I didn't want to boost Silver's ego by telling him that he was right, that I should give up the whole thing, but I had to tell him. He was sort of pissed off at me for fighting with him earlier, and he had been trailing behind me as we walked along the rural path like someone being dragged along. And if telling him made him happy, fine. If it happened to make him consider being more than just friends, even better.

I never meant to change my mind about a hundred times. But I was hoping that Silver would understand. Despite my being a very rational child and teenager, I didn't think I was being particularly rational now. But I wouldn't make excuses. I had made some poor decisions, but I said what I meant—there _was_ something to Asa and his mother. I just didn't need to get involved. Necessarily. Or so Silver thought, anyway. And he was probably correct, so…

"Hey, Silver?" I started, slowing down my pace so I could walk beside him. I figured he would be more willing to talk if we kept walking, and the sun had started to set anyway, giving the sky a red tinge. _Red sky at night, sailor's delight_, I thought. "Have you noticed? I haven't been as sick as I used to be lately. I'm feeling better than before."

He glanced at me, reaching a hand up to brush his hair out of his eyes. "Yeah, I guess you have been better. You look a little healthier. Not that you're eating anymore than you did before," he added with a sharp look, but I just shrugged. When I had first gotten sick, my appetite had been the first thing to go. "Plus, you still look exhausted… But you haven't had as many of those breathing fits lately. I noticed that…"

He didn't look particularly happy about it, though…

"Oh." I frowned, tugging at one of my strands of hair. "You didn't say anything about it. I didn't know if you noticed… But, listen, I was thinking… I guess you're right about Asa. I don't want to lay my health on the line for him. I mean, I think there's definitely something to the lanyard and his mother, but I don't need to hurt myself for him, right?"

Silver raised an eyebrow, staring at me with confused eyes. "Why the change in heart?" he wondered, and I shoved my hands in my pockets. As if he didn't know already. "Hey, if this is about what I said this morning, I didn't mean what I implied. I'm grateful to you, Kotone, really, so don't go changing—"

"What?" I interrupted, and it was my turn to be confused. "What did you imply? I must have missed this…"

"When I asked why you had to solve everyone's—never mind. If you missed it then it wasn't important, anyway. Just… never mind." His cheeks were turning a rosy pink color, and he tried to block it from me by rubbing the back of his head. "I was just mad. You're just so _nice_ and _forgiving_, Kotone. To everyone, even the people you say you hate. But I can't be nice or forgiving to the people I hate. Asa hurt you, so I want to hurt him. That's just the way I am. So, I was mad that you were even considering helping him. But you can do whatever you want. Don't let me influence you."

I pulled a hand out of my pocket and grabbed his arm. "Silver!" I sighed, sliding my hand down to his. "No, you were right. I was getting too emotionally attached, and I _wouldn't_ have been able to win that way. I want to protect my health while I still have it, and if I go searching for answers I'll just lose it. All I need is to become Champion again, and then I can forget about Asa and do something else with my life."

But he just looked at me like I was crazy. "This morning you were so sure that you were doing the right thing. You said helping Asa was about doing the right thing. So, what are you doing now?"

"Um," I muttered, furrowing my eyebrows and pursing my lips, "why are you trying to go against everything I say? I say one thing this morning, you're completely against it. Now, I'm _agreeing_ with you, and you're going against me again. I'm confused, Silver."

"I'm not trying to disagree with you for the hell of it, Kotone." Silver pulled his hand away from mine, instead crossing his arms across his chest. "But you shouldn't agree with me just because… what, because you love me? That isn't a reason to agree. You had your _heart_ set on helping Asa this morning."

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I'm not agreeing with you just because I love you…"

Silver gave me a hard look, getting ready to respond when my PokéGear rang. I reached into my bag, pulling it out of my bag, ready to just open it and hang up, but seeing who it was, I couldn't. Hibiki. He would call at a time like this… of course, he would.

"Hello, Hibiki!" I answered, trying to sound as chipper as possible. "How are you?"

"I'm peachy, Kotone! How are you doing?" I could imagine his face as he added, "Is Silver still there with you? He hasn't abandoned you again, has he? If he has, I'm going to go out and find him, and I am going to kill him. And then I'm going to bring him back from the dead and kill him again. Man, I might as well do it a third time, too, if he's—"

"He's still here, Hibiki, so you don't need to kill anyone, okay?" I couldn't help but laugh at this. Hibiki always had a way of cheering me up. Even when I was at home, he could still get a laugh out of me when I really needed one. I had to admit, Hibiki was a really great roommate. And he put up with all of my problems, which just made him all the more admirable.

I held up a finger to Silver, silently asking him to give me a minute alone with Hibiki. I wanted to talk to Hibiki alone, hoping that he would be the relatively unbiased deciding vote of who was in the wrong here. I walked a little further down the path, looking back to make sure Silver was staying put; he had put his bag down and sat down on a boulder, head in his hands.

"Oh, good, because if he left, I definitely would've—"

"Yeah, I know, Hibiki," I said, laughing again. Man, it was nice to hear his voice again. It hadn't even been that long since I had last seen him, but I missed him. "Listen, I want to ask you something. Try to be as unbiased as possible here. Okay? Got that, Hibiki? Unbiased. That means you don't agree with me just because Silver pisses you off sometimes."

I heard him sigh on the other end of the line. "Great. What now?"

"Okay, so… there's something about Asa. The kid we're trying to follow? The one who stole my title?" Hibiki hummed a yes on the other end. "Right, well… there's something about him. Something obviously happened involving his mother, and this kid is really attached to her and things given to him by her."

"Sounds like oedipal complex to me," Hibiki said, and I narrowed my eyes.

"What? No!" I wondered why all the guys were so obsessed with oedipal complex. Didn't they love their mothers? Come on… "_Anyway_, I was feeling sort of… bad for him, and I wanted to find out what was wrong. Silver said it wasn't any of my business. And I've kind of… changed my mind now, and suddenly Silver's all, 'No, you have to help him'. I don't really know what to do anymore. It's not like I don't hate Asa anymore. I'm still mad at him, but there's something the matter…"

Silence followed for a few seconds, and I had to call Hibiki's name to make sure we hadn't disconnected. He just hummed again, and I didn't say anything again. I didn't realize that this was something he had to think so hard about. Or maybe he was busy.

"Well, if you ask me, you still seemed pretty concerned about Asa's situation. You're probably feeling pretty conflicted, though, huh? You hate him and want to help him at the same time, right? Listen, I don't want to pick sides because it sounds like you keep switching them. You obviously know where your loyalties lie—with Silver—and you don't want to hurt him. But you're worried about Asa—and you hate him at the same time."

I nodded, even though Hibiki couldn't see me.

"Do what you want to do, Kotone. Don't let other people influence your decisions. Help Asa if you think it's the right thing to do." I nodded again. Hopefully I would just figure it out along the way. Maybe Asa would just tell me after I beat him. "Otherwise, just become Champion again and come home. It's kind of lonely here without you." I could imagine the smile on his face, and I smiled back.

"I miss you, too, Hibiki."

"Yeah, well, same to you." He gasped suddenly, and I jumped. "I forgot to ask, I think! How are you feeling? Are you doing all right?"

I laughed again, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, actually, I'm great. I'm not having as many breathing episodes as I was. I'm still a little tired, and I don't have much of an appetite still, but it's getting better, I think. Even Silver said I looked better. Compared to how I was back at home, I feel really good."

More silence followed. I didn't take this as a good thing.

"I'm glad, Kotone, but…" Hibiki paused again, and I couldn't help but notice that he _didn't_ sound glad one bit. I bit my lip, a little surprised by this, and switched the PokéGear to my other ear. "Let me ask you this: have you ever heard of the calm before the storm? I've heard of it happening with some diseases. Everything seems to get better, and then…" He stopped. "That was some of the research Silver was doing. He thought you'd reach a point where you would look like you were getting better… but you weren't."

"Oh." So, _that_ was why Silver and Hibiki hadn't acted all that thrilled when I had told them about my increasing health situation. Because he thought that what I was going through right now was the calm before the storm, almost a remission of sorts. And he thought I would… relapse. Hard.

"Hey, don't worry about it, okay?" he said, but how could I _not_ worry about it now? Why would he tell me if he didn't want me to worry about it? "It was just some research he was doing—that only happened in a few cases. Heck, all that fresh air is probably really helping you! It probably wasn't very good of us keeping you locked up in the stuffy house."

I faked a laugh, since that was obviously what he was expecting now. "Yeah, Hibiki, you're right," I lied, but I was so unsure about everything now. What the hell? "Hey, do you want to talk to Silver?"

"Aw, man, do I have to?"

I smiled, heading back towards Silver. "Yeah, probably. I'll talk to you again soon, Hibiki. Thanks for calling me. I miss you!" Yeah, thanks for calling me and just making me worry even more. No, that was mean. I was happy that he called. I loved Hibiki like the brother I never had, but sometimes he talked too much.

"All right, Kotone. See you."

I passed the PokéGear off to Silver, who had looked up as I approached with a quizzical expression. "Hibiki wants to talk to you," I said.

I could hear Hibiki screaming, "What? No, I don't! She's lying, she's—"

"Hey, Hibiki…" Silver greeted, sounding absolutely thrilled to talk to Hibiki (not). I smiled, watching as Silver walked off to the spot I had just been, taking the seat on the boulder.

Well, I would just face the obstacles as they came to me, I figured now. Take each day one step at a time. If Asa told me about his mother, fine, great, I'd help him out. If not, it wasn't any of my business. If there was a storm coming, fine, great, I'd deal with it. If not, I was getting better, end of story.

I just wished it could be that simple.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My A/Ns have been too long lately. I'll keep this one short. I don't really have anything to talk about, anyway. Oh, except one thing. I told someone once that this fanfic would be between 10 and 15 chapters long. Yeah, not gonna happen. Try more like... 16 or 17. But do not fret! All loose ends will get tied up. ;)

Ah, I love Hibiki. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. It would not be nearly so entertaining a game if I did.


	14. Calm

**Chapter Fourteen – Calm**

Because Hibiki called and talked to Silver and I for so long (he talked with Silver for a surprisingly long time), we were forced to make camp. The sun had completely set now, and there was no way that we would make it to the next town before midnight. We still had a few more kilometers to walk, and we were better off just camping on the side of the trail to get some rest. Silver kept muttering about it being Hibiki's fault as we set up the tent, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"Well, if you wanted to hang up, why didn't you? You were talking to Hibiki for an awfully long time, you know. Even longer than me, probably!" I snickered, smirking at Silver as I pounded a stake into the ground. "You just can't get guys to stop socializing anymore. My gosh, guys are just _so_ talkative, aren't they? And I thought girls were obnoxious about it. If you put two guys together, they'll go on _forever_!"

I snorted, but Silver didn't look amused by my joke. He just pouted, hitting his stake into the ground with such force that I couldn't help but wonder if he was pretending that was someone. "Hey, Silver, take it easy. We need to be able to take that stake out, remember?" He glanced over at me, rolled his eyes, and continued to pound his stake into the ground. I was very concerned.

"So, what did you and Hibiki talk about that you're so furious about, anyway?" I asked, moving onto the next stake. I couldn't see Silver anymore, but I imagined that he was probably rolling his eyes at me again for even brining the topic up. Well, hey, I was curious. Maybe Hibiki told him that he mentioned the whole 'calm before the storm' thing, and that made Silver really angry. I didn't think Silver would really want me to know.

That was Hibiki's problem; get him talking, and he'll keep going. He didn't really have a _filter_. I wouldn't be surprised if Hibiki had mentioned the whole thing to Silver; heck, I was beyond paranoid now. My stomach felt like it was all in knots, and I felt the beginnings of a fever. Paranoia was powerful stuff. I didn't think I was actually getting sick, but my mind was tricking me into thinking I was.

"Oh, just _stuff_," Silver replied, banging a stake into the ground on his last word. I jumped, missing my stake completely as I went to hit it.

I tried again, this time actually hitting the stake into the ground and securing my whole side of the tent. Silver had actually been done for a while, I thought, but it looked like he was getting some of his anger out. So, I just stood up, brushing my pants off and walking around the side of the tent to see Silver. Yep, all done. I reached down just as he was going to take another swing at the stake, grabbing his arm.

"Sounds like some really great _stuff_, Silver." I took the hammer away from him and helped pull him to his feet. The moon, glistening through the trees, was our only source of light at the moment. I should have sent out my Jolteon if I had thought of it sooner, but at this point, it seemed a little late. Besides, the moon lit up Silver's eyes, however narrowed they were, and I couldn't help but think them sort of beautiful.

"Do you want to talk about this _stuff_?" I took his hand, trying to pry some information out of him. I felt a little guilty for not mentioning what Hibiki and I talked about, especially since it included Silver, but it wasn't like he had asked about my conversation. I would have told him if he asked. Maybe.

He just gave me a hard look, and I sighed. I ought to have just backed off now; if he didn't want to tell me, that was his business. He wasn't about to tell me anything, so I didn't know why I was bothering. Though… perhaps I could get him to talk other ways. I glanced down at our hands, amazed that Silver hadn't pulled away yet, seeing how things had been going lately. Huh.

It wasn't just that I was worried about whatever he and Hibiki had talked about (and whatever that was, it had Silver very upset); we really hadn't moved on from our "just friends" state. Even though we'd been fighting earlier today, I supposed it was worth a shot. Besides… people in relationships were supposed to tell each other everything. I silently vowed to tell Silver what Hibiki and I discussed if I could get this to work.

"All right, Silver," I said, trying to sound overly exasperated (which, frankly, wasn't hard to feign—I was fairly discouraged after this _enlightening_ conversation). "I guess I'm going to go to bed now, since you aren't being the best company in the world." I sighed again, this time louder. "Goodnight, Silver. I love you."

I stared at him with the same hard eyes that he had looked at me with earlier, willing a response out of him. It didn't come. He avoided my gaze so blatantly, choosing to look at the tent and pretending to admire our handy work instead—the same tent that we had put up so many time with our handy work. I crossed my arms, waiting… waiting… but nothing came of it.

"All right, this is ridiculous." I squeezed his hand, tugging it lightly, and he finally turned his gaze on mine. "Silver. You love me, and I love you. We both said it. So, why are we pretending that we didn't?" I smiled, searching those beautiful moonlit eyes for something, anything. "I'm not going to live forever. Why don't we make the most of the time we have left together, then?"

I reached my free hand up to his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine. He didn't pull away, like I half-expected. Instead, he kissed me back, wrapping a hand around my waist to pull me tighter against him. I let go of his other hand, moving it to his chest instead, and he moved his to my hair, twirling it around his fingers. Time seemed to stop, and I had no idea how long we stood there like that, mouth to mouth, body to body, until finally, Silver stopped.

And just like that, he escaped, backing away with a horrified expression. Had he pulled away before I kissed him, that would have been one thing. But to pull away like that mid-kiss… I was utterly confused. What was wrong? What had I done? I didn't understand anything, and I felt helpless again, like when I was bedridden… like I couldn't do anything, couldn't fix anything, couldn't help anyone else.

"Silver…"

"Goodnight, Kotone," he just said, sneaking into the tent. He tried to zip the tent closed after him, but I stopped him, pulling the zippers back up. Following him in, the entire tent pitch black without the moon's light, I reached out, trying to find him while my eyes adjusted. Then, finally able to see a little, I grabbed his arm before he could sneak into his newly unraveled sleeping bag.

"Silver! What's wrong? Why can't you tell me? Why won't you be with me?" I pleaded, begging for answers. He didn't even look at me; he just shoved my hand away and crawled into the sleeping bag, leaving me to guess at the answers alone.

* * *

Despite everything that happened, I managed to fall asleep—or at least, I thought I did, since I couldn't remember ever staying awake. I just didn't _feel_ like I had ever fallen asleep. I awoke feeling incredibly tired, and I imagined I would have slept much longer if Silver hadn't started taking the tent down with me still inside of it.

I rolled my sleeping bag up and crawled out of the tent, staring as Silver took the tent down. Everything that had occurred the night previous seemed like a nightmare, but even I could tell the difference between dreams and reality—and that had most certainly happened. At this point, remaining friends seemed like the best option, since trying to move forward only forced us backwards instead.

I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to call Hibiki back, tell him what I hadn't yesterday… that Silver and I were in love, but nothing was coming of it. It wasn't like Hibiki was really the best person to go to, though. He didn't have any more experience in this field than we did, and Hibiki's naturally joking attitude could easily make things worse.

We started walking again, determined to get to the next town before noon. Silver and I hadn't really spoken yet, other than the occasional grunt to agree or disagree—and I hadn't helped take the tent down at all. After feeling so good the past few days, I wasn't used to feeling so terribly. My whole body was aching, and I felt so tired that I could barely hold my head up.

Perhaps I was just being paranoid. Anyways, what I had before could be considered calm, sure, but _this_ was hardly a storm. I had felt worse in my life—in fact, almost every day back when I was at home I felt worse. The storm I expected was more like a typhoon, and what I got was more like a thunderstorm. So, all things considered, this wasn't too bad. I felt worse before—I just wasn't used to feeling bad after feeling good.

Still, when Silver had offered me breakfast this morning, I grunted a no. Because I wasn't hungry at all. This was not unusual, but I _really_ didn't feel hungry—and yet, Silver didn't try to make me eat it. He had just shrugged, eating the food himself, perhaps because he didn't want to have to speak to me. Either way, after that, I just felt even sicker.

But when we came to a fork in the road after walking awhile, we were forced to converse, much to Silver's chagrin, I guessed. I was just happy to stop walking for a minute, though. Even though I knew I wasn't anymore, walking all this way made me feel out of shape—my head hurt, my body hurt, my legs hurt. Even my throat hurt, and it felt really swollen. Taking a break was no problem with me.

"Which way?" I asked, leaning against a tree to catch my breath, which had started to enter one of my episodes. It wasn't like we were sprinting or anything—I just couldn't breathe. All right, so maybe the thunderstorm was getting worse. Maybe the typhoon was coming. Or maybe I was just being really paranoid and tricking myself into thinking I was getting worse.

Silver just shrugged. "You pick."

"Wow, thank you for being so helpful." I couldn't stop myself from putting a little bit of edge in my voice, but I regretted doing so right away. "Sorry. Let's go right. We can ask people in the town if they've seen Asa, and if they haven't, we can come back and take the left path. But can we just stop for a minute? I'm not feeling very well…"

This spiked Silver's interest. "You aren't?" He actually managed to look concerned, and I sighed, shaking my head. "But you seemed all right yesterday. You've seemed okay for a while."

"Yeah, well, I don't feel well today…" I put a hand to my face, rubbing my eyes. I could definitely just fall asleep against that tree right then and there. "I think I'm actually okay, I'm just being stupid. Hibiki told me about something you had been researching yesterday while we were talking, and I think it's just making me think I'm sick."

"He told me he mentioned that…" Silver said, walking closer to me. He had been specifically staying away from me all morning, so much so that this closed distance seemed odd. "That's why I was so angry at him. He can't keep his fat mouth shut." His fists were clenched, but when Silver noticed I was staring at them, he relaxed them. "It's true. I was researching that. But there's no reason for you to be paranoid about it—"

"You don't need to lie about it for me. I know you think the whole 'calm before the storm' thing is real. That's why you weren't so happy when I told you I felt better, and—" I stopped, a wave of realization sweeping through me. "That's why you've been rejecting me."

"I haven't been—"

"Like I said, you don't need to lie about it," I repeated, pushing myself off the tree and starting down the path. Silver followed, slowly, but he still did. "And I don't blame you. Just so you know."

That was it. The end of the conversation. We were done… so done. But I really didn't blame him. I was sure being in love with someone whose fate had already been decided was hard. Falling in love with someone who was going to die… I understood what he was doing completely… cutting himself off before we were in too deep.

And the fact that he didn't try to deny it anymore after that—that he didn't try to get the conversation going again—just further proved how serious he was about not loving me. He had never been pretending not to love me. He was trying to fall out of love.

We reached the next town faster than I had expected, but I was grateful. I was feeling even sicker than I had when we started walking that morning, but most of it was psychological, I was sure. Still, it wasn't like I could take a break and rest. We had to ask people if they had seen Asa—and splitting up seemed like a great idea at this point.

"Not if you're not feeling well," Silver just replied when I suggested the idea, looking completely indifferent despite my hoping he'd be vehemently against the idea of splitting up.

So, we walked through the town together, asking the random people on the streets if they had seen a teenage boy, about this tall, black hair, rude, probably just running through… the list went on and on but no luck. No one seemed to have seen him. Of course, I _would_ pick the wrong path. Obviously this was the road more traveled.

"Excuse me, Miss Kotone?"

I turned around, surprised that someone knew my name before I remembered that I had one of the most known faces in Johto, sick or not—and then I also remembered that the woman calling my name couldn't have seen my face since I was facing the wrong way. But all the same, she _did_ know who I was—maybe she knew who I was looking for, too.

It was an older woman, probably in her sixties or seventies at least, who had recognized me. This surprised me; I was usually approached by younger people and reporters, and it was rare to be approached by an elder. Even Silver seemed surprised by the woman, whose piercing blue eyes searched both of us as we faced her. I honestly didn't know whether to be afraid or not.

But then the old woman just smiled at us, curtseying so politely that I felt obligated to do the same. When she looked back up at me, her blue eyes flashed.

"Miss Kotone, are you searching for a young man named Asa? I'm his grandmother."

* * *

**Author's Note:** What? Asa has a grandmother? But of course!

We're getting down to the end, here, folks! I have finalized everything: 17 chapters. That's all. Not too much left of this fanfiction.

I would like to thank everyone now for following me through this whole thing. You all helped me get to this point. (I would just like to note that this is the fastest I have EVER finished a fanfiction of this length—hey, but I don't want to speak too soon!) Thank you! :D

Ha, and I threw in a Robert Frost allusion!

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.


	15. Lanyard

**Chapter Fifteen – Lanyard**

I coughed, choking on my own saliva because I couldn't even believe it. Silver patted my back, and I pounded on my chest, all the while staring at Asa's grandmother in disbelief. How was this even possible? Since when did Asa have a _grandmother_? Asa had definitely never mentioned her—only his mother. What the hell was going on here? Was this lady lying to me? But… she couldn't be. She knew Asa, and she knew my name.

And, anyway, who ever said Asa _didn't_ have a grandmother? His parents had to come from somewhere. It wasn't like they just popped out of the sky, unless whatever my mom told me about the birds and the bees was all wrong. And I was pretty sure it wasn't. So, I was just being plain ridiculous. Of course Asa could have a grandmother! I had a grandmother! I never met the woman, but I still had one.

When I managed to catch my breath, I bowed again to the old lady. "It is very nice to meet you…" I didn't know her name. It was possible that she was the mother of Asa's mother, not the mother of his father, so she probably had a different name.

But she just smiled at me, nodding her head with way too much enthusiasm. "Just call me Granny!" she exclaimed, and Silver and I couldn't help but look at each other. I couldn't tell whether this lady was just plain nuts or if she was always this chipper. Either way, it was a little weird… But, then again, so was Asa—just in a different way. Maybe the whole "crazy" thing ran in the family. But something weird was going on here.

But I decided to play along. This was obviously the sign I had been looking for—she came to me. I knew I had to find out what happened to Asa now. Granny had to know _something_ about Asa. Or she at least had to know more than I did. I doubted my grandmother knew very much about me, but I was sure she knew about my parents. And all I needed to know was what happened with Asa's mother.

"Okay, Granny. It's very nice to meet you!"

She nodded again, and by now I was wondering if she was a bobble-head or an actual person. "Thank you, Champion Kotone. May I say that it is an honor to meet you?" Her blue eyes flashed again as she stared at me. "I have met one or two Champions in my time, though only by chance." She paused, smiling again. "In fact, I used to be a Trainer just like you. I wanted to be Champion. Ah, but, I couldn't be."

I knew she was expecting me to ask why should couldn't, so I humored her. She smiled, shaking her head. "My ancestors worshiped the fire-bird, Moltres, out in Kanto. It was thought that training fire-type Pokémon would bring my ancestors closer to it. My family has always trained fire-types. It's tradition, you know. So, I trained fire-type Pokémon back in the day. But I decided to stop training one day. I thought I could never be Champion training only one type."

I raised an eyebrow, but Silver spoke up before I could. "But there have been plenty of Champions that specialized in a specific type. Wataru did. He trained dragon Pokémon. Sure, they're powerful and often considered pseudo-legendaries, but fire-types are strong, too. You could have been Champion."

I was surprised that Silver sounded so calm talking to Granny. I would have thought that anyone related to Asa would have bothered him, but… he looked fine.

"Asa uses fire-types, and he's Champion now. Who knows how far you could have gone, Granny," I added, and her eyes shimmered again when I mentioned Asa's name. I knew it. She was probably reading me like a book… it looked like she trusted me, or else she wouldn't be standing her talking to us, but… could we trust her?

"Yeah, but he stole the title from you," Silver muttered, so quietly that I didn't think he wanted Granny to hear. But she had the best hearing of any old lady I had ever met, since the smile immediately fell off her face. I shot Silver an angry look, annoyed that he had now pissed off a little old lady.

"You're Silver. Asa has told me about you." Granny nodded again, but her voice sounded much ruder than before. I was sure that anything Asa had told his grandmother couldn't have been very good. "You're in love with Miss Kotone over there, and even I can tell that you would do anything for her. However, you aren't able to do anything because she doesn't want you to—you're afraid to go against what she says. So, you just take all your frustration out on the little boy who _did not steal_ his title. He won fairly. Yes, I know the honorable thing to do would be to ask for a rematch, and Asa did not do that. But he still won. Kotone was unable to battle." She pointed a wrinkly finger at Silver. "Do not take _your_ anger out on my grandson. He may not be an honorable boy, but neither are you."

Huh.

Silver looked astounded by her words, but he didn't retort—and for that, I was thankful. I didn't want to get in an argument here before I found out anything else about Asa. So, I held my hands up to signal a truce. Silver and Granny both stared at me, but I just sighed. My head was reeling after that speech—but maybe that was just because I felt sick still.

"We don't mean any offense." I dropped my hands to my sides, turning my focus on Granny alone. "But I want to have a rematch with Asa. As Champion, he isn't allowed to avoid battle when I have clearly requested one. He keeps putting it off, but maybe if you talked to him… maybe he would actually battle me again. I am quite certain that I would have won that battle if I hadn't passed out."

"Oh, I will take you to him. Don't worry, Miss Kotone," Granny replied, the smile back on her face and the bobble back in her head. I was definitely going to get whiplash from these mood swings if they kept up. "He's back at my house. It's nearly suppertime. I had come here to get some groceries." She held up the bag that I hadn't even noticed she was carrying. "I would love if you could stay with us for supper."

"Yes!" I said before Silver could decline. "We would _love_ to." I shot him a sharp look before returning my innocent gaze to Granny. I was just happy that I _had_ picked the right path. Who knew how far behind we would be if I had gone down the other path?

She continued to smile and nod. "Oh, good. Excellent, excellent. I live in the next town over."

Damn it.

She turned to Silver, the smile now looking increasingly false. "Silver, be a gentleman and carry this." Thrusting the bag at Silver, she came towards me and hooked her arm around mine. She really did look like an innocent old lady, but I could see hints of Asa in her. In fact… she was almost more frightening than Asa was.

We walked back down the path until we got to the fork in the road again, turning down the other path to the village that Granny and Asa lived in. No one mentioned Asa; instead, Granny questioned me about my reign as Champion, wondering which famous Pokémon experts I had met, which famous Trainers I had fought—and she would add her two cents (more like ten), going on and on about how she used to be a Trainer. Maybe it would be interesting to anyone else, but I had my mind set on getting to Asa and figuring everything out.

Finally reaching a large, two-story house, Granny paused and let go of my arm. "I live here with my daughter and Asa," she said, mentioning Asa for the first time in a half-hour or so. "I think you'll like my daughter, Kotone. You have a lot in common."

Then, smiling still, she opened the door to her house and let us inside.

It hadn't been what I expected. This old lady had to be loaded. Instead of being filled with pincushions and quilts, it was decorated ornately, with chic furnishings and clean white walls. It looked more like a house of someone in their twenties or thirties than someone as old as Granny. Perhaps her daughter did all the decorating.

"Oh, great. Grandma goes out shopping and brings home garbage."

I looked through one of the archways to see Asa lounging on a couch with a videogame controller in his hands. His Arcanine was sleeping in front of him on the floor, looking incredibly comfortable. But I imagined the floor _was_ comfy. I honestly wouldn't have minded going to sleep…

"Asa. These are our guests. Be nice." Granny clicked her tongue, motioning for Silver to put the groceries on the table in the kitchen. As we walked through the living room, Asa watched us pass, obeying his grandmother and not saying another word to us. I couldn't imagine he could speak and be nice, so being silent was the better option.

"His mother used fire-type Pokémon, as well," Granny said, pulling some fish out of the grocery bag. "I wasn't entirely sure he would use fire-types. But his mother's Arcanine had puppies, and she gave one to him as his first Pokémon. Well, he's always loved everything his mother gave to him. That Arcanine out there with him… he loves it very much."

_Well, he's always loved everything his mother gave to him_.

I unzipped my bag, pulling out the lanyard with Asa's name on it and staring at it. His mother gave him this… I knew that. So, why would he give it away so easily? Why wouldn't he want it back? I wasn't sure I understood—but when it came to Asa, I understood nothing.

"Where did you get that?" Granny was staring at the lanyard, too, her eyes wide and the smile gone. When she reached out to take the lanyard from me, I pulled back, stumbling into a chair and very nearly knocking it over. Asa hurried into the kitchen, staring at his grandmother with eyes full of concern. It was weird seeing that face on him…

I clutched the lanyard tighter, glancing between Asa and Granny and Silver (who was staring at me like I was crazy). "I found it. Asa dropped it in the woods. He didn't want it back."

Granny turned her blue-eyed gaze on Asa, and soon all the eyes in the room were on him. He backed away against the wall, looking now at the lanyard in my hand instead of at his grandmother. I wanted to drop the thing right on the floor, leave it for him to pick up, but something kept it glued to my fist.

"Did you take that from your mother, Asa?"

_Mother?_

"Maybe," Asa replied, but his face told the complete truth. "All right, yes, I took it from Mom. But I had a good reason! I wanted good luck to battle Kotone! It's _my_ good luck charm, Grandma, not Mom's. I can use it if I want to, and I thought using it to beat Kotone was a good idea. And it worked, Grandma!"

What? Good luck charm?

He looked happy until he met his grandmother's eyes again. Then, the grin that lurked on his face vanished, replaced with a worried expression. "Mom didn't need it, anyway. She was getting worse, not better. The lanyard wasn't helping her. Besides, she's in exactly the same condition now as she was when I left. Nothing changed just because I took it."

Granny put her hands on her hips, disapproving. "Then, why did you so carelessly lose it if it was bringing you luck? And I'm sure your mother would like it back now, anyway. You shouldn't have dropped it."

_I'm sure your mother would like it back now_…

"But I dropped it on purpose!"

The lanyard hit the floor before I even knew I had dropped it. Everyone stared at it the moment it _tinged!_ against the tile… except me. I was staring at Asa, wondering why he had a lucky charm, wondering why he took it from his mother, wondering why he would drop it on purpose. Then, as another second passed, the eyes all turned on me.

"She doesn't look too good…" Asa said, and Silver pulled the chair I nearly knocked over out, pushing me down onto it. I didn't feel very well; Asa was probably right in saying that I didn't look well, either. My stomach felt all queasy, and my chest hurt.

"Why did you drop it on purpose? Why did your mother have it, and why did you take it from her? And why didn't you want it back when I showed you I had it?" I asked him, my hands shaking as I reached down to pick the lanyard back up. But just as my fingers reached it, I pulled away, leaving it on the floor.

"I dropped it on purpose because you needed the luck more than I did."

Thank Arceus I had sat down; I would have been on the floor now, otherwise. Everything just seemed so wrong. This nice house, Asa's behavior, the lanyard, Granny… nothing seemed right about this place. What the hell was going on?

"Do you want to meet his mother, Kotone?" Granny held out her hand, and I was embarrassed that my hands shook more than an old woman's. Asa's eyes narrowed, and he hurried away to the other room without another word, sitting back down on the couch and petting his Arcanine. I watched him as I picked up the lanyard; I watched him even as I put my hand into Granny's; I watched him even as we started climbing the stairs; I watched him until I couldn't see him any longer.

Silver's hand was at the small of my back as we walked down the long hallway of the second floor. Then, guiding me into a large bedroom, Granny let go of my hand and gestured to a figure in a bed. Cords and tubes protruded out of the mass, and I shook my head, confused. This didn't seem right, either. Silver put both of his hands on my shoulders, now, but all I could do was blink. I couldn't move any closer.

"This is Asa's mother. Yuki. She's been in a coma for three years… since Asa was twelve. We got permission to bring her home last year since things weren't improving; we have a nurse on duty at all hours. Her condition is far more severe than Asa's, but Asa has been struggling with his own problems since he was twelve, as well…"

What? 'I think you'll like my daughter, Kotone. You have a lot in common,' Granny had told me earlier. But what did I possibly have in common with this woman? How could I possibly like her when she was in a _coma_? And what did Granny mean by 'Asa's condition'? What condition did Asa have?

"What are you talking about?" I managed to squeak. "Asa got his Growlithe from his mother when he was twelve. How could she have given it—"

"This was after. Almost immediately after. Asa's father wasn't happy that Yuki had given Asa a Pokémon. They had agreed several years before that he wouldn't get one until he was sixteen, but when Yuki's Arcanine had puppies… she gave one to Asa." Granny sighed, shaking her head. "Well, Asa's father wasn't very happy with this. And…" She stopped, nodding to Yuki. Only this nod stopped… it didn't keep bobbling. "He had always had a short temper."

"And Asa's condition?" Silver asked, taking over for me since I was completely speechless.

"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Granny sighed, and I bit my lip, so utterly confused. This was the most messed up family… "He has many panic attacks, usually after spending time up here with his mother. I was the one who suggested he go find you, Miss Kotone. I wanted to get him out of the house."

I blinked, shaking my head. "I don't understand."

"He trained everyday with that Growlithe… it was his coping mechanism. When he first moved into this house with me, he was very ill. There was some very deep psychological scarring—he had nightmares almost every night. Any mention of his father would trigger panic attack, but any mention of his mother seemed to soothe him. So, he trained that Growlithe because she gave it to him. I thought it would help him if he got out of the house and stopped being around his mother. But it seems he gave you a hard time. I apologize for that, but…"

"Wouldn't he have been heartbroken if he lost to me? Why suggest me? Why not a smaller town Gym Leader or just some Trainers?" I wondered, and she gave me a weak smile.

"You cannot deny that you are quite famous, Miss Kotone. You've met countless Professors, battled the best… you were the League Champion. You could teach Asa more than any Gym Leader or any Trainer. Even if he had lost that battle, which he surely would have had you not passed out, he would come out a different person." Granny's eyes flashed once more.

"He dropped that lanyard because it _is_ his good luck charm. He left it behind for you to find. I think he wanted you to come here and meet his mother, so he was guiding you here. The lanyard was yours to hold onto because he knew you were ill. And I do think he wants to battle you again, Kotone." Granny nodded, back to her bobbling—but I wasn't quite as amused this time. "Asa is messed up, I will admit. It seems like you both have hard feelings against him and for valid reasons. It is not my intention to change your minds."

I put my face in my hands, trying to comprehend all of this. How did this world get so messed up? Why couldn't I go back to when everything and everyone was sane—where everyone was fine, not sick, not psychologically scarred? It seemed like Silver and Hibiki were the only normal ones left on the entire planet.

"I'm not changing my mind. You can't use your disease as your excuse, psychological or not. Trust me, I would know. This entire time I've been saying that I only lost because of my disease. Well… I _lost_. Everyone has been going along with that—I only lost because I passed out. That's not an excuse…"

"Kotone!" Silver said, but I shushed him.

"I won't use my disease as my excuse. I am feeling like complete crap right now, but I will beat Asa. He beat me once, but I will not let him do it again." I held up the lanyard, staring at Yuki in the bed. "I think it's time I returned this lanyard."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I actually do a lot of research before I write (fanfiction or my original pieces) to make sure everything is as realistic as possible. So, it is quite possible that Asa has PTSD; there have been hints throughout the fanfiction that he indeed has it (his general irritability and aggression, his anxiety about his mother and not wanting to discuss her, for example).

Even Granny admitted that Asa is messed up. PTSD can definitely do that. It is a really hard situation, and I have never written about this kind of thing. I dunno. I hope I'm not turning this more into a medical soap opera than a fanfiction. Gah!

(I wanted to keep this A/N short but oh well! There are things to discuss! And plus, this is what you get for an early update.)

Granny! She is a little crazy, but she isn't a bad woman. And you have also met Asa's mother and found out what the heck is up with her. I didn't want to go into too much detail about what happened. I thought it had a bit of a better effect as a subtle thing, but, hey, you might not all agree with me.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.


	16. Storm

**Chapter Sixteen – Storm**

"Asa!"

I hurried down the stairs to the living room, Silver close behind me and Granny near at his heels. This had to be it. I had been searching for Asa this entire time just to battle him, to get my title back, and now I would. I was in his _house_, for Arceus' sake. There was no way that he could say no to a battle with me now, especially with his grandmother pushing for a rematch, too.

'He has many panic attacks,' Granny had said. Well, all right, but I hadn't really ever seen him have a panic attack, except maybe that one time he freaked out when I kept talking about his mother. But I took Granny's word for it. If I had been Asa—_that_ kind of person—that would be a very valuable piece of information she gave me. Key to beating him, even. Luckily for Asa, I wasn't. That was his game, not mine. I would win because of my skill, not because I cheated to win.

I didn't care if I had to push myself to win. I knew what I was going to do, and I knew what to expect. The chances of me passing out again, despite how crappy I felt, were slim to none—because I knew that I had to push myself if necessary. It wasn't all psychological, but I would make it. _Keep your eye on the prize_, as they said. And my eye was most certainly on the prize. I would walk out of this house a Champion.

Clutching the lanyard in my hand, I pointed a finger at Asa. He stared up at me with calm eyes, petting his Arcanine almost robotically, and I couldn't stop myself from feeling particularly freaked out by this. His eyes would occasionally drift to my hand carrying the lanyard, changing for seconds, before returning to my eyes, calm, cool, completely unbothered by my presence. But watching him pet his Arcanine, I knew better.

"You met my mother?" He didn't sound angry or happy or any emotion… he just sounded _calm_. I didn't know whether to nod or back away, but Asa knew the answer. He stood up, hand still on top of his Arcanine's head but eyes right on mine. "So, you want to battle again? Or are you just going to pass out like you did last time? Is it even worth trying? I've been putting the battle off for your sake, not mine."

"Oh, yes, you were obviously very concerned about me," I said sarcastically, folding my arms across my chest. "No, we're battling. I'm not going to pass out like I did before. And if I do, I'll just challenge you again and again until I make it through a battle. I want it to be a fair battle, Asa. If you win, you win. I won't challenge you again. But if I win, then, I'll take my title back and leave peacefully." I paused, dropping my arms. "I'm sorry about your mother, Asa." And I meant it. I was sorry.

His eyes narrowed, and he pulled his hand away from his Arcanine. "I'm assuming Grandma told you about my Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, too. Are you sure you want it to be a fair battle, Kotone?" he asked, sounding more accusatory than anything else. "Or do you just want to win and become Champion again? That has always been what it's about, right? Winning."

Granny clicked her tongue behind me. "Asa!"

I shook my head. "No, it's all right. He's partially correct, anyways. This has been about winning; I came out to find Asa because I wanted to win—get my title back. But," I said, looking straight at Asa, hoping not to intimidate him, but to show the true power of a Champion, "being Champion means being fair, honest, helpful… honorable. I'm going to win, and I will be all of those things when I battle."

I expected Asa to laugh at me, to call me a loser, to roll his eyes. But he just looked at me and smiled, snapping his fingers at his Arcanine. The beast rose to its feet beside him, staring at me with its big eyes, and Asa put his hand back on its head. Then, moving towards the glass door in the back of the room, he slid it open, pausing in the doorway.

"All right. We'll battle, and you can be fair, honorable… whatever else you wanted to pretend to be. Come out here when you're ready." He didn't look back at me, and once he finished speaking, he walked out into the backyard, leaving the door open for me. My face felt heated, all my anger building up in my body.

I didn't know what to think anymore. The only reason Asa was always so irritable was because of his PTSD, right? But how could I not hate him for being so rude all the time? I felt bad that he had been affected in such a negative way because of his father, and I knew Asa couldn't necessarily control his behavior. His poor mother, as well, stuck in a coma upstairs—a constant reminder of his father, probably. It was just so hard.

Asa was so cold and demeaning. How could I possibly hate him, though, when I now knew exactly what his problem was?

_Just win the battle, and you won't ever have to see him again. You don't have to worry about it. Just win the battle._

Yeah, that was easier said than done. I had always been confident that I would win the battle, but I couldn't forget that Asa had beaten Matsuba with just his Arcanine. They had been training all the way home, preparing for the rematch that would inevitably come. And Arcanine had been so easy to beat when he first challenged me because it had just evolved.

No, I _had_ to be confident. I needed to stay focused; I needed to win. Everything was riding on this one battle. If I didn't win, I had no idea what I would do. I already promised that I wouldn't challenge him again. So, I would just leave… go home. To what? Silver was the one trying to fall out of love with me, here. And Hibiki… well, I was sure that he loved his time alone.

_Just win the battle._

Right.

"Kotone, dear, are you ready? Do you want to sit down for a minute? I have a lovely table in the backyard on the little porch. I can make some tea—oh! I can make you some coffee!" Granny clapped her hands, smiling at me. Silver and I glanced at each other, exchanging a look. "Kotone, have you ever had coffee? Wonderful drink. It will give you much more energy to battle Asa! Would you like some?"

I couldn't help but smile now. "Uh, no, Granny. Thank you very much for offering, but I think I'm ready to battle him now. But if Silver wants some…"

"Oh, no, thanks. I'm all set," Silver muttered, looking surprised. Granny clicked her tongue again, shaking her head at us.

"Well, all right. But I will have some coffee ready for supper. I am going to prepare it while you battle, yes? Silver, you will help me with supper." Granny's eyes narrowed as she looked at Silver, but his widened. I stifled a laugh, covering my mouth with my hand as I quietly chuckled. Well, I could continue to be entertained… or I could save him…

Taking my hand away from my mouth, I smiled. "Granny, I was hoping that Silver would watch the match and make sure the battle is fair. Would that be all right? If you need any more help after the battle, I am _sure_ he would be happy to assist you. Right, Silver?" I stared at Silver, and he nodded almost as enthusiastically as Granny.

And then Granny nodded with him, the bobble going full force. "All right, all right. You kids have a good time. Good luck, Kotone." She eyed the lanyard in my hand before turning around and walking out of the living room into the kitchen.

"Thank you," Silver said, and I waved a hand at him. I knew I wouldn't really want to spend a moment alone with that woman, and I couldn't imagine Silver would either (especially considering the fact that she seemed to hate him).

I headed out into the backyard, walking first out onto the little porch that Granny had told us about (there was a cute table on it), and then headed down the stairs into the large grassy field. Granny had much more land than I thought—the fence that surrounded the yard went out a good hundred meters or so. Asa stood at the far end, his Arcanine still at his side.

"Ready?" he shouted at me, and I nodded as I took my place opposite him. Silver moved to the side of the yard, ready to watch. "Since I'm the Champion now, I'm making the rules. I want to keep this short—that's fair, right?" He snickered, and I rolled my eyes. "Okay, so, this will be a two-versus-two battle, no switching allowed. Pick your best two and get ready to lose, Kotone! Good luck—you're gonna need it!"

"Ha, I think you'll need it more than I do!" I said, holding the lanyard out to him. I crossed the field, lanyard on my palm, and Asa watched me with narrowed eyes. "Since this is yours, you can have it back, okay? Thanks for letting me borrow it."

Asa just stared at the lanyard, his face contorted with confusion. But then, he reached out, taking the lanyard away from me. "Yeah…" he muttered, shoving it in his pocket.

Spinning around, I headed back to my spot on the field. Silver was giving me a weird look, but I just ignored him. Maybe if I won, Silver would have a bit more faith in me. If I could handle this, I could handle a little disease, right? Maybe he would want to be with me if I won—maybe I would be worth it. I knew it wasn't a matter of worth, but it probably would have been easier if it was.

"Okay, now I'm ready!" I shouted, and Silver held up his hand. Asa nodded at him, and Silver dropped his hand, signaling the beginning of the match. I clicked a Poké Ball off my bag, throwing it out onto the field. "Go! Quagsire!"

"Go, Rapidash!" Asa yelled, throwing one of his Poké Balls. The Rapidash galloped out onto the field, while my Quagsire walked forward, eyeing the Rapidash carefully. Asa laughed, folding his arms. "What, you're going for the type-advantage now? What happened to your Meganium? Afraid it will be too weak?"

I laughed back, rolling my eyes. "Please. I just didn't want to take any chances. My plan is to lower the HP of your Pokémon. If Quagsire gets knocked out, I can send out my Meganium to finish the battle. But I have a lot of faith in my Quagsire. It hopefully won't get to that point."

"Huh. Thanks for telling me your plan, Kotone!" Asa laughed again, but I just shook my head. Part of being Champion was being helpful for your opponents; if I needed to walk Asa through the battle so he could understand what being a Champion was all about, then fine. I would. "But you know what the good thing about fire-types is? They're _fast_ and insanely strong. Your Quagsire doesn't even stand a chance against my Rapidash. Use Flare Blitz, Rapidash!"

He was right. Fire-types were fast, and they had high attack power. But he was already miscalculating the battle. Quagsire was a water and ground type. Fire-type moves would have less of an effect on it, and Flare Blitz hurt Rapidash, too. It wasn't even worth using that move.

But the Rapidash was soon engulfed in flames, sprinting towards Quagsire with intense speed. I barely had time to shout, "Rain Dance!" before Rapidash contacted with Quagsire. It fell backwards toward me, knocked off its feet and through the air, but not before it managed to summon the rain. Quagsire struggled to its feet, pushing itself up and slapping the ground with its tail for balance. It was hurt… but not badly.

That move would be Rapidash's downfall.

The rain had begun to fall from the sky, and I smiled as it fell on my head. Perfect. This was just what we needed for the battle. Rapidash was panting, looking exhausted already, and while Quagsire was hurt from the Flare Blitz, we definitely had the advantage now. Rapidash might have been fast, and it might have had high attack strength, but Asa's decision to use that move was wrong.

"Nice try, Asa. Let me tell you something," I called to him, wiping my hair away from my face. "Rapidash has high attack power, so it was good to use a physical move. However, you should note that Quagsire has high defense, especially against a fire-type move. It also has high HP… compared to your Rapidash. You just lowered your own Pokémon's HP by using Flare Blitz.

"Now, you should be able to guess what move I will use based on my Quagsire's power alone. Part of being a good Trainer is predicting what move your opponent will use before even saying anything. Quagsire has much higher attack power than special attack power, and Rapidash has low defense. So, I'll use a physical attack." I smiled, throwing my hand forward. "Quagsire, use Aqua Tail!"

Asa was too dumbfounded by my speech that he didn't even shout a command at his Rapidash. It tried to jump out of the way, but my Quagsire swung the wave of water around its tail at it before it could escape the blow. It hit dead on, smothering the Rapidash in water. And just like that, Rapidash fell, unable to battle any longer.

"Hey!" Asa shouted as he returned his Rapidash to its Poké Ball. "I thought you said this would be a fair battle! You're distracting me with all your lecturing…"

"I'm not trying to distract you," I replied as my Quagsire hurried back over to me. I gave it a high-five, patting the top of its head. "I'm trying to help you. You made the wrong decision by using Flare Blitz. It's a powerful move, but you should have used something else. Rapidash is strong but has low defense—that move drained it, Asa."

"Yeah, well, I didn't ask for your help! And I thought you wanted to win. Why are you telling me how to beat you if you want to win? You're so stupid!" Asa looked frustrated, but that was fine. He was getting incredibly flustered by my strategy. I could still win while trying to help him—the fact that it was distracting him hadn't even occurred to me when I first started trying to help. I knew the second he told Rapidash to use Flare Blitz that I would win this round. Plus, he was saving Arcanine for later. I would rather be helpful with his Rapidash than with his Arcanine.

But even Silver was giving me a weird look, so maybe I would stop.

"All right, get back out there and get his Arcanine." My Quagsire nodded, walking back out onto the field as Arcanine stepped out. Asa's Arcanine was his strongest Pokémon—if he couldn't win with it, he couldn't win at all. But in a two-on-two battle, I had to admit that I was surprised he hadn't started out with his Arcanine, though I knew why; he was doing the same thing as me. He wanted to lower the HP of my Pokémon and then finish them off with Arcanine.

"Quagsire, Aqua Tail again!"

"Arcanine, use Extremespeed!"

Arcanine moved at blinding speed, so fast that it was nearly invisible. Then, it was at Quagsire, tackling it with such power that Quagsire was knocked back all the way to me, falling near my feet. It struggled to get up, hitting its tail against the ground several times before collapsing, completely done by that one move.

"I'm impressed, Asa," I said, my voice shaking as I returned my Quagsire to its Poké Ball. I was impressed, but I had to admit that I was also a little frightened now—and my lungs were seconding that. Sure, my Quagsire had already been weakened by Rapidash, but that Arcanine was strong enough to wipe it out with just Extremespeed. "Fire-type moves are less powerful in the rain, and Arcanine has strong attack—so, you used a physical move. Good."

Asa rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Send out your Meganium, already."

So, I did, throwing the Ball up in the air. Meganium rushed out, staring at Arcanine. This had been part of our original battle. Meganium against Arcanine, and Meganium had won easily. But his Arcanine had been weak then. Now, it was powerful and quick, I wasn't sure my Meganium would stand a chance. He had the type-advantage.

_No, I can do this. Be confident. Just win the battle. Come on, there has to be a way to win the battle. Strategy is always better than brute strength. I love the disadvantage. The Champion should be able to win with a disadvantage, and Asa didn't already… This battle is mine. Come on, strategy, strategy._

Aha!

"Meganium, I'm betting he'll use Extremespeed again because it's still raining. Dodge the attack and use Leaf Storm!" I yelled, just as Asa called, "Extremespeed!" Ha, one Kotone, zero Asa. My Meganium ran out of way—

But not fast enough. It cried out in pain, falling to the ground. I winced, watching as Meganium struggled to its feet. There had to be a way around that Extremespeed…

Meganium rose, a sudden gust flying around the field. A collection of leaves formed, whipping around the pseudo-arena like a tornado. The rain spun with it, around and around with the leaves, and Meganium cried out again as it released the attack on Arcanine.

_Yes._

Arcanine was hit, weakened by the combination of wind and rain and leaf-blades, and even Asa looked surprised. The field calmed down again, the leaves settling against the ground and the rain flowing straight down instead of within the wind. Arcanine looked damaged, tired. Just one more hit would do it for sure—but not with Leaf Storm, and I didn't have the rain with me any other way.

That had weakened Meganium, too, though in a different way that the Flare Blitz. I would just have to use physical moves from now on because Leaf Storm was no longer an option—I had defeated Arcanine once with Petal Dance, and I could do it again.

"Come on, Arcanine, you can do it! Use Extremespeed one more time! Then follow up with a Fire Blast!"

The Arcanine charged again, invisible for only a moment. "Jump, Meganium! Jump up!" And Meganium pushed off of the ground with its hind legs, soaring into the air the second Arcanine tackled—and missed. That was the way around it… air. But the Fire Blast came right after, and Meganium landed right in it.

Thankfully, the rain weakened the flames, and Meganium wasn't too badly hurt… but the battle was drawing to a close. One move would finish this for either of us. If Arcanine got another Extremespeed or Fire Blast in there, Meganium was done. And if I got my way, Arcanine would be finished.

"Petal Dance!" I screamed before Asa could call anything else. Just like that, Meganium charged, a wave of flower petals scattering around its body. Then—

Done. Hit full force with the wave of flower petals, Arcanine fell, unable to get back up. It struggled and struggled, trying to rise to its feet, but Silver swished his hand through the air again. Asa returned Arcanine to its Ball, looking at it with complete disbelief that he had just lost to me.

_Lost. To me._

"Oh my Arceus…" I said, covering my mouth with my hand. Meganium ran back towards me, forcing its head underneath my other hand. Then, in another moment, Silver had hurried back to me, picking me up and swinging me around. I laughed, feeling so completely overwhelmed. My heart was beating out of my chest, my head pounding with pain, my lungs gasping for air even while I laughed—but I didn't care! I _won_!

"You did it, Kotone!" Silver exclaimed, setting me back down on the ground. Meganium glared up at Silver for taking me but seemed to forgive him as I wrapped my arms around its neck, hugging it for being the best Pokémon a girl could ever ask for. And my poor Quagsire, tired beyond belief—it, too!

Asa walked slowly over to me, reaching a hand out to me as I looked up at him. "You won, then. Fair and square."

I smiled, breathing hard, and put my hand in his, shaking it so violently that his whole body bounced up and down. "Thank you, Asa… That was a good… battle—your Arcanine is… really powerful. If it hadn't… been for Quagsire's Rain Dance… well, I think you could… have won that… battle. So, good job. Maybe… you'll be Champion again… someday."

He just frowned, nodding solemnly. I felt a little guilty for taking the title away from him because I knew how it felt. But I had won it—actually won it, with his terms and conditions. I had come all the way out here just to battle him. I wouldn't give it back. Not until he beat me.

"Well, then, that was a wonderful battle! Be proud of yourself, Asa!" Granny called at the doorway to the house. "Now, I'm sure you're all hungry, and I'm sure you would all love some supper and coffee. Come on in!"

Asa sprinted towards the house, running up the stairs two at a time. I returned Meganium to the Poké Ball, positive that it was tired out. Clipping the Ball back to my bag, I started towards the stairs with Silver close beside me.

"Congratulations, Champion Kotone," he said, and I smiled back at him; but the smile was wiped off my face after a wave of dizziness coursed through my body. "Hey, are you okay? That battle probably took a toll on you, too."

"No, I'm… fine." I smiled again, trying to reassure him, but he didn't look convinced. "Hey, you're… supposed to go help Granny, silly." He narrowed his eyes at me, not looking pleased at this reminder. Still, he shrugged, hopping up the stairs ahead of me.

I started up the stairs, feeling horrible when I knew I was supposed to feel so _good_. This wasn't what it felt like when I became Champion the first time; I had felt shocked, inspired, amazed that I could beat Wataru—and he had been happy for me. Now, I just felt sick—physically, anyway, and Asa was nowhere near happy for me.

Another rush of dizziness as I reached the top step. Another deep pounding heartbeat. Another moment that I could no longer breathe.

And then, everything moved around me. I didn't feel like I was moving, but the world was moving around me. My head hit the ground first with a _crack_, and everything—like the first time I battled Asa—went black once again.

* * *

**Silver's POV**

Everyone in the room looked up from what they were doing at the same time, staring at each other with dark expressions. It only took us a moment to get our acts together and move, but that was a moment too long. We all ran for the door, Asa fitting through first, and Granny and I followed close behind.

Asa whimpered, something I didn't expect from a fifteen-year-old like him, and he hurried—no, sprinted—back inside before I even got out. Granny called his name, but everything seemed to be silent and slow now. Even as I ran out onto the deck, through the doorway that Asa had just come from, I felt like I was walking, just barely moving.

I saw her feet first, those cute little red sneakers, near the middle of the stairs. Then her legs, and her body, and finally, her head at the ground, a little crimson river pouring from somewhere near her skull.

"Kotone!" I called, though I knew how ineffective that would be. I could tell that she wouldn't respond. I _knew_ there was something wrong with her. I should have followed her up the stairs, stayed with her, at least, instead of believing that she was okay and going to help Granny. Now… the storm.

I had researched that for quite some time. Typically, the person would go through a sort of remission, seeming all right for a while—the time ranged—before getting sick again, this time harder, and usually when they were completely overwhelmed. And I should have been more watchful when I saw Kotone getting worse and then better. She even _told_ me.

"Call for help!" I yelled at Granny, who watched at the doorway like a lost puppy. "Come on, go call someone!"

Then, Granny hurried away, and I could see her calling someone on the phone through the window. What was I supposed to do now? Nothing like this had ever happened… did I move her? Did I try to get her to breathe again—

She wasn't breathing…

I looked back at the window, but Granny had disappeared. Maybe she knew what to do! I stood up, running back inside to find her sitting with Asa in a corner of the living room. Asa was breathing heavily, his head in his hands and his knees pulled tight against his chest.

"He's having a panic attack. I'm sorry, but you'll have to help Kotone alone… I called for help—someone should be here shortly," Granny said. "Seeing Kotone like that… reminded him of his mother just after…" She stopped, turning back to face Asa. I just shook my head, running back outside for Kotone.

But that explained something, at least… Asa ran away when he first fought Kotone not because he didn't want the rematch right then… but because he was having a panic attack. Seeing Kotone faint… laying on the ground like that… it reminded him of his mom?

I fell to the ground beside Kotone, unsure what to do. "Kotone! Stop! Come on, wake up! Hey, stupid, wake up!" I screamed and screamed at her, hoping that I could _will_ her awake. But nothing was happening. There was no flutter in her eye, no rise and fall of her chest, only a fading beat of her heart. Fading, fading…

"If you wake up, I'll let you be my girlfriend, okay? Come on, that's a good deal, right? You just have to wake up…"

Nothing.

Thump… thump… thu…

I had no idea how long it took the ambulance to get there. But I knew it was too long. They took Kotone—and Asa—away, but I couldn't help but think only one would come back.

I was used to being abandoned, but if it had been Kotone's choice, she wouldn't have left… but I couldn't help but thinking, _At least she's Champion_.

As if that made any difference.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I honestly wasn't expecting this fanfiction to make it to novel-length (50,000 words). But it is now! Weird how that works out, right? I thought this would just be a novella. But oh well. I guess I am just so used to writing novels now that my fanfictions are just long. Sorry if you hate long fanfictions. XD

I want to keep the A/N of the last chapter shorter, so I want to clarify a few things now. Many of you have asked what Kotone's disease is. Well, I didn't want to tell you at first because I didn't want my readers being preoccupied with the name. Know what I mean? But I will tell you now since there's only one chapter left. The biggest symptom that I mentioned very subtly and briefly was her swollen lymph nodes (I wrote that her neck was swollen). She has lymphoma. This is a relatively "rare-ish" cancer, which might account for why the doctors couldn't figure out what she had (though the swollen lymph nodes should have been a hint). Technically, the "disease" itself is incurable, but the symptoms can be controlled (just like any cancer, really). People with lymphoma can live very regular lives.

Depressing chapter. But kind of happy, too. She's Champion again, at least. BTW, I totally hate writing battles—as I told many of you—but I'm happy with how this one turned out. It's better than my others, at least. Oh, and the Silver's POV part was totally necessary. It wasn't just an excuse to write Silver.

So, anyway, this note is too long (heck, so is this chapter!). One chapter left (actually, uh, it's an epilogue)! Oh, and for the record, Granny drinks too much coffee, I think. I hate coffee. Gross. XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue – One Year Later**

"No one is going to buy those, Hibiki. Besides, we shouldn't really be using Kotone's Champion status to sell off her old crap."

"Come on, who _wouldn't_ want to buy _Champion_ Kotone's old, used-Super Potions. Just look at them… feel them… smell them. Silver, they _smell_ like Kotone." Hibiki sniffed the box of Super Potions for emphasis, and Silver crinkled his nose. "Who wouldn't want old Super Potions that smell like Kotone? They're collectibles for crying out loud! They're rare! Silver. They smell like Kotone, man."

He glanced over at me, pointing a hand in my direction before returning his gaze to Silver. "Go smell her, and then smell these. And just _try_ and tell me that these don't reek of Kotone."

Silver just rolled his eyes and pushed the box away as Hibiki tried to force it on him. Hurrying over to me, like I could be of any help protecting him, he stood behind me. Hibiki followed, simply walking around me to get to Silver. He continued to shove the box of Super Potions at him, and I would have been beheaded if I hadn't ducked out of the way.

"Hey, you're going to hurt her! Just smell the stupid Super Potions!" Hibiki yelled, receiving several looks from people shopping at our yard sale. I winced, waving to the people apologetically; the murmurs commenced from the crowd of people. I definitely hadn't expected such a large turn-out. I was just trying to sell the stuff I didn't need anymore—it had been Hibiki's idea to sell _everything_. My old Super Potions, for example.

Silver finally gave in, sticking his nose into the box and inhaling deep. He handed the box back to Hibiki without a word. Then, shrugging, he walked back over towards me. "I guess it smells like her," Silver said, but that was enough for Hibiki to be satisfied. He walked away, setting the box down on one of the tables and slapping a sticker with a completely unreasonable price on it; they were used Super Potions, not antiques.

"Look, everyone!" Hibiki waved his hands around, trying to get everyone's attention. Several people walked over to him, and I couldn't help but slapping a hand to my face. This was ridiculous. "Kotone cares so much about her Pokémon that whenever they were hurt in battle, she would use a little Super Potion to heal them! Isn't that kind, everyone?" The soft roar of mutterings rang again from the crowd. "Well, now these Super Potions can be yours! They smell like Kotone! Show them off to all your friends!"

More murmurs from the crowd. Now, Silver slapped a hand to his face, shaking his head. I couldn't believe people were actually into it. This had to be the weirdest yard sale I had ever been to in my entire life.

"Kotone, it's not possible that you could move out any faster, right?" Silver questioned, and I smiled. As strange as Hibiki was, he was only doing it for show, trying to have the whole 'salesman' perspective. And, honestly, I thought it was working pretty well. People were actually buying the trash that I had laying around in the house, if only because Hibiki was hounding into their heads how cool the stuff was.

"What, and move in with you? Mr. Stoic? At least Hibiki is entertaining," I joked, but Silver didn't smile or laugh. I gestured to his face, trying to keep my chuckling to myself. "See? Mr. Stoic. But I suppose you're entertaining in your own way. It's easier to make fun of you than it is to make fun of Hibiki. There's a plus."

Silver made a little _humph_ noise, crossing his arms and turning away from me like a little child. I just laughed again, running around to face him again and putting my hands on his folded arms. He didn't try to turn away from me again, though he wouldn't look at me. But I could tell that he was just fooling around. He wasn't easily offended by my jokes.

"Ah, but you make it so easy. You don't even respond! So, I could just keep going and going, and it would be completely fine. I wouldn't even know it annoyed you because you wouldn't even tell me. Right, Mr. Stoic?" He dropped his arms, and I slid my hands down until they met his. I weaved my fingers in with his, and he didn't pull away. He hadn't pulled away from me in a long time. Not since I returned home from the hospital.

"Next week, Mr. Stoic," I whispered, and he nodded, as if next week couldn't come any faster. I had to admit, though, I felt sad that I was leaving Hibiki and moving in with Silver. Sad and happy, really. I wanted to move in with Silver—I really did. Now that we were officially dating, things couldn't be better between us. But Hibiki was my best friend, and I would miss him and his crazy antics.

I forgot all about Hibiki and those crazy antics when Silver kissed me, but I didn't feel guilty about it. I removed my hands from his, moving them instead to around his neck. Silver, on the other hand, moved one hand to my back and the other to my head, finding the scar that I had from falling down the stairs. It was a constant reminder of how I used to be, but I liked my scar. It was a part of me, my past, how I had been a year ago.

It wasn't like I was completely better because I wasn't. I was still taking medication for my illness, which, while they still didn't know what it was one-hundred percent, they were pretty sure that they could control the symptoms. And I felt much better when I wasn't flushing my medicine down the toilet. I actually felt _normal_. Like Kotone.

"Ew, can you please keep stop sucking each other's faces in public? That's disgusting," a familiar voice snapped, and I pulled away from Silver to look at the speaker.

"Asa, be nice," Granny said, and I shook my head. Asa was just joking… I could tell. There was a smile threatening on his lips, and as I laughed, it finally grew, a clear curve on his face. He certainly looked like he was getting better, too. He wasn't nearly so irritable, but that just meant that his medication was working, too.

I didn't know why I was so happy to see both of them here—even Asa—but I was. I had seen Asa and Granny far too many times lately, but that was all right with me. When Asa wasn't being such a jerk, he was a good kid, and Granny actually acted like a grandmother to me.

"How are you doing, Asa?" I continued to smile despite my solemn tone, hoping that this would at least make him feel a little better.

Asa shrugged, looking at me with sad eyes before walking away. I stood watching him maneuver around the yard sale, picking at the random pieces of trash that Hibiki had put up for sale, for what seemed like minutes. But I knew it was only a few seconds later when Granny cleared her throat, and I turned back around to face her.

"How is he really doing?"

Granny started her head-bobbling again, nodding and nodding. "Better. Well, he's still upset about his mother's death, but I think he knows that she's better off now. He knew she was never coming out of that coma, but now she can be in peace." She continued nodding, and I frowned, watching Asa again as he picked up one of those old Super Potions. "He's been training to cope. I think he could definitely give you a run for your money, Champion Kotone."

I laughed, though I knew she was serious. "I'm sure he could. But I'll wait for him to ask me for a battle. He doesn't think he's ready yet." I watched as he sniffed the Super Potions curiously before staring back at me. "His mom would be proud of him. He went down as Champion with more honor than I did. And who knows? He could definitely be Champion again someday. But I think he should take the League challenge first. He beat Matsuba. He could easily defeat the other Gym Leaders."

"Hmm, yes, that might be a good idea." Granny looked at Silver, the nod a constant variable. "Go get him, Silver; I want to have a talk with him." Then, with an annoyed look from Silver, she added, "Please."

And Silver went off towards Asa. Hibiki was talking to the teenager, probably trying to trick him into buying something as payback for everything he had done, but as Silver approached, he slinked away.

"He really isn't that bad, Granny," I said, referring to Silver. She smiled, shaking her head now instead of nodding. I sighed, staring Granny right in the eye. "He's really not. He's made some mistakes, but I think he's corrected them. You just have to get to know him. I mean, it took me a while, but…"

"But you love him."

I smiled then, nodding like a fool in love—or maybe just like Granny. "I do. He's been there since the beginning, and he was there at the end—had it been the end, of course. And it's been really hard on him, so the fact that he's still here… well, I think that just means he's here to stay if I am. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, so…"

Granny laughed now, putting a wrinkly hand on my shoulder. "No. You look much better. Those doctors did one heck of a job saving you. And I'm just messing with Silver, by the way. I think he's a wonderful young man—he always helps me without a fuss! Such a good boy!"

"That's because you scare him, Granny," I noted, but she just waved a hand at me.

Asa and Silver finally made their way back over to us (Asa carrying several of my old things, including one of those used Super Potions, which I found a little odd—but that must have been what Hibiki forced him to buy). I had to admit, Silver even looked better now that he wasn't stressing out so much about me. Everything seemed to fall into place after that battle at Granny's house, and—though there was that scare—everything was perfect now.

Well, as perfect as things could be with a sick girl.

"Kotone said that you should take the League challenge, Asa. What do you think about that?" Granny started her nodding again, and Asa just looked blankly between Granny, Silver, and I. Then, shrugging, he handed his stuff to Silver to hold.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little metal case, still shiny from being new. Opening it, he showed me its contents, and I had to admit, I was surprised. There, right in that case, were three badges: a Fog Badge, a Plain Badge, and a Hive Badge. I gasped in surprise, so shocked by this that I stared at them until Asa closed the case.

"Granny!" I yelled, and she just laughed.

"Surprise!" She winked at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"I got the Fog Badge first," Asa explained as he put the case back in his pocket. "Matsuba said I didn't have to battle him again since I already beat him once, but I wanted to. He said he thought I had improved since the last battle. After I got this one, I went to Leader Akane. She wasn't too bad, but I had trouble battling her Miltank. Once I beat her, I battled Tsukushi, and I had the type advantage there. It was an easy battle."

"Well, good, but remember that you had the type advantage when I battled you with my Meganium. You need strategy as well as strength if you want to complete the League challenge. And once you finish that, you can take on the Elite Four—but be careful because they're really strong—and I'll be up at the Indigo Plateau starting in a month—"

"Kotone." It wasn't often that Asa said my name without sounding completely disgusted by it; he was still ashamed by everything he had done, perhaps, so he didn't like calling me by name. Even hearing it felt funny in my ears, but I probably had to get used to it. He _would_ be battling me again someday. "Let's get there when we get there, okay?"

I couldn't help but laugh at this. "We? I've already done it once, buddy…"

Asa's face turned red, all the blood rushing to his face in embarrassment. "Hey! I didn't mean it like that! It's an expression! Haven't you ever heard it before? You don't say, 'Let me get there when I get there,' you say, 'Let's get there when we get there!' Hey, stop laughing at me! I didn't mean it like that!"

But I didn't stop laughing. I laughed and laughed, something striking me so hilarious that I couldn't control myself. Maybe it was that I was standing here having a conversation with my newest rival. Maybe it was that I had a way of making friends out of my rivals. Maybe it was that I just thought the Asa-on-medication was nicer, but he still had his moments. Maybe it was that I could laugh like this and not lose my breath anymore. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. But either way, something was funny.

"Kotone! What the heck is so funny? And how come I wasn't here to see it?" Hibiki threw his arm around my shoulder, and I managed to stop laughing long enough to straighten up and look at him. "It's nice to hear you laugh."

I smiled, turning my eyes on the Super Potion that Silver was still holding. "Hibi, give Asa his money back. That Super Potion is worthless."

Hibiki furrowed his eyebrows, backing away from me like I had told a horrible lie. "It's _valuable_!"

"No. It's not. Asa, that's a worthless piece of junk. Come with me—we're going to get your money back for it."

Asa pulled his stuff back from Silver, almost dropping some of the other random pieces of crap that he had purchased. Arceus, what was Hibiki selling these people? I could see a tiny photograph of me and Silver from when we were Asa's age peeking out from behind the Super Potion, and I tilted my head to read the writing on it: "You can be a Champion, too! Love, Champion Kotone" was scrawled on it.

I was pretty sure I never wrote that on my own picture.

"I don't want my money back!" Asa said, and I raised an eyebrow. I didn't know whether to be worried or just confused. "In case you haven't realized, Kotone, you are _famous_. You've been Champion twice, technically speaking, and you survived whatever illness you had. Everyone in the entire world knows who you are. I am selling this stuff for twice what I got it for! I'm going to be loaded!"

Oh, no, I didn't need to be worried. Just confused.

"What?" Hibiki exclaimed, but Asa just stuck his tongue out at him. "You shouldn't really be using Kotone's Champion status to sell off her old crap!"

Well, that sounded familiar.

"Hold on, hold on!" I waved my hands in the air, trying to get everyone's attention. When everyone turned to me, I snatched the picture away from Asa. "I didn't sign this. Hibiki, are you going around forging my signature on stuff to make it worth more?"

Hibiki smiled innocently, backing away slowly before making a run for it.

Silver looked bored, but I could tell he was secretly amused by all this. "I'll get him," he volunteered, walking off in the direction Hibiki had just sprinted. "Hibiki, you're a dead man!"

Dear Arceus…

"Well, okay, do whatever you want with that junk. I'm not going to use it; I was just going to throw it all out." I looked down at the photo, smiling back at the two young teenagers smiling up at me. Well, maybe I would have kept that picture, but since Hibiki ruined it with his manly handwriting… no, he didn't ruin it. He just added a piece of himself.

"Actually," I started, looking up at Asa and Granny, "can I keep this?"

"What? No way—"

"Asa, let her have it. It was hers to begin with, anyway." Granny smiled at me, winking once again as her head bobbled.

"But I paid for it—"

Granny just shushed her grandchild, waving at me as she walked off with Asa. As they got further away, Asa turned around and waved, as well. It was like a new beginning, a redo, something to start with the next time we met. I couldn't forget my past, or his, but I could move on. How would I get better if I didn't move on?

"Mommy, Daddy! It's Champion Kotone!"

That little voice was vaguely familiar to me. I turned around, seeing a tiny girl, and I recognized her. She wasn't nearly as small as she had been a year ago, but I still remembered her. Chouko. I remembered telling her to continue calling me Champion Kotone. And she was… she remembered _me_.

"Chouko!" I exclaimed, hurrying towards her and squatting to lower myself to her height. She held up a hand, and I high-fived her.

"See, Daddy, I told you I know Champion Kotone!" Chouko looked back up at her parents, and I straightened up, extending my hand to the man. He shook it without saying anything, clearly in shock that his daughter had been telling the truth all this time. "She promised that the next time she saw me, she would be Champion again!" She looked up at me, eyes serious. "Are you Champion? Did you tell the truth?"

I felt Silver's hand on my shoulder as he came back over to me (having clearly given up on searching for Hibiki—who was probably hiding). There was something reassuring about all of this, like everything was finally working out.

"Yes, Chouko. I'm the Champion again."

* * *

**Author's Note:** I want to start off by saying this: when I first pictured this epilogue, I knew that many of you would be unhappy with the way I ended this (well, I figured you'd be happy that Kotone lived, but I thought most of you would be mad that I skipped everything that happened between this point now and chapter sixteen). This is definitely the way I intended it to end, though, so I'm all right with that. And I had always planned for Chouko to reappear. She's so cute! :D

Second, I want to thank everyone who has been following this the whole way! I really appreciate it. I know I say that a lot, but I seriously do appreciate it. :D (Do I sound like I'm accepting an award? Haha!)

Third, Kotone was never going to die. Come on, I'm not THAT mean! Do you guys really think I'm that mean? ;)

So, I hope you enjoyed reading this fanfiction as much as I enjoyed writing it! I think I need to write something happy after this, though. Too much angst. XD

Disclaimer: The last one for this fanfiction! So sad… Hehe. Anyway, I do not own Pokemon!


End file.
